Keep on talking, we don't play by the rules

Is your tea getting cold?

Did you turn on your kettle and forget about it and now the water is cold again?

Is the tea bag still in?

Did you intend to start the tea making process and forget?

everyone in the thread is saying “dude that was ice posing as a census worker!” which is fucked up and evil and I hate it. so as a former census worker, some tips for distinguishing ice from real census workers

while the census conducts surveys outside of the decennial census every ten years, they will always notify you first, usually by mail. a census worker will not arrive at your residence if you have not already ignored a message from the census bureau

census data is organized by household rather than by individual. a census worker will not be looking for a specific person by name, they will be looking for the resident of a specific address

Gender dysphoria is not an excuse to police other peoples bodies. 

Let me take a step back to explain what I mean: Gender dysphoria can show up in a lot of different ways. It’s not only „discomfort with chest and genitalia“ or „discomfort with naked body“ - but of course that can be a big part, and that part can make you feel wildly uncomfortable in perfectly harmless situations. It is fully understandable to seek relief from it! Apart from the „big steps“ (like hormones or surgery), many trans people do so by finding their own accommodations. Clothing is the obvious example here but it can be small habits too, such as avoiding to look in the mirror after a shower. 

That is selfcare (in the non-romanticized meaning of that word). You do what you need to do to improve your own wellbeing and quality of life - it only becomes an issue when that idea of accommodating yourself is misused to tell other people what to do. 

Before I get further into this, let me say: the overwhelming majority of trans people wouldn’t even think to use it that way - and the very few who do are often quite young and still figuring stuff out. It can also come from cis people who want to be supportive and just misunderstand how to do that. So, read this in a „firm but kind“ type of voice, not an angry one. 

What am I talking about when I say „policing other people’s bodies“? It’s stuff like this: 

„You shouldn’t post about pregnancy on an lgbt+ blog, I’m a trans man and even thinking about pregnancy gives me severe dysphoria“ - you can accommodate yourself by not engaging with pregnancy content, by filtering tags or unfollowing blogs. But you can not tell other people to not talk about an important bodily function and life chapter.

„Trans people who haven’t had bottom surgery shouldn’t post nudes, it makes me dysphoric“ - again, you can accommodate yourself by just not looking. Unfollow, block, filter. But don’t tell them what they can or can’t do with their bodies.

„I understand the whole idea of T4T but it gives me so much gender dysphoria to even think about having sex with one of those trans people who won’t even go on hormones or try to pass“ - then just stop thinking about sex with them. Honestly, talking about how anyone’s body is not good enough for you to sexually fantasize about is just creep behavior, dysphoria or not. People don’t exist to be good wank material for you. 

You see the common pattern in all these examples: Accommodations are about you. You can decide to change your habits, your behavior, your style, your sexual activities and (if medical transition is accessible for you) even your own body. You can not decide that someone else needs to change theirs. 

With all my love,