Notes & Words

I can't believe I lost another idol that I love. The pain and devastation of X1's disbandment is still fresh and I haven't fully healed yet, then suddenly this happened? Youngmin is my bias in Ab6ix and hearing the news just left me broken all over again.That same excruciating pain never left me. It's always been here and it sucks!

We know he did something irresponsible, but he isn't evil. If only those people become a little kinder and a little forgiving. But in their eyes what he did is not just a simple mistake it is a crime, and they're blinded by their anger and disappointment that they forgot he's just a human. It hurts how people turn a blind eye for all the good things he have done and focus on that one bad thing. 😭💔

Youngmin-ah, our alpaca leader.

My shining star, Youngmin.

I don't know how to accept your decision but knowing you, you're a selfless man, a loving and caring hyung and you love us Abnew a lot. I'm sorry we failed to protect you, instead, until the very end you protected us. You've sacrificed something big and precious for the sake of your members. 😢

I will never forget you. Thank you for being the best leader for us. Thank you for all the laughter you've shared with us. Thank you for sharing us your love in music and for showering Abnews so much love. I can't stress it enough but you made me a better person.

I don't know when our path will cross again, just the thought of not seeing you with the rest of Ab6ix makes me sad and the void in my heart when looking at them will always be there, I will always think about you. Promise us one thing, that you'll live a better life. Heal yourself and comeback strong. Keep us in your heart and we will keep you in ours. Youngmin, please take care, don't be in pain.

I hope people stop associating the name X1 is equal to trauma or anything of the same kind. It is not X1 that hurt the members, it is not X1 who shattered their dreams, it is not X1 who turned their back. It is the circumstances. The bad events that unexpectedly arised.

I don't want people especially my fellow OneIt to have that mind that whenever the boys see traces of X1, the first thing that come out of their mind is that they’re traumatized by it. I know it depends on how each of us interpret it but X1 is their home. A place where they felt most love and appreciated. For majority of them it is their first love and first home. It was a  dream that came true, even it was too short we know what kind of person our boys are, they’re the purest soul. They will treasure and cherish the time spent being in X1 for the rest of their lives. They met the best people in X1. They shared beautiful memories with X1. I know Oneit feel the same thing, that X1 is our safe haven.  

I think I can relate a little to this, a different story but the same feeling. It was just last year when I applied for a different job description with the same company. I was hired and became a part of a new team. I love my previous team, I've been with them for the past 3 years. They are the very first individuals I became close with. It is the first job I landed after graduating from the University. My team helped me a lot and I couldn't even think of surviving that job if it's not because of them. I love my manager, she was very passionate, helpful, caring and stern when it comes to teaching me the things I am lacking. I grew with that team for the past 3 years and had the best time of my life too.

However, just like everyone else you get burned out with that same routine. One day, I woke up and I realized that I don't want this kind of routine anymore and I don't want to feel suffocated with this job I am doing. That time I applied for a different role and I have to leave my own team to be part of another.

With my new team, I am happy and the burden of the previous job transcend with a new feeling. It was confusing at first but I kinda get the hold of it because my new team and manager helped me a lot. My new role is much easier and I don't feel anxious going to work knowing that I am more confident now.

Whenever my new manager and I have our coaching session he would asked me what I feel now. I always tell him that I am happy, but at the back of my mind I have this feeling of longingness from my previous team. I loved them so much but the pressure from that job is taking it's toll on me emotionally. It is not the people that traumatized me but it is the circumstances. Whenever I think of my previous team, I am only reminded of our good times together, they are such loving and beautiful people. I would want to be in the same team as them again but maybe in a different circumstances.

Sorry for the sudden rant/story telling, I just need to let it out or all this bottled emotions will burst. I hope people stop saying that X1 is better off disbanded and the members are much appreciated in their own different groups now compare when they are still in X1. My heart swell whenever I read something like that, it’s as if being in X1 is a curse and that it only brought them misfortune.

For me, X1 is a blessing. They are my reason.

I believe that X1 and Oneit will be reunited.

It takes a leap of faith. Let’s trust X1.

