What’s up everyone, I’m Lucas Sinclair - the chillest guy you’ll ever meet!
Some fun facts about me - I was born and raised in Hawkins, Indiana, I was on my high school basketball 🏀 team for a time (still occasionally play on the weekends), I’m an enjoyer of D&D ✨(never beating the nerd allegations), and my niche hobby is archery 🏹
Married to the badass MadMax @bis3xualmax but not tied down if you know what I mean 😉
Childhood friends with Dustin Henderson @dustin-judges and Mikey Wheeler @gayestmike - but in high school I befriended Willis @gayestwiil due to how close him and Mike were. They were literally inseparable. I’m so glad they’ve worked things out.
Cool with Ella @straightestella since my wife and her used to be tight. Hope they work things out one day.
Got a little sister who’s the loving thorn in my side @erica-ace I’d advise not to get on her bad side cause her punches hurt 10x more than her words(speaking from personal experience).
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@friendlyneighbourhooddm smcu lore timeline part one, oct. 26 through dec. 20!! colors are by importance according to the us terrorism threat levels but minus yellow because that isn't a tumblr font color (red -> orange -> blue -> green) (red being highest and green being lowest). theories are in purple. i am so tired. i spent six days on this before i realized it wouldn't save and had to delete all of dec 21. i spent three hours scrolling as far back on every smcu blog as i could to find their first posts. i cross-referenced timestamps. i want my bachelor's in smcu please!
all jokes aside, this was really fun to compile. i love looking back on smcu lore. i'm sad (and irritated) that people bullied olly and ethan (aka straightestmike and gayestwiil) off the internet not only because it made finding older lore an absolute pain in the ass but also because i considered them my friends. they built this fandom and this story, and they were always at the core of it. i'm sorry that they weren't able to appreciate the love and joy that they created for us. i'm sorry that people thought it was okay to harass them like that
as always, if you'd like written out/detailed recaps of events, days, timelines, plotlines, etc. don't hesitate to send an ask or something <3
october 26
mikey lore drop #1 (thank you @crispautumn1eaves for preserving this. you have my eternal gratitude)
december 9
willis and @straightestella have a heartwarming talk about mikey being terrible
ella confronts mikey about not signing the divorce papers and they talk about ella's sexy italian boyfriend
december 10
willis responds to an ask about mikey
mikey harasses cody
mikey and michelle start dating (this is @straightest-michelle 2nd post btw)
@gayestrichie says mikey and willis made out in 1988
mikey and michelle get shotgun married
drama about mikey's new marriage
mikey, willis, and @gayestcody fight (x, x bc reblogs are messy)
december 11
mikey harasses cody
mikey and willis have a fight after cody leaves willis's house
this is just a fun michelle & @dustin-judges interaction
cody and willis fight
dustin posts a helpful rundown of lore thus far
@bis3xualmax and ella reunite
anon ask boris about his boyfriend. oh... oh, anon, i'm so sorry. theo did NOT in fact stay six feet away. (this is just here bc i think it's funny. also my unreliable narrator boris agenda)
december 12
mikey makes this post explaining the lore between him and willis (thank GOD for @iambylernow for being my straightestmike archive. ty for getting me into the smcu fandom mootie <3)
ella answers a question about how the children, wilbur and wilfred, are handling hers and mikey's divorce
dustin posts a life-saving lore recap
@lesbianestrobin post a life-saving people chart
december 13
some kind of lumax/henderclair/elmax thing going on
cosmo loredump from ella
mikey catalogues current members of the smcu in this edit
smcu-reports #1 is released
@erica-ace threatens mikey
another edit??
@lesbianestchrissy posts a lore recap
december 14
smcu-reports #2 is released
mikey has been kicked out of the garden (10:45pm gmt)
mikey has a midlife crisis (11:45pm gmt)
michelle has a lore dump (she's FRENCH??????) (also, and this was revealed in the smcu newspaper, her last name is Fletcher)
gayesteddie tries to rescue steve from erica's evil base
dustin posts overview of new members
december 15
ANOTHER EDIT???? these are fantastic but man i'm about to cry. i keep wondering if i'm hallucinating
dustin posts a lore recap. i have been working on this for the past THREE HOURS this is my lord and savior. color-coding unclear.
willis updates his intro
SUERB stands for secret underground ex-russian base
art!! by @thegreateventof1928
robin posts a chart & lore recap
december 16
another edit olly man how did you make all of these
boris, robin, cody, vickie, chris, ziggy, max, lucas go to a gay bar and invite mikey. hijinks ensue. (x, x, x)
i join the smcu! i argue with boris and join the straightest trio
mikey has a crisis following some realizations
mikey comes out as a gay homosexual
@smcu-reports acc is created (intro post)
december 17
robin post an updated lore chart/family tree
another smcu!boreo fight
lesbians comfort boris
cody and willis chat
mikey's restaurant, flowers and soles, opens (though he later revoked the no gays rule! progress. we love to see it.)
