i am a girlboss i am a war criminal i am a lunatic . i am clinically insane & the next virgin mary & i am never going to die

i found that i am not entirely human, and a strange calm seemed to wash over me. everything and nothing made sense, and i thought about dazai: was this catharsis what he felt every day of his life? i was surrounded on all sides by all kinds of people, but only i stood alone. the sea of bodies undulated and laughed and crashed and cried out, but i stood on an island, alone. alone i stood and alone i stayed, until i washed myself ashore. there was no great pain in this departure, yet my body seemed to create tears on its own, as if it had expected a stronger response. the tears fell, but in my heart i felt nothing at all. my voice quivered, yet the usual pain had not come. have i finally shattered into the million pieces i wanted to become all those years ago? gather me up in your arms, and you'll find room for two hearts in the shell of my being.

im feeling so many emotions and the human experience feels crushing my body feels so tight im screaming for help fr i neeeeeeeed to love and be loved i need a form that idnt physical i need to ascend to another level of existence or maybe tear my flesh nd bones apart grasping at chunks of meat that keep falling off of my yellow bones and so on snd so forth

I’m empty all of me is empty you kept me filled you kept me stilled the waters rushed to the shore became flush reds and violets and bruised skies cream saucer eyes I’m empty all the time you kept me going but I’m empty all the time

I fell into Eden without any eyes, scales cut my ankles, a fang pierced my thighs, the sun was singing in tongues, the moon would never rise, I heard the ocean waves come apart and meet again, I heard the morning doves drop into their graves and peek out their heads, I fell into Eden—not land—I fell, and down the swirling tree I went, hanging from my core, from my neck, the blood on the apples, the hiss curled all around, I fell into Eden, I fell all the way down