MIDNIGHT MOON.

“we all know you slept your way to the podium.”

“well, i’m through with this whole life drama.”

“i know this sounds cornball, but i’d like to somehow make a difference in people’s lives.”

“i would like to by them all a coke.”

“it would have been a poetic experience.”

“would you please take your face out of the camera?”

“i’m superman.”

“it’s the only thing i really learned in college.”

“he’s so cheesy i can’t watch him without crackers.”

“you’re beautiful.”

“you’re supposed to get your own espresso.”

“it’s symbiotic.”

“no, i don’t have a lawyer. i don’t have a dentist.”

“you know what? just forget it.”

“so, is this a date?”

“did he ask you to go out or hang out?”

“what the hell is your problem?”

“i know how much you like to mainline in misery here.”

“the next time you make microwave brownies … i’d really consider using a microwave.”

“you’re strangely attracted to me right now.”

“you’re oddly, oddly attracted to me.”

“i’m bursting with fruit flavor.”

“i think i’d be working even if i wasn’t getting paid.”

“i should have stayed in college and got a degree in astronomy or something.”

“i remember being so happy on the roof of our old house, just staring up at the stars.”

“i am picking up some very strange vibes in here.”

“to hell with it. what do i care?”

“i’ve never been a good example before, and, um, i’ve never been good with responsibility.”

“i think i was conceived on an acid trip.”

“i will walk out of here if that happens.”

“i just got fired.”

“that just screws up my whole idea of good and evil.”

“that is literally, literally, the nicest thing that anyone’s ever said to me.”

“that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“so what are you doing for the rest of your morning?”

“i’m really not that smart.”

“this day has been the biggest nightmare.”

“where were you when i needed you today?”

“you can stay with me for one cigarette.”

“i know you can stay with me for one cigarette.”

“you’re just gonna have to swallow your pride.”

“it’s just that nothing is going according to plan.”

“i can’t even take care of a chia pet.”

“i know you’re afraid, but you’ve got to find him.”

“man, you are in the bell jar.”

“you’ve been waiting for this since the day we met.”

“why are you suddenly acting like a jealous girlfriend?”

“don’t dick around with her or with me.”

“i mean, try at something, for once in your life!”

“i can’t believe i haven’t slept with him yet.”

“i’m sorry i’ve been such a bitch.”

“is there a support group i can join to help me comes to terms with my own homophobia?”

“do you have, like, a problem with me or something?”

“i wish i could live off of creeds and mottos.”

“ah, forget it. i just sound pathetic.”

“i was really gonna be something by the age of twenty-three.”

“sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.”

“look, i screwed up, all right? i know.”

“i’ve never had sex with somebody that i loved before.”

“welcome to the world of the emotionally immature.”

“i know that scares the shit out of you ‘cause i’m the only real thing that you have.”

“i need a kiss.”

“i kind of got this arcane glimpse at the universe.”

“i just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“i need you to explain something.”

“i thought i’d live forever, but now i’m not so sure.”