A Thing I'm Doing Now

Oh great, it’s another hack of lasers and feelings. I gotta read that ttrpg at some point actually, maybe I won’t also dislike this one. This one is a simple premise. Nikola Tesla has been kidnapped. So. You gotta find him.

Who Kidnapped Nikola Tesla makes me feel like I’ve already seen everything indie RPGs can do and I’ve only read 20 (really more like 35 if you count my personal endeavors but I digress).

WKNT is a funky little hack of Lasers and Feelings that centers around the kidnapping of Nikola Tesla. Your character is being sent by the Brits to find him. It’s winter 1940. There’s only so much prologue I can do.

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I say this only with the bitterness of my heart and no special dislike towards this one in particular. While I’ve never heard of this idea, and it has some really neat twists that I’ll get to in a moment, it is another wacky and zany take on TTRPGs that has the same VIBE as every wacky and zany TTRPG I’ve looked at so far.  Don’t worry. I will still be glowing, in regards to the actual content. Just know. I am hiding a great irritation with the standard levels of wackadoodle.

Alright so look, this premise is really awesome, outside of that feeling. It’s cool, and you actually alter both the reason for his kidnapping and a fun twist on the situation with a die roll (as the GM). It’s awesome. It’s especially awesome because it can be anything from Nazis (expected) to Cultists (completely different situation) to the FRENCH? (who are getting him to build them munitions to take back France, in one of the “justified” reasons for kidnapping. Only in quotes because they still call it kidnapping).  This is fresh and exciting! It’s not only a neat premise in isolation, buta  shifting premise that is always at least a mild mystery to the players. It’s an excellent bit of execution.

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐

You have a stat array, of sorts, with sliders. Everything is a trade-off. You’re good at “Weird” or “Science,” but not both, and then two other sets of those. The docked points stem from “Weird” and “Intrigue” being odd, unexplained choices for stats. Weird is, I assume, supernatural, given its dichotomy with science, but Intrigue is posed against Investigation, and I do not feel as though that clarifies anything. The other star is because I intrinsically feel sort of middling about the rolling success system, it’s a slightly less intuitive roll-under system and I don’t value the stat trade-off as realistic or interesting, just a bit irritating. Also combat rules are lite at best, which isn’t horrible, just not great.

Replayability… and Variability: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I might end up lumping these together in the future, honestly, but they’re very much tied together here, for sure. That’s because the replayability comes from the variance! While I don’t think this system is particularly good at being replayable, I think that the way they handle variance through dramatically changing the circumstance, thus also ensuring there’s a constant mystery, is just perfect to encourage people to go through additional runs. 

Character Creation: ⭐⭐

The only weak point. The stats feel underwhelming, you roll for a “character quirk,” you get a “Dieselpunk weapon,” and idk that’s like it. It’s not impressive. As always, bad character creation is actually the most excusable, since with some extra effort on the players part you can get good characters anyway. But uh. Yeah.

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

My earlier tirade has largely worn off as I’ve written this review. I really appreciate what WKNT offers, and that it is doing fun things and such,  and that it’s NAME YOUR OWN PRICE EVERBODY NAME YOUR OWN PRICE

Check it out or something, for sure.

The Sizzle is a pretty decent “pre-baked” ttrpg, made for a jam, with the intent to expand it out to greater things. Not finished, but playable, according to the rulebook. I will say, as an incredibly positive note, this could be a finished one and it’d fit in alongside some of the better ones we’ve looked at. I will be reviewing it as a finished one, since these are the complete rules currently published, but note that this is effectively a starting point for the rating, with real potential to go up!

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐

I mean, hey, look, I have in fact seen TTRPGs do stuff like this, and this one in particular is not bringing the most new ideas into the mix. It feels very fallout adjacent, and mutating due to UV rays is a somewhat generalizable idea. Nothing it does makes me feel like it’s brand new, but it’s a nice take on a familiar concept, so I’d put it around 3.

