Confused Existence

But that never matters when the result is still the same.

Words wound like daggers and cut deeper than any wound

Ironic that the same words that so effectively hurt are useless,

Worthless,

Empty.

Harm cannot be undone and “sorry” is not a cure.

My words cause you pain like no other and they can never be unsaid. No matter how noble, no matter how innocent, no matter how small… they wield more power than I should have.

Years after years

Thousands of words

The sweetest of sounds, like nectar on your lips. Intoxicating in smell and addictive in its seduction. Your voice like ribbons in the wind or feathers from above, you have been the balm to my wounds, the liberator of my soul, the air that I breathe.

The love that I crave

The touch that I yearn

How much have I hurt you. Too blind too inept at speaking. My love for you is plain and bountiful, I pray my words are not the same as a finger dug a cut or a curse without a cure.

Losing you would mean losing myself. I’m not selfish enough to fear the withering of my being, but I am not willing to let you go. Your very being is the light deep within me and the joy to my world.

Lover dearest,

I hope you do forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted you to doubt your feelings or worth, and if you one day do, feel shackled, empty, and misunderstood - then I hope you leave for the love of yourself and the deepest understanding that you, my beating heart,

Don’t blindly follow, but trust the universe has your back

Things don’t happen to us when we want the to or when we’re ready, but we are prepared to handle whatever it may be; however hard it be.

It can also be so easy and effortless in all the chaos inside my brains

Unmasking

Comfort

Understanding

Open conversations

Body double

Accountability

Reassurance

Stability

Trust

Clear communication