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-Well!  If he’s calling her “Master-chan”………-

-It’s settled!  Saitou’s a pretty okay guy!  He has been dubbed “Hajime-chan” before the Lord.  He is now stuck with it for eternity.-

Oh you’re familiar with saniwa stuff, huh…  And, yeah, I’m not in my traditional garb for those duties at the moment…  And I’m not really running around in my saniwa capacity, mostly my Master one…  But enough rambling!

-And, unfortunately, enough staring at Kijinmaru.  For a few moments.  She does fall for him showing off just a little, though, and it makes her gaze linger just a bit longer.-

But, you’re correct.  We’re out on the field.  In Mesopotamia.  Fortunately also not in an actual Grail War situation–most Servants in the city walls are ones with us.  As for the situation… sort of a down time between combat?

Eh, I’m familiar with the title in passing. I’ve never met one in person...

But I’d say you’re the cutest saniwa I’ve met so far! Just forget that you’re the only one I’ve met and the title’s all yours. Doubt any of saniwa that were around in my day would be all that eager to talk with a guy like me, so... you’re already taking the lead, far as I’m concerned.

[He’s curious as to her fascination with his Kijinmaru, but that’s something he can grill her about another time. Maybe she’s a fan? Wouldn’t be hard to imagine--he likes swords plenty, himself.]

Mesopotamia, huh... I had a feeling this wasn’t the typical summoning, but this is a pretty far-out locale even for me.

[Saitou looks around a little more, shifting his weight a bit. The calm in between battles... home sweet home, then. Maybe a little sandier than he’s used to, though.]

Wanna find somewhere to take a load off while you catch me up? For starters... are these other Servants in the city under your employ, or am I your one-and-only special guy?

-Even if she is just a clown, she always, always will be impressed with everything about summons and–is that the missing boy.  That’s the missing boy, she knows it in her weird little bones that’s the missing boy right there with him.-

-He’s taking it all in stride and–yeah!!!  It is him and his boy–though, she’s a bit surprised that he’s… this casual?  He has a presence like this, compared to the other one she’s seen.  Having a cornucopia of Shensengumi around back home kind of alters one’s perspective.  But this one seems to fit with the Servant versions at least by her own sort of Master Senses.  But given those Master Senses just lead her to shoving some old stained instructions as a catalyst, those are suspect at any fucking time.-

Hajime-chan!

-She goes right fucking for it.-

It’s an honor to meet you–I would be Memeko Dankuri, Master and saniwa of…

…

Usually, I’m back home when I do this.

Hey now, I just said... ahh, whatever. Nice to meet ya, Master-chan. You’ve got a good look about you.

[He catches her eyeing his Kijinmaru. Well, why the hell wouldn’t she be impressed? He rests his hand on it, puffing up a little with pride.]

[The circle sparks and glows, but then fizzles out. Guess you can’t really trust stuff like th--oh wait, no, it’s starting up again! It just needed to savor that sopping old bacony taste before it could really get going.]

[The orbs spin, though the coloring looks a little odd, but the pillar of light beams brightly as it should. The glint of a dark brown saya catches in the pillar’s light, and a figure appears.]

[A man takes form. He blinks a few times, his eyes adjusting to his new environment. He checks his surroundings first, not meeting his new Master’s eye just yet.]

... huh. Not really where I was expecting to end up. Eh, I’ve been in worse, I guess...

[He’s being coy now, taking his sweet time before he finally makes eye contact. He gives a lopsided smile.]

Ahem. Shinsengumi’s Third Unit captain, Saitou Hajime. Feel free to put a little love on it and call me Hajime-chan, if ya want.

Oh!! It’s my birthday, I nearly forgot!

...

Ohhh... ohhhhhh...

Christine... my Christine... my Angel... without you, I...

[He’s ambling through the halls, claws dragging against the wall. He’s always like this when Christine Memeko is out on a mission, but even knowing that her business is very important (Christine must prove that her voice reaches far greater heights than their so-called Prima Donna, that toad-voiced Carlotta), that she will be back... he still aches.]

Ooooh... what am I meant to do... without you here...

[Given he does this so often, it’s more than likely that he is the source of exasperation and annoyance for his fellow Servants. How, after all, is one meant to communicate with a man with his level of mental pollution?]

...

[He paws at the cone. Nnn, this is a joke, isn’t it? It’s a poor one, if you ask him. No matter, he’ll be able to get it off... in... no time--hell and damnation, why can’t he claw it off?]

............

.....................

NNNRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-He’s sort of a smelly boy, but that’s fine.  Sometimes, she isn’t fresh smelling if she has forgotten to eat properly for a month or two.  Maybe he’s got low blood sugar?-

-She is also fucking knocked to the ground with his affections because he’s just a big baby boy, and it’s like getting knocked out from a flashbang when she hits the dirt.  She’s still seeing stars and her ears are ringing as whatever damage was done is healed.-

You’re so full of love, aren’t you!  Come here!  You’re my Bacon Boy!

-She grabs the smelly boy.  Smooches.  This is fine.-

[He goes down smoothly, just splays right the fuck out over her body once she hits the ground. This is part of the plan, too, naturally. If she thinks this is all he’s got, well, she better think again.]

[Even that BASTARD SEIMEI would QUAKE IN FEAR at his UTTER GENIUS in WHAT HE DOES NEXT.]

[He begins making biscuits on her chest. Big, powerful biscuits.]