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐

So, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that this has a pretty intuitive system. You always roll 2d6, one “positive” dice for you and one “negative” for the opponents, adding your relevant modifiers, and if you roll higher than your opposition, you win. The combat system is intuitive, with the BEST initiative system I’ve ever seen. Initiative is based on the combat circumstance and relevant skills. The example given is in an ambush, the stealthiest would go first, trailing down that list until you get to the least stealthy. I have some questions about that in practice, but none in theory, it’s tight. The damage system is taking stress and injuries (here written as consequences), which is always one I liked a bit more than straight HP. Some downsides though, are in the stress system and, as usual, the mutations. The stress system mentions it can be mental damage, like getting through a hard conversation, but I found that to be unexplained, compared to clear-cut combat differentiations. You can probably reason it out, but it’s less precise than I would hope. The mutations are intended to be super open-ended, placing them into five categories that may as well be cosmetic, and with the ability to chain them to get “stunts” which are entirely decided by the GM (here The Hot One, but I’m gonna stick with GM). The author does not want to outline a “mutation economy,” which is fair, but I think underwhelming. TTRPGs are all about trying to solidify the world of fantasy into more mechanically interesting formats, and this one just feels like it’s… undercooked. I’m worried this, of all things, will be left open and directionless rather than refined and nuanced. A great example of how to do open-ended up still mechanically interesting mutations might stem from Mutants and Masterminds (which has an incredible power system in almost every iteration, to my knowledge) – and I would love to see this game steer in that direction (not exactly, but you catch my drift). 

Replayability: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Despite being pre-baked, and seemingly more one-shot focused, with a vague world as of yet, I wanna give it a ⅘. I think that it could very reasonably be used as the skeleton of a long campaign, and will award that 5th star inevitably when all the lore pieces fall into place and give the DMs some real meat to work with. As it stands though I think its (relative) lack of originality is actually a boon, there’s so much source material to draw inspiration from (like how DND can stem from Tolkien, or Arthurian Legend, or [as a separate thought, unrelated to literature] really any mythos of the older world, depending on how you wanna flavor it). Anything apocalyptic could be the basis for Sizzle, so long as it retains some sun flavor. 

Variability: ⭐⭐⭐

It only has a three because it’s pre-baked. This could be higher or lower in the final. Right now I think you could do a lot of different things with it, but as it doesn’t lend itself to any themes particularly well (though the book is written in a light, “cool” tone), it feels like a jack of all trades master of none, but like… if that jack was also not averaging a 6/10 but a 5/10. It doesn’t have its own setting yet, so it works for kind of whatever, and does fine in whatever. This is the only category I will be fully lenient on it being an early version of, because I do think you CANNOT make a judgement call on something this UNintentionally open-ended. If it IS intentionally open-ended, that will be reflected in the final project, and it’ll probably be a 4 star from me, I’m leaving it here for now. Maybe I should’ve gone for a question mark, but eh.

Character Creation: ⭐⭐

I mean with my complaints about the mutation you probably saw this coming. Generally lower. I like how Traits, like “all brawns, no brains,” become mechanically impactful, but other than that it’s just stat distribution and empty mutations, and without a world you can’t give them meaningful stories (not in a way that ONLY this system can provide anyway)

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐ I like The Sizzle. It’s the hot new thing on the block – er, well, strictly speaking it’s a year old, I hope there’s more updates on it, none as of this year. I’ll be looking at this one closely, I think it’s got real promise, especially since I’d be giving it a 3.5/5 if I was a coward (I’m not). The Sizzle is name your own price on itch.io. Go check it out, highly recommend.

This is like, really alright. Maybe the most alright one I’ve read so far. And just to be clear, I don’t mean alright as in best, I mean this is the most 8/10 one I’ve read. Not outstanding, but incredibly solid. Let’s talk about it.

Unburied is a post-apocalypse TTRPG that takes place after the Unburial, when the dead spontaneously emerged from their graves. There are four different types of undead, those being Ashes (clouds of dust, like those cremated), Cadavers (more traditional zombies and skeletons), Rots (living embodiments of putrefaction) and spirits (operating through possession usually). The game is really about living in the apocalypse, having rules for a traditional GM and player dynamic as well as solo-play. 

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

So, this one  might be a zombie apocalypse TTRPG, but the four different types of undead, and them ALL being completely unkillable (they’re unkillable btw) makes them feel new and interesting. I think maybe I’m scoring them a little high, but honestly it’s just a fresh take on an old concept with very thoughtful levels of specificity in their discussions of how the world works as a whole. 