boris and i christen the restaurant by fighting in it
the Pause begins -- no new accs for 48 hours
carlton drama happens. a new account, gayestcarlt0n or something, is made. he harasses willis's account and makes ethan extremely uncomfortable. with the wrath of the smcu coming down upon him, he deletes the account and says he'll just stick with his "main smcu blog." he did not have another smcu account. marks first big bullying thing that willis and mikey experience. will not be linking the things he said or any reblogs of his account.
december 18
smcu-reports #3 is released
the SMCU THEORIZATION FORUM is created!! initial theories are made about who dustin's wife is (x, x)
erica and friends plan to kill god
smcu!boreo fight AGAIN, this time in shitty russian
mikey's restaurant has glowing heterosexual reviews
it's crossword time
dustin needs a plumber... does anyone know who to call?
the plumb shack phone call comes out
@bicuriousestchris discovers that the smcu is set in chicago
russians according to the smcu reports (and a theory by @lesbianest-vickie)
reporters are missing
december 19
robin chart update / the Pause ends
willis opens his own restaurant, soups and faguettes (technically dec 18 but i so can't be assed to change it rn)
dustin turns straight (and here) and joins the straightest trio (also technically dec18 but at midnight so i'm putting it here)
theo turns straight
@ask-the-wheeler turns straight
dustin forgets his wife
mikey is too important
more about the plumb shack phone call (kudos @lesbianestnancy)
lucas apologizes to dustin and gives him flowers
forgotten & the truth
cody tries to revolt (lmao nice try buddy)
claire fuels russianflowergate for shiggles
december 20
superman theory (@bicuriousestchris)
diana folds to theater-kid-ism/song clue #1
henderclair flowers part 2
song clue #2 (colors of the wind)
song clue #3 (the world will know)
song clue #4 (love in paradise)
song clue #5 (waving through a window)
song clue #6 (open arms) (IM SORRY DIANA I DIDN'T KNOW)
rapture plot lvl 2 achieved, the rapture is out of control
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it has come to my attention that most of the people who were super active in mystery SOLVING have banded together and pivoted towards mystery CREATING. with that in mind, i am now unveiling....
✨ EYRIE'S GUIDE TO SOLVING MYSTERIES ✨
RULE NUMBER ONE: you don't need all the facts to say things! you don't need to know for 100% that you're right, or even that your theory aligns with any percent of the evidence. the scientific theory states that a scientist may begin with a HYPOTHESIS based on limited data and use that hypothesis as a guide for further investigation. make a guess and see if you're right! guess and check that shit!
RULE NUMBER TWO: everything is evidence! everything is foreshadowing something and it all has a meaning. there is not a single word spoken that means NOTHING. your job is not to say "well it's probably just xyz" you should be saying "IT ALL MEANS SOMETHING!!" the lesson of petuniagate taught us that if it wasn't something already, the DMs will bend over backwards to give you MORE to follow and investigate in the direction you want!
RULE NUMBER THREE: test it out! (shoutout here comes science) if you think something is true, what would happen if it WAS? when @gayestcody thought he knew what the flowers were about, he tested it by eating them, and was proven wrong. when @closeted-theoooo made a theory about being the next forgotten, he tested it by starting an rp with @bisexualborisp and was proven right when boris forgot his name! this is the patented "fuck around find out" step, and as the great scientists say, there's no finding out without fucking around. i hope they say that, anyway. if they don't, they should.
but let's branch away from slightly-repackaged-scientific-theory
RULE NUMBER FOUR: lurk tf around. obviously you are doing this already. i hope. the other thing you need always is EVIDENCE! if you've followed the above steps and peppered in a dash of fucking around, you shouldn't need a ton of evidence to be making your theories, but you still need SOME. you can fish for evidence by starting rp with someone, or sending ominous anon asks (this can double as testing your theories out, btw!). as of right now, i haven't even reblogged all the evidence out there to the community, and you have PLENTY to start making theories.
now GET OUT THERE AND SOLVE SOME MYSTERIES!!!! LOVE YA!!!
you slowly come to, blinking to try to clear your vision, which is oddly fuzzy. you look down at your arms and legs, which are covered in scratches and bite marks -- but rather than being red, all you can see is an oily substance dripping off you. your mouth tastes kind of fishy. your stomach growls; you're hungry, but also not. @bicuriousestchris is next to you. you start to get up; you feel strong, you feel good, you -- oh. nope. you're nauseous again. gross.
jeez, what happened to you?
Indeed what the hell has happened to me?! Damn everything hurts…did that sickly cat maul me? For real? Ugh…am I diseased now? Do I have rabies?
you know thats a really good fucking question man??? i found you bleeding out next to some feral cat and there was all this gross ass like pus?? on you it was nasty
shit, sorry. ive been hella stressed. how are you feeling?
