Audio Geek

Jaskier: I saw an explosion and thought "now who could that be?"

Geralt: really?

Bucky is at this point just totally confused about what’s acceptable in America in 2019 when you’re not Avenger vs. when you are and where Rocket comes from and has totally lost track of norms. He’s just exhausted, hunched over a little table eating chicken nuggets all beaten up in his Bucky outfit half falling asleep, Rocket passed right on the table, when a McDonald’s server who’s just trying to live slowly walks up.

Server: (clears their throat) Um…s-sir?

Bucky: (dazed, eating nuggets)

Server: Sir, you can’t have that animal in here?

Bucky: What animal?

Server: The um…that raccoon there. There are health codes.

Bucky: (nudging Rocket) Hey, Rocket.

Rocket: (turning over) Five more minutes.

Server: Uh

Bucky: (shrugs) He’s really tired, sorry. (nudges Rocket) ROCKET. We gotta go. You’re against health codes.

Rocket: (stirring awake) I’m what the hell?

Server: Oh my God.

Bucky: (mouth half full of nuggets) They said we gotta go because you’re against the health codes.

Rocket: (jumping to his feet, pointing at Server) WHAT THE HELL? HOW ‘BOUT YOUR FACE IS AGAINST HEALTH CODES! I JUST BEAT UP A GODDAMN SPACE WORM THE SIZE OF THIS JOINT AND YOU’RE TELLING ME-

Bucky: (sighs, gets up, sticks Rocket under his arm, grabs bag of nuggets) Sorry for the trouble.

Server: Uh

Rocket: (stuck under Bucky’s vibranium arm)  GODDAMN DESCRIMINATION IS WHAT IT IS! YOU CALL THIS AMERICA! I KNOW CAPTAIN AMERICA, MY FRIEND, AND HE WOULD NEVER STAND FOR THIS-

Venom popping from Eddie's shoulder: Hello child.

Like imagine Peter being super embarrassed when all of his classmates are wondering why the fuck Thor, god of thunder and king of Asgard, is on their trip.

Or why Captain Steven Rogers is standing at attention as the teacher lists off all of the parents who volunteered to come.

Or like even the defenders, like imagine the principal asking why he thought a blind lawyer from Hell’s Kitchen was a suitable candidate for chaperoning a bunch of high schoolers.

Or Natasha comes along and all the kids are too afraid of her to say anything the whole time.

Imagine Peter trying to explain that his second choice after his legal guardian was known Kennedy Assassin, James Buchanan Barnes.

Imagine the principal trying to figure out how in the hell a student contacted S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Daisy Johnson for what basically amounts to a babysitter for a weekend bus trip.

Or even further and tie in Venom and have kids questioning why some off-the-rails San Francisco newsman signed on to help this random kid in Queens.

Like I love all the headcanons about the older superheroes deciding that this child is their responsibility but the domestic side of that is just hilarious

3 dorks with no sense of self preservation? team up of the century

bonus:

Merry Anything

The spider kids get another loser uncle