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

These are actually pretty well done. So it works with a more standard DC system, they call it a challenge rating. If you’re doing something risky, you roll the challenge. It’s a d6, plus 1 if you’re using an area of expertise, plus 1 if you prepared, and plus 1 for each person helping. Now, the challenges range from 5 to 24. You may notice that at merely 5, even when you’re using an area of expertise and prepped, if you’re alone you’re looking at a 33% chance of failure. This, I think, is awesome. Here’s why. Firstly, it heavily motivates group tactics and teamwork, and you get some real rewards for planning. Secondly, it makes the whole thing feel pretty desperate and maybe even a little hopeless, which is great for the setting. The astute among you might notice that in a five player game (this is a five player game max) it’s still near impossible to hit the highest levels of the challenges with everyone working together. Well, you can also take a sacrifice (breaking equipment, estranging a friend, etc) to roll an extra d6. The system seems, on its face, to somewhat necessitate making semi-frequent sacrifices, which is also baller. If you aren’t prepared, or you don’t have teamwork, or if you’re just unlucky, you will be making sacrifices just to succeed. And that’s awesome. This is a really cool way of incorporating the tone into the rolls. The point off actually comes from a general failure to address stuff like injury, which I feel is pretty important in the context of an apocalypse. People are probably gonna get hurt, and that probably should have mechanical impact, so… But other than what’s been omitted, everything here is great.

Post-Script: Hey, I forgot to mention this, and I’m not gonna lower the score, but the solo play rules are only okay. There’s a small handful of prompts, with no tips for setting Challenges (something the game lacks generally, now that I’ve noticed), and I think that it doesn’t really work. They feel tacked on, being present on the last page and not discussed in enough depth for my cuppa.

Replayability: ⭐⭐⭐

I could see this being a longer campaign, given that even just inside of the game itself it has really rich things to look into. What caused the Unburial? Will the players defend this settlement? Do they have loved ones to find? While this, in rules as written, is a singular goal, I don’t see why you wouldn’t move to the next goal after one or the other. The downside is, well, it doesn’t have any progression. I think that’s alright, not the worst for sure, but between that and the simple (even if pleasantly fitting for the theme) mechanics,  it’s enough for me to bump it down from 4 to 3 stars. 

Variability: ⭐⭐⭐

It’s got good variance within the system. Like sure, it’s always kind of going to be the same tone, but you can do a couple different things in that realm. If nothing else there’s a lot of differences depending on the type of undead that you have to fight, and it seems like the game promotes fighting one specific type at a time. Which is good! It’s neat, it works, makes things feel different each time.

Character Creation: ⭐⭐

The real Achilles Heel of this game. It has character creation, based on how you survived the Unburial, which gives you one specialty. It also asks you to come up with occupation, age, gender, etc, all very good stuff, all very necessary, but there’s not much in the way of mechanical creation. Usually I’ve complained about too many mechanics and not enough characterization, but this time I think that the characters have too little guidance in terms of fitting them into the world of Unburied itself. It is serviceable, to be sure, another 2.5 star situation, but it’s what Unburied is the worst at. And if your weak point is “it’s okay,” you’re doing something right.

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I really like this one. It’s simple, sweet, mechanically interesting and coherent, and it’s got some stuff I haven’t seen before in the sacrifice system. I do think it has weak points in character creation and solo rules, but those are really more nitpicks than anything else. Unburied is normally 10 dollars, but is 50% off for the next week or so. I think this one’s worth your time if you have any interest in the realm of the undead. 

Mutant Mixology is an anti-capitalist TTRPG where you play as a mutant that has gained powers by drinking soda poisoned with like - radiation or something. Also mutants are called mutts, which I wanna give credit to. It’s great for theming. Mutant has become such a relative neutral term thanks to its exposure, but mutt carries pretty heavy negative connotations, which works for playing the underdogs hated by society.

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This gets five stars because it’s all the best of a bunch of ideas. The soda is what makes you mutate, which is a point. It’s about saving a beach, which is a point. It’s anti-capitalism, which is a slight twist on the mutants as social commentary genre. I haven’t seen one that’s super explicitly (and specifically) anti-capitalism, usually it’s hitting at social issues rather than economic/systemic ones, but maybe I just need to read more. Either way, it gets five stars, those points will make up for its later lack of variability.