Like shit. Here I thought I was being a Good Samaritan but no all I get is attacked for my efforts. Am I dying? No, you know what? don’t answer that. You’re stressed? Talk to me man. Maybe we can figure this out.
well i was mostly stressed about finding you on death's door but unless i somehow also died you are most definitely alive. i think
i was able to get that creepy ass cat away from you with some rank fish someone left out, i swear it looked as gross as the cat itself. weird for a grocery store to still sell stuff that looks so inedible
That’s strange. Why would a grocery store sell spoiled goods? Especially if it seems to be making cats sick and who knows what else. And this oily substance on my wounds…this fishy taste in my mouth…something is amiss. It’s giving me serous Déjà vu. I don’t know…
you slowly come to, blinking to try to clear your vision, which is oddly fuzzy. you look down at your arms and legs, which are covered in scratches and bite marks -- but rather than being red, all you can see is an oily substance dripping off you. your mouth tastes kind of fishy. your stomach growls; you're hungry, but also not. @bicuriousestchris is next to you. you start to get up; you feel strong, you feel good, you -- oh. nope. you're nauseous again. gross.
jeez, what happened to you?
Indeed what the hell has happened to me?! Damn everything hurts…did that sickly cat maul me? For real? Ugh…am I diseased now? Do I have rabies?
you know thats a really good fucking question man??? i found you bleeding out next to some feral cat and there was all this gross ass like pus?? on you it was nasty
shit, sorry. ive been hella stressed. how are you feeling?
Like shit. Here I thought I was being a Good Samaritan but no all I get is attacked for my efforts. Am I dying? No, you know what? don’t answer that. You’re stressed? Talk to me man. Maybe we can figure this out.
you slowly come to, blinking to try to clear your vision, which is oddly fuzzy. you look down at your arms and legs, which are covered in scratches and bite marks -- but rather than being red, all you can see is an oily substance dripping off you. your mouth tastes kind of fishy. your stomach growls; you're hungry, but also not. @bicuriousestchris is next to you. you start to get up; you feel strong, you feel good, you -- oh. nope. you're nauseous again. gross.
jeez, what happened to you?
Indeed what the hell has happened to me?! Damn everything hurts…did that sickly cat maul me? For real? Ugh…am I diseased now? Do I have rabies?
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There is an epidemic of people pretending to be heterosexual. First Mikey, now @gayestcody... This is getting ridiculous!
That's right, SMCU-ers: You're ALL gay.
I am literally the only straight entity in this entire universe, and I do not appreciate you all trying to 'reheat my nachos', as the kids say. My culture is not your costume.
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You are on a walk. The crisp air bites at your skin as you pass through neighborhoods, skyscrapers and shops, drinking in the sights and sounds. As you approach the heart of the city, you hear a pained yelp from an alley. Two cats tussling by a large dumpster come into view, but it's more vicious than normal play wrestling. One of the cats has a large still bleeding gash across it's eye, likely the result of the other's wicked claws that continued to rip at its flank.
The cats look wrong. Sick and thin, moreso than normal stray cats. They're mangy, chunks of fur gone leaving lumpy, irritated skin in their wake. What looks like bubbles of pus littere their skin, some popped and streaking dried blood and pus through their fur. The remaining fur itself is strangely iridescent, but the way an oil spill reflects rainbows even as it suffocates the algae beneath.
Were alley cats always this vicious? You could swear that they never looked quite this bad. But still, a memory surfaces in your mind of a night at home with friends, a couple glasses of wine, and a documentary about a mangled alley cat like those in front of you being taken in by a lady who nurses it to health and it gets adopted by some family. A sort of fuzziness sets in on the edges of your consciousness, and you can't really bring yourself to be scared because they're just alley cats, after all. The fight finally ceases, the injured cat limping away while the victor collects its spoils: an open can of sardines sitting nearby, the brand barely concealed by the lid. The cat digs in, chowing down on a sardine that looks half rotted and wrong too, but do sardines ever look appetizing? The injured cat approaches you, and god it looks starving, it's ribs jut so far out you'd think they were only decorations. The poor creature lets out a pitiful mewl that sounds like some sort of guttural shriek, but that's just what cats sound like, right? The fuzziness feels more intense, and hey youre pretty sure you have a leftover sandwich in your bag.
What do you do?
I kneel down, this fog in my mind spurring me on. Poor thing, cut up and sickly looking. Surely I’d receive good karma from helping the animal out. What’s the worst that can happen? The city is littered with strays so hey just another day huh? I reach inside my bag for the leftover sandwich tearing off a small piece to offer the starving cat. The animal closes in taking a nibble of the bread. I watch with a heavy gaze of focused attention.