This bed weather is making me extra emotional. I'm rewatching X1 showcon while editing this short video. This is for all my fellow OneIt who's having a hard time and X1. Just letting you know that we never left and we are still waiting for you. Saranghae yo~ 🦋💕

Ps. Please help us stream Flash MV in YouTube. And for those consistently streaming thank you for your hardwork. Let's do this for our boys. Road to 100M views. Hwaiting! 😊

Being a OneIt is taking it's toll on me emotionally. Everyday, I read something that trigger my emotions and I just become irrational. I say and do something out of my unstable emotions and suddenly It's offending people, it's hurting them and people start judging me for being too much. To be honest, I don't know where to place my self anymore.

I know deep in my heart I only want my boys to be happy, I want to support them in their individual activities. I don't intend to hold them back if it means a much promising career for them. However, I know that it will take time. I don't know how long or until when to be exact. I feel like I am still stuck to where I am left at. I tried watching their individual and group activities but the more I see them with other people the more that I am being stab by reality.

The boys who used to call us OneIt, can no longer say our name.

The memories we shared together, they can no longer share and brag.

The awards and milestones we promise to achieve together are no longer possible.

And the reason behind their smile and laugh are no longer us.

It hurts so bad.

But you know what, nothing hurts more than seeing them lost their spirit, cry and regret. So even it hurts, I'll try to support their dreams. Slowly, One step at a time.

The unit still needs to happen. It's my selfish desire and the only cure to my pain. I will always carry this excruciating pain in my chest and devastation I've felt for losing X1.

I am a OneIt and I'm seeking for some support in streaming X1's mv. Our goal is 100m views for their 1 year anniversary which is August 27.

Some of you might find it funny how we chose to stay and continue supporting a d*worded group. It is very sad and unfortunate indeed, however OneIt never stop loving our 11 boys even after the sudden d*word. They are so precious to us we can't easily forget the injustice and how badly they were treated.

Flash is the only mv we had from X1 and this song means so much to us. It's a gift we received out of love and now we want to repay the love we recieved from the boys. OneIt are still waiting for the unit. We never left and we will wait for them to come back.

Please spare us some of your time to listen and watch the music video. Your help and support will be so much appreciated. Thank you so much.

I am writing this if in case we fail to bring back our boys. I just want to express how grateful I am to each and every OneIt who stood with our boys, the ones who stayed from the very beginning until this moment. We've worked hard my lovely fam. We did. It's almost been 4 months, and yet we still bear that excruciating pain in our chest whenever we think of 6th January. There were days that we felt all fired up and ready to fight and there were days that we just felt like nothing is coming out from all of this. We have experienced a lot, heartbreak after heartbreak. Each of us has our own fair share of ups and lows in the fandom. Our fight is not easy, it was mentally and emotionally draining.

My One it family, please don't be sorry, for we all did amazing. When I decided to take the risk, I didn't know it would be this hard. I was so afraid of the uncertainties and the unknown. Everyday I question our circumstances, Why us? Looking at some idol groups being happy with their fans while achieving milestones with them  I couldn't stop myself feeling jealous and insecure, my heart swell everytime, we should be spending happy times with X1 too. It's so unfair.

But who would have thought that we are still here after all the pain it had costs us. Many nonOneits question our love for the boys, they throw hate on us without knowing our true intentions. They don't know our story and they refused to listen. They tell us we're delusional and we're too greedy and selfish but they don't know the bigger story. It pains me when One Its are being attack. We don't deserve the hate, X1 don't deserved this fate.

The brave ones, the strongest family I ever known, One it. Thank you for loving our boys, you guys are the most genuine and most unconditional people I know. For a rookie group who spent short time promoting, it's amazing and still keeps me in awe how big our love for X1 is.

I don't know how long has it been since I last open my tumblr. Many things happened and one of them is I became an X1 fan. I'm a OneIt, and our story is one of the most heartbreaking and devastating in Kpop World. I'm so tired but I don't want to quit or give up. So I am here again, promoting Hangyul and Dohyon's mv in titled "Unfamiliar".

If you're a OneIt I'm gonna give you a big big hug. Please support our boys. They've been working so hard so let's pay it forward. PLEASE HELP US STREAM THE MV. It's a very good song. It's raw and beautiful.