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐

The mechanics work just fine, you roll a certain number of die to interact with the “values” present in the scene. Primary values are your main objective, like a volleyball investor game, and secondary ones give you bonuses for the rest of the scene if you lower them to 0, like changing the DJ to “unapproved tunes.” You have 6 stamina, corpos try to lower your stamina and keep the value scores up, etcetera. You get to go through “tempo,” which is like initiative if it was awesome. You pick the next person to go, if you pick an ally they get a bonus, no repeats (so you have to get through everyone once, can’t just switch back and forth between 2-3 allies, enemies MUST go before someone goes twice in a scene). They are pretty nifty, but they lack a lot of flair. There are sodas that give you specific mutations, and those mutations, mechanically, do nothing, at all, which is super disappointing, they don’t even interact with stats. You could homebrew that, but as a reminder, this is reviewing rules as written.

Replayability: ⭐⭐⭐ I could see this being a little campaign deal. I think it struggles to provide a system that has enough meat on its bones to provide a compelling campaign, and that it works best as a relatively brief series of games rather than one that lasts ages. I also don’t think the mechanics provide enough variance or strategic value to really encourage creative problem solving, and they don’t have mechanical depth to encourage strategizing, so it seems like the scenes would be bland after a while. There are also no official rules around stuff like downtime, which sucks, I always like hearing more about what characters “should” be doing in their offtime, or between missions, or even how they find out about their missions in the first place. For something with a pretty specific setting, it can be weirdly nondescript.

Variability: ⭐ 

I mean. It’s hyper specific. Again, not a bad thing, just notable.

Character Creation: ⭐

Now, this is a really low score, and one might wonder why. The reason stems, in large part, from the fact that your characters consist primarily of 3 stats (fine) and 6 energy. Every character has six energy. I love systems that enable you to express traits about a character in their stats, and this one lacks that, just being 3 stats since the 6 is generic (and also doesn’t change, there’s not like levels or anything, so I’m not even sure how you would increase difficulty, that’s more marks off replayability). The soda is a neat concept, but without proper execution, it’s not really sticking the landing.

Overall: ⭐⭐

This is another 2.5 stars if I was a coward, but I deal in whole stars here, and if push comes to shove I will round down. I really like the ideas at play in this system, but they’re expressed in ways that feel less thoughtful than I would hope. Less intentional than I would hope. Tempo is cool, but is it something that works specifically in Mutant Mixology? The soda’s neat, but do mutations even matter if they don’t come up in scenes (mechanically)?

Mutant Mixology is free, and prides itself on being pick-up and play. To that end, it succeeds immensely. Despite the rating, know that I really like this one, and would recommend you pick it up at some point. With a little homebrew I think it could even jump all the way to a 4 star system, so… check it out.

Oh no.

It’s not very good. I can't give it a glowing review.

Guy Fieri’s Bisexuals is a cooking show a la Hell’s Kitchen, but with less shouting and more GAY! It’s adorable, in concept, consists of three phases: cooking, dating, and judging. All players are monsters, with Fieri as the token human. Which is awesome. Unfortunately, as it stands, it needs more time in the oven.

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Listen, for a concept like this, I’d be cruel to not give it the highest possible rating. Guy Fieri in a proper cooking show is cool, I like the fantasy twist, it’s beautiful. Unfortunately…

Mechanics:⭐

I am going to just post the full statement below. The document says its free for commercial use (and I’m not even making money off of this), and most of it’s on the game page anyway. Let me put it simply: The mechanics DON’T WORK. It’s a roll over system with stat numbers that, as written, mean you NEVER FAIL EVER, because you have to roll over your stat number (of 1-6), and you also add that stat number to your roll, meaning if you have a 1, you can ALWAYS ROLL OVER because if you roll a 1, and add 1, that’s two, so you win, congratulations. Not only that, you only get six points to distribute among the four stats, which means even if the system worked, you’d be bad at everything. 

Replayability: ⭐⭐⭐

I could see doing this a few times, probably, I think it’s reasonable to want to play it again, maybe with different groups of friends, though honestly I could see myself playing with the same friend group a few go-rounds. It’s good, replayable, not infinitely, but for sure.

Variability: ⭐⭐

So technically you can select different dating activities, and do different meals, and whatnot. Within the system and its provided lists, there’s only six, so you’d have to get creative, and it’s a very clear tone and style of game every time. I have come to realize that less variability, though, is not strictly good or bad, just worth noting.