-She feels as if she’s getting bulldozed by a freight train.  Getting all of the love and affection from her little chicken guy with a force that could topple gods.  She wonders, idly, what would happen if he gave her an itty bitty head bump.-

-Could she………. have a horsecat?  Functionality of a horse without hooves?  Could this be the evolutionary solution to all her problems???  How sick would it to be to ride a cat into battle???-

-She has to juggle a cat and a Cat all at once but it’s worth it.-

Nrrroaawwww to you too–it’ll be fine!  I love you!  

-She might fall and break her glasses with how he’s plowing into her legs, honestly.-

[Yes! That’s exactly what he needs! Your love and trust, you FOOL!!!]

[He comes out through her legs, and Other Cat be damned, he gets up right in Memeko’s business to give her the head bump she desires.]

Prrrrraaah... prrrraaaah.

Baconator, you look so fluffy right now!

-Back at it again with Humanity’s Savior and one normal cat and one Normal Cat.  But, at least she can somewhat read the room.-

I’m admittedly always left kitty care to the guys so I don’t know how to get you two to get along–or make you know that I still love you even if you have a new sister?  But I do!

You’re my special big boy!  My big little chicken guy!  

[Indeed, Master of Chaldea! He IS fluffy!!! And therefore he is more deserving of all of your attention!!!]

[He now goes out of his way to rrrrrrrub against Memeko’s legs, curling his tail around her with each pass. One might wonder how this would further his insidious agenda. And to that, one would do well to look closer.]

[To truly infiltrate the ranks of the enemy, one must become the mask. And become the mask he has... he is her special big boy. He is her big little chicken guy.]

Nnnnnnnrrrrr.

Nrrraaaaaaow.

[But the fact remains that, though subtle, Baconator has increased in size. He’s a little bulkier. A bit taller if he’s standing on all fours.]

“An interesting answer. The answer of a challenger, it would seem.”

“Such an attitude can serve quite well, when called for.”

“After all, everything has an ending.”

“Perhaps a more difficult question then.”

“Could a man and an ant. Or a God and a man, ever hope to understand each other?”

A subtle light plays across his dull eyes, as he awaits a response.

A man can understand a God, if he gives it enough thought.

As for God understanding man...

“What is a God? What is a Devil? Theologians, philosophers, playwrights, vagabonds, and many others have asked such questions. Sometimes in jest, sometimes in earnest.”

“If it is that a God is simply a sufficiently powerful being, then is not a man a god to an ant? And even that being so, cannot a man die due to the sting of an ant? That an ant cannot comprehend the actions of a man does not in and of itself give those actions Mystery.”

“But if a man can think of what motivates an ant. Cannot a God think of what motivates a human?”

“And likewise. If an ant could think of what motivated a man, what conclusions might it reach?”

Hey Zoro, you like weird, philosophical claptrap right?

No?

Well. Here we are nevertheless.

[Oooh, philosophical claptrap? Lucky for you, sir, Zoro likes a challenge. Especially one of this ilk.]

An ant might think something like a man is a God when they first encounter one, sure. But animals don’t believe in Gods, either--if anything, an ant would see it as an especially tough predator.

One ant, maybe.

But what’s one man to millions of ants that want to take him down? Hah, hell, what’s a man to a single ant that can locate an open wound faster than the man can notice that it’s on him?

You can have all the power in the world and it won’t matter. It doesn’t make you any holier. It just makes you harder to kill--but not impossible to kill.

But folks that call themselves Gods like to think they’re untouchable. They like to think they can do whatever they want, whenever they want. They might even think their power gives them an excuse to wipe out villages and towns just because they feel like it.

All because someone called them God. Hell, they might have even thought to call themselves God.

“I have not ventured to the Goddess of Venus’ temple hitherto undertaking this journey. Now simply seemed like an appropriate time to do so.”

His gaze falls further into the mountain range. At this point granted he’s not certain that Zoro is able to follow it. But here’s hoping.

“I do not seek to offend, but you do not seem the type to pay homage for homage’s sake. If you have business with the Goddess, then what exactly is it that you seek?”

I see. Might as well while you’re in the area, right?

[He’s peering over the old man’s shoulder, trying to follow his gaze. He might see it, yes, but will it register as The Destination in his mind? Hard to say.]

You’re right in that I’m not really the type to pay respects like this. I don’t believe in gods and goddesses, doesn’t matter what kind they are. If this Ishtar is calling herself a goddess... she must be either powerful or full of herself.

It’s a good thing he’s already traversed the path to the Abyss. Because at this rate if he wasn’t an ageless, deathless being he’s pretty sure that he’d die before this guy could find his own ass.

With a map.

--ah, there you are.

[The Moss-Man is now back on track. One can only wonder how he managed so long before entering the Throne--no, if anything, one can only wonder how he managed to find the Throne in the first place.]

“Yeah fair enough. Not like just having a walk around hurts even if you don’t find what you’re looking for.”

“Jason, I’d argue brings a lot of it onto himself. But he seems to be aware of that. I wonder if it’s just a case of ‘you can’t help being who you are’.”

“Yang. Well. I mean she is considered one of the three great beauties. Although you probably don’t want to call her beauty country ruining. Still, she seems fine unless her switch gets flipped. Then she’s just … weird.”

Rather than dwell on the fact that one of the party members glows when horny, she opts to change the subject.

“Say, why do you want flowers anyways?”

Hubris. I think. Is the word? Or maybe. Tempting fate? That he. Has so many allies. I can’t tell. What kind of luck. He really has.

... I am. Not very good. With concubines. To begin with. And that... switch. Of hers. That is. What gives me. Pause.

--oh. Why?

... you may. Find it. Silly. But...

I wanted. To. Give them out. To the children.

They should. Have something. Pretty. In these times.