BLACKENED

is this the most dec thing ive ever said i think so

( && OUT OF. ) guess whos BACK

aesthetic meme: cremisius aclassi for praesidiium

easily scared | whiny | repetitive | selfish | arrogant | easily excitable | too silly | stubborn | blank minded | overly cautious | loud | easily bored | untrustworthy | disloyal | manipulative | over sensitive | possessive | clingy | obnoxious | gullible | annoying | judgemental | tactless | merciless | unlucky | soft-hearted | sarcastic | reckless | paranoid | unsophisticated | pushy | self critical | smart-ass | infamy | solemn | erratic | 

( && OUT OF. ) ah!! okay so. when you ask why he acts differently between verses? each verse is a different part of his life and/or an au of his main timeline. ( such as my red lyrium au that is currently being devloped. ) he acts differently because he is different. in one verse soon to be added, he is a young child from the ages off 11 - 16, for at 16 he leaves his home and is disowned.in the next verse, he is 16 - 19, searching for a way to help tevinter/ feel at home with himself. now! this is where he meets sebastian! he is actully inspired by sebastian and devotes himself to his home’s chantry ( the imperial chantry ) in the hope that this religion can keep order and more or less happiness like the orlesian chantry everywhere else.next, he is 19 - 23, serving as a brother in the imperial chantry.then, at the age of 23, he is elected black divine in an effort by the clerics and priests of the imperial chantry to use him as a pawn. he’s young, they think they can control him. now, this is where he begins his change. he ex-communicates those who elected him, sentences them to death as a show of you cannot use me, and becomes so enthralled by his own power he becomes greedy. he becomes accustomed for people to comply to every wish and want. then, as the years pass, at the age of 25 he refuses to be called decius, only going by most holy, his holiness, and black divine. his mind relates decius to his younger self, either on his own or as a brother, and therefore sees it as weak compared to his power now.it is his progression as a character as well as how circumstance plays into his morals/actions.as for the sebastian ship, i can go on and on and on. me and ixstus have a thread plotted out and, as you may have seen, some interesting drabbles going on between our smol sons. im not gonna go into details as it will most definitely spoil the thread/plot, but basically sebastian and decius are mirror images of each other, including their family relations and younger attitudes, except decius goes one way while sebastian the other. their personalities are so in sync, so incredibly matched, that when decius is younger, he easily connects to him. from there, decius, a man who has always cared for his religion, finds a sort of inspiration in sebastian ( as i have said before ) and strives to achieve all that he has in his homeland, tevinter. they are drawn together, but as always, time changes people. ( though, hint hint at decius’ mental state, he doesn’t see himself any different than a leader doing his best for his country, even if he uses his status and title for selfish means. )time is an enemy to decius. and time can change even those who believed themselves heroes.

( && OUT OF. ) hey there anon! yes i slipped this time and i apologise! i’ve been trying to be more careful with my hospital/cancer related posts, usually with the cancer tw tag, but as that...isn’t always the case when i talk about my hospital visits, i’ll start tagging them medical tw && hospital tw if that will help!! also: if you need to talk to me about anything, i’m here. i’m pretty much going through the same thing, as a good friend of mine ( more than good. he’s all i really have anymore. ) was just recently diagnosed. just keep that in ind alright? i’m terribly sorry! my condolences to you and your close someone’s family. i will try to be more active in my tags!

                       he GROWLS, eyes GLOWING with that of his                       inner DEMONS. they HOWL at the outage of                       the ELF’s audacity, breath IGNITED with the                       words of COMPOSURE.                           ‘ ah, the little OVES dares to speak.                            and, as ANSWER to your QUESTION,                            nothing. however, i do not think YOU                            can say the SAME. ‘

             there is BLOOD speckled upon TEETH, grin             FERAL in the low light. hands grip HARD on             the other, fingers acting as CLAWS as they              draw paths of FIRE across his skin.  && he             LAUGHS at the plea, the cry BEAUTIFUL in             this DARKNESS.                                  ‘ that’s it my ANGEL.                                    allow me to make                                         you SING. ‘           magic FLIES at his fingertips, a near BURNING           sense of cold FLOODING the body beneath him,           JOY fueling his actions as it ARCHES under his           deliberate PAIN. he does nothing to SOOTHE it,           stays his hand  as crystals LICK at such fine skin.           he lets them GROW, lets them CRAWL && PRICK           until the pleas are back; a SYMPHONY to his ears.           it does not last for long, a muffled cry NOTHING           compared to the EUPHORIA of such holy being.           he wants to SCREAM, look to the HEAVENS &&           proclaim WHERE IS YOUR MAKER NOW?                     ‘ your maker is not here, angelus. ‘          VENOM springs at his lips, POISON so easily found          with each word. BLASPHEMY, once thought SINFUL,          falls from his mouth, his touch, his GAZE, as if it no          longer held CONVICTION over him.                              ‘ I am your GOD now. ‘         he HISSES, tips of fingers turning to IRONS, heat          rushing to the skin below. it CRACKS at the frozen         sight, each disintegrating act causing SPARKS of          an UNKNOWN attack. fingers DRAG, unrelenting          as ICE is replaced, fire going DEEPER than the skin.         bruises && burns, BLOOD && cuts, sebastian          ASCENDS to a thing of pure BEAUTY.                                ‘ say my NAME. ‘        a word, so SMALL and FORGOTTEN in these times,        spoken so BROKENLY does he release a GROAN of        his own, a GASP escaping from such HUNGRY lips.                               ‘ GOOD BOY. ‘               && the night has ONLY JUST begun.