Character Creation: ⭐⭐⭐

You pick pronouns, the monster you are, and a goal, and some skills, assign some stats, it’s good. Not immaculate, not anything inspiring, but it works, and the goal ensures you have some meat on their proverbial bones (since you might end up being a literal shadow, thus lacking literal bones).

Overall: ⭐⭐

It’s bloody raw!

Guy Fieri’s Bisexuals is a cute game that has all of the ingredients for success, but has assembled them in a way that makes it completely unplayable as of present. I would love to see something in this style that works a bit more, or explores the concepts more deeply.

GFB is name your own price on itch. Check it out, if only to mourn how close to being good it is.

Remember Under the Willow, or Willow, as I will be shorthanding it, is about a date. Just the one. One date to under a willow tree. Yep. This isn’t going to be a glowing review. You roll a dice to determine how your character feels about the memory, roll dice to determine various things, and that’s it, about it anyway.

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐ I’ve never… quite seen it done this way. Through a memory, and with an emphasis on the tree. It’s nifty.

Mechanics: ⭐

I mean you just roll a d6. That’s it. It doesn’t feel remotely like it pulls forth the idea of the themes it wants to explore. It’s more like a writing prompt than a game, except it’s also not an especially strong writing prompt.

Replayability: ⭐

I just couldn’t see doing it more than once.

Variability: ⭐

It’s the willow tree every time.

Character Creation:⭐

Has nothing for it.

Overall: ⭐⭐

I dunno man. It’s worth playing once. It’s a duo RPG. Go play it with someone you wanna date. Date them in the game. Swoon em. Something like that. I, for one, am not overly enthused. It was for a jam, which probably explains it at least partially. I am unwilling to give it one star because it's still neat, I don't actively hate it, and it's got some nice, calming vibes that I haven't gotten to talk about much. It's a very lax TTRPG, great for something to take your mind off some stress and be sentimental.

It is name your own price, and very nicely styled (the rules look good), so I dunno, give it a go. It’s short if nothing else.

This one’s awesome.

Clown Around is about getting to the top of a comically large business building and telling a CEO to leave your circus alone.

You play with a bunch of other clowns, have a clown specialty, the stats are related to clowns, you get items, and it’s a simple D6 system.

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I mean yeah clowns are popular but did you make a clown TTRPG? Statistically unlikely.

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Are they the best I’ve ever seen? Not… really. The rolls are a d6, with a 1-2 being a fail, 3-4 being a mixed bag, 5-6 being a real success. The way in which you use each of the four stats (hand tricks, pantomime, japery, and Tumbling) is like, mostly clear, but a little more grey. It’s super simple, but it works for the tone, and the real reason it has four (nearly five) stars is because they so clearly mesh into the theme. It doesn’t feel like a new coat of paint over something already existing, it’s building out a new, lighthearted game, and it’s just a very charming usage of the dice and the items and everything. Also, repeated failure is punished by becoming a sad clown. In practice this sucks, but it’s a cool idea. And if you’re too violent you become a scary clown. I like this. Neat way to tunnel the players into a course of action while feeling thematically appropriate and not forced.

Replayability: ⭐⭐

Oof, sorry. Yeah, I mean. I’ll talk more in variability but it’s kind of gonna be the same thing every time, can’t imagine doing it a whole lot, it’s very clearly just the one thing. It’s the coolest one-shot, but uh, just a one-shot.

Variability: ⭐

Sorry. I mean it’s hyper specific. We’ll get back to the good stuff I promise. This RPG gives you the WHOLE premise for the thing, though, it’s module-like in structure narratively. That’s fine! I still have good thoughts on it, but it’s very niche. Theoretically you could homebrew it to be something else, but that’s outside this one.

Character Creation:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

You pick a class, but it’s a type of clown. Rodeo, Circus, Mime, or Harlequin. Isn’t that AWESOME? Also, you get to pick a personal bonus and some items, and that’s cool. I dunno man I love it, it feels great, maybe they should’ve emphasized some more about design or something, I just can’t bring myself to whine about its flaws.

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is legitimately a great one-time game to play. Sure, it’s probably one-time, and you won’t be telling deep stories or writing epics with it, but it’s fun, it bleeds charm, and I think it’s worth looking at. While its simplicity is a great strength, its relative lack of mechanical depth and hyper specific setting and tone hold it back from being literally perfect. Right now though, I might even still argue it’s perfect for what it is. The Sad Clown does kinda suck, since if you get unlucky you just lose your specialty bonus, but hey. What can you do? We can’t all be Lost Among the Starlit Wreckage.

