slutrio stan first, human second

ISSAAAAAAAA.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

✨ Pre M Minger ✨

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

remember when bingus guest starred. yeah

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

the shrimp in the club tank WHERE WAS THEIR EPISODE !!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

LEO TOLSTOY THE WEED DEALING GHOST. I STILL CANT BELIEVE THEY DID THAT

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

i was gonna say lucy but i just remembered the forever trilogy is a fic not actually canon. so. probably michael sheehee, the perchael discourse is terrifying but he’s just a funny little guy

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

the slutrio should answer for their horny crimes

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29997471 GO FORTH AND READ. ITS SEXY

Had one of them been a woman, their relationship probably would have been dramatic and short-lived and ended definitively somewhere, as both of their canon relationships tend to.

Even in whatever moments of closeness they have, it isn’t long term and it isn’t consistent, and they’re definitely not In A Relationship or anything, but it’s just enough of a taste to keep them, especially Anatole, wanting more, but not enough to ever permanently satisfy him. And like. Idk if I’m explaining it well but the difference in their relationship (at least the headcanon idea I have of it lol) and like all of Anatole’s other relationships and most of Dolokhov’s boil down to a couple things:

1) They’re friends. There’s a reason they keep hanging out and coming back to each other after they’re separated, and I don’t think it’s because they’re in love. Perhaps this is just aro brain, but I think it’s The Power Of Friendship that underlies whatever weird and toxic attraction they have that really keeps them together (not together in a dating sense or anything, just together in a like. Hanging out sense)

Caveat about that, I understand that Dolokhov is manipulating Anatole but I’m fond of the reading that it started out like that and Dolokhov slowly developed some grudging fondness for Anatole (and Anatole canonically has no idea he’s being used)

2) Anatole doesn’t get an opportunity to get truly bored of Dolokhov because he never really gets to have him. I don’t think Anatole’s sitting here thinking about how much he ~wants Dolokhov~ or whatever, I think he’s content with whatever weird thing they’ve got going on. Like. Neither of them actually want it to be A Relationship because Dolokhov’s not stupid enough to think that would work out and he will not admit he actually enjoys Anatole’s company, and Anatole just doesn’t feel like that needs to happen, whore besties is good enough for him.