Clown Around! Is name your own price on itch. Go buy it. This stuff rocks.

I mean it is what it says on the tin.

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I haven’t heard those four words in this order before.

Mechanics: ⭐⭐

So, here are the mechanics. Five stats, new variations of them, you assign a dice to each, from d4 to d12, DM sets Target Numbers (TNs) that are effectively numbers you have to hit to succeed. Combat is based on strength in numbers. Dice explode (you roll an additional die on crits). So why is it so low? It’s flavorless. It doesn’t make me feel like I’m in a soup kitchen. The TNs feel worse than just a roll-under mechanic, for instance. The section on GM dice is really losing them a lot of points. In a game with so few and so little in the way of mechanical nuance, having a bad spot can be a death knell. In it, the NPCs are expected to roll dice representative of their strength. Including the idea that a mayor (presumably a major obstacle) should roll a d20. The problem is that higher dice doesn’t mean better, just more variance. Like yeah, on average it might be better, but it’s one dice, you aren’t getting the average. Strong opponents (mentally or physically) should be rolling multiple dice, or the game should’ve committed to not having NPCs roll dice and stuck with TNs exclusively. 

Replayability: ⭐⭐⭐

I could see this lasting a while. It’s a neat system, super straightforward, and if you like it, you could play a fun, modern, anarchist-based game for a while. I don’t think any part of it makes it intrinsically bad for that, if anything the simple shell makes it ideal.

Variability: ⭐⭐⭐

So. The mechanics, purely, are not locked into the genre. But let’s assume that we are stuck within the genre. There’s plenty of things to change inside the small realm of social justice radicalism. Yeah!

Character Creation: ⭐

There’s only one line for it smh. They use the word “etc” in it. This is the only major L.

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

I mean it is borrowing mechanics from other RPGs, but I think that’s understandable, no shade, it borrows well. I like the emphasis on strength in numbers. I like the theme. It’s just a little flavorless for my taste. It’s a well-cooked chicken breast with salt. It’s fine. I just thought it would have more.

Punk Rock Soup Kitchen is name your own price. Check it out if you’re interested.

This game is awesome.

So Elf Named Percocet is simple. You need a medicine cabinet, an arbitrary number of dice, and some pen and paper. It is the single-greatest thing ever (not really, but I love it). The way it works is you consult one piece of medicine. This determines your name (active ingredient), a gun you have (it inflicts whatever the side effect is, i.e. extreme dizziness or lethargy that immobilizes, etc), number of bullets (doses in a 24 hour period), and how long you have left to live (how often you take a dose). Now, I might personally change some of these specifics around, but at its heart this game leads with the idea that medicine is “named after the elves that died to create them,” and takes a not-so-subtle position against humanity and industrialization. This is shown in the fact that you are, intrinsically, an ecoterrorist, that’s your goal.

Oh, hey, a little note because I didn’t actually mention it on my initial pass, this game is also a shitpost. Like it was submitted to the “2024 Shitpost TTRPG Jam” and has the description of “medicine cabinet gaming.” Now what variety of shitpost is it? The awesome kind. Yes, I am gonna take this one seriously. I love it.

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Hey. I couldn’t have come up with this. So. 

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐

So you may be asking: What is the actual gameplay like? Hilarious, is the answer. When you “do something risky,” you roll a dice (larger die for larger doses, smaller die for smaller doses), and you then hope for a big number. Big number wins, small number loses. When a scene ends, advance the clock of your death. When you die, you start narrating as the primary narrator, before that everyone just informally takes turns. Being realistic, this is incredibly vague, and while the bones are there, it’s not super clear how anything is supposed to work. This does, however, contribute to the way this entire game sorta feels like a trip, which I really think must be intentional. I know I’ve given more mechanically thoughtful games lower scores, but the straightforward nature and fast-paced game style makes it feel deserving of recognition.

Replayability: ⭐⭐⭐

I wish I could give it more, but this is definitely a once-in-a-while thing. It’s not intended for a longform campaign, given the death clock that is at most like. A day, if the medicine is very infrequent. It’s more like a quick pick-up game than a drawn out one, and I couldn’t see doing this super often even then. 

Variability: ⭐⭐ NOOOO THESE SCORES ARE SO LOW NOT MY GOAT.

It railroads your goal and character creation, so you can’t change it up much. You could change the aspects of industrial society you try to destroy, maybe, but overall I think it strikes me as a slight variance. This game is always gonna occupy the same themes and feelings and there’s not too much wiggle room.

Character Creation: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I refuse to give it any less, legitimately inspired character creation. Basing so much on one medicine and extrapolating out all these bits and pieces is just awesome. It makes me feel like I should give it a go, even just for my own personal writing. I dunno, I kinda love it.

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Elf Named Percocet may be a little incoherent and concerningly specific, but the niche it is occupying is one that it fills with gusto and power. Something about it just carries a lot of weight, the themes it’s discussing are interesting, the way it handles them confronts it directly, unflinchingly, I mean the words “Fascists fuck off and die” are written at the bottom of the page and honestly this whole thing just bleeds moxie. I know it's a joke in some sense, but this appeals to me spiritually, and I'd feel disingenuous if I didn't acknowledge that. This game fucks, I don't even care about authorial intent.

Elf Named Percocet is free on Itch. Please. It’s a one-pager. Please look at it. This is easily one of the gems in this list.

Quarters and Crushes is a one-page TTRPG that centers around the 80s, specifically an arcade, and specifically romance, hence, Quarters and Crushes. This game - this game sure exists. So, the idea is that you create a character, and then you exist within an arcade, and that’s it. That’s the whole system. It uses a simple straightforward d6 resolution system. I dunno.

Originality: ⭐⭐

I’ve never seen a TTRPG do it, but I think that’s for good reason, and reading over this one did not change my overall impression of it. It’s taking the bare minimum from its concept and applying them to some dice rolls. I can think of few things more played out than the 80s in popular culture, but if I could, an arcade in the 80s would be up there.

Mechanics: ⭐⭐

Alright, listen. The mechanics of this game are a d6 resolution system. You roll an amount of die that starts at one, goes up if you have help or if you’re prepared/good at the thing. You pass by rolling above or under your number, your number being anything from 2-5. If you’re quarters-ing, you wanna roll below, and if you’re crush-ing, you wanna roll above. I like this. It’s super simple, very straightforward, but effective. This is also EVERYTHING the mechanics cover. There’s not much in the way of mechanics. It’s sorta just. Nothing. I like what’s here, but it’s very little, and it doesn’t make me feel like a teenager in the 80s.

Replayability: ⭐⭐

I just can’t see a longform game of this.

Variability: ⭐⭐

It’s really specific. Technically you can change the “problem” of the arcade, but it’s still a pretty narrow lens, and I don’t think there’s a lot of wiggle room in this one.

Character Creation: ⭐⭐

You choose a style, an accessory, a number, age, and character goal. There’s not a lot here, with only one mechanical implication in the “number.” But also, that’s not a lot. I just feel like this is something where the player has to do most of the heavy lifting if the characters are going to be interesting. 

Overall: ⭐⭐

It’s fine. It’s a one-pager. It has a somewhat played-out aesthetic, nothing super interesting. It’s name your own though, so if you think that you wanna be a teen in the 80s, go for it.

Okay it didn’t hold my attention. What, you want me to lie to you? It was 70 pages of radical sk8r bits. “Sk8r energy” is actually a great way to describe this entire thing. It really does feel like it’s channeling stereotypical skater vibes. Not a diss. Just an observation. Pipe Dreams is Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, but as a TTRPG. You make a skater and you skate. You get it.

Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Normally this would fall under “thing that is based on something but I’ve never seen a TTRPG do it” at four stars, but like. It’s skating. I wouldn’t have imagined it was possible. They can have this one.

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Taking from Ironsworn, the game uses challenge die and trick die (your die) and you compare the two to see if you succeed at the trick. There's no specific dm, only the scorekeeper role which gets passed around for narration and keeping score from tricks. Tricks have scripted difficulties, earn you a specific amount of points, and there are combo multipliers. You also get hurt, and there’s an injury compendium with various impacts. There’s a progression clock system. All in all it’s really well done. What I understand of it looks really good. I’m not in love with some of the mechanics to do with characters, but I’ll get into that with the later section.

Replayability:⭐⭐⭐

Because this game is meant to be played as a quick, arcade-action style thing, I wanted to give it five stars. However, I can’t do that. Why? Because I’ve played TTRPGs. There will be the obligatory rules argument, there will be people that don’t understand or that need help or that are just Being Evil. This rating stems not from the intended playstyle, which would give it a five, but a pessimistic take on how the game might actually play out. I am not super trusting in “quick” TTRPGs, not due to them, but due to the nature of those playing them.

Variability: ⭐

This is fine. I would normally harp on this but like, it’s a skating game. It’s exactly what you want if you’re playing a skating game.

Character Creation: ⭐⭐⭐

I feel like you make a spreadsheet more than a character. That’s one thing about this system, it does feel like an arcade game. That’s fine, don’t get me wrong, and if you like that concept it does that very well. But you don’t create a character, or a narrative, you make a skater to do the skating tricks and get a higher number. It encourages, implicitly, a minmax style of gameplay, due to being competitive, while lacking enough variance to make that feel super viable. Whether that’s good or bad is up to you, I just think having three “styles” and stats plus a list of tricks only allows for so many different builds. At some point something is just the “correct” build, no? Perhaps not, but it strikes me that way.

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Pipe Dreams is a TTRPG in the sense that older video games are RPGs, broadly. You don’t make a character, you optimize numbers, and those numbers fulfill a role. To be clear I love stuff like Final Fantasy or Fire Emblem, which I would describe as stat optimizing simulators in their earlier games. This is fine, if that’s what you want, I am not personally enthused about a TTRPG that plays like an arcade game. This is, though, very much intentional. The authors knew what they were doing and they knocked it out of the park.

Pipe Dreams is like 10 bucks on itch. If anything I’ve said has been interesting, pick it up. It’s, as seems to be the case for so many of these, not to my personal taste. But the game has an excellent, well-defined identity, and is doing some super unique stuff with its style and gameplay loop. I would highly recommend if you do, indeed, want to do sick tricks (by rolling copious amounts of dice).

What if DND was more problematic than it already was.

Sorry, I have to be that one friend that’s too woke today. Mhar Fantasy is a perfect encapsulation of ye old fantasy systems, featuring casual racism (a feature DND also shared until recently) and Gender Essentialism (that one’s fun).

Look. If you’ve played DND, you know this one. It’s claim to fame is that it is more inspired by political and relational motives rather than “high fantasy.” It’s not some “hollywood B-movie,” it’s taking notes from “Arthurian legend” instead. Which just seems- I mean. I like B-movies. I love them, in fact. So. 

Originality: ⭐

If your main points of comparison are DND and the legends of Camelot, you are not doing anything I need to know about.

Mechanics: ⭐⭐⭐

Now you might think I’m being too mean to this game. I will take this section to explain, in part, why I am not being too mean, because there are MECHANICS that correlate to some of the things I’m being mean about. For starters, a positive. This uses a roll-under-system, the combat is intended to be lethal, I actually would steal these mechanics rather than play 5e combat. They have parries! They do overcomplicate things in ways I think could be simplified but overall combat seems super engaging and I dig it. That’s about all I dig.

Now let me give you some hits from the mechanics I don’t like.

You have to gender your character, with an implied male-female dichotomy.

The above is a perk.

This counts as a mechanic, it’s in a stat block. They don’t even let the demons be gay, can you believe that.

Replayability: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Yes, you could play a campaign with this.

Variability: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I mean it’s pretty locked in against violence and high fantasy shenanigans, but it’s got variance within the actual theming, especially with the world lore that it dumps across some several dozen pages between the two books.

Character Creation: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ There’s a lot of neat systems in here, actually. I would recommend glancing at it. I won’t even remove  a point for gender since I already covered that. Oh, wait, you guys don’t own it and it costs money, so... I should give an overview of what I like, huh? Er. Uh. It’s got archetypes instead of classes, so there’s nuance within each “class,” it’s got interesting takes on the way you go about buying things via an initial point system, it has flaws as a game mechanic and talents, too. It’s got a lot going for it. I should also really take a point off for race. Trust me. The races kind of suck. There’s goblins, and the goblins are warlike and “naturally aggressive,” and treat women like “chattel.” And then the cat people have a vaguely buddhist religion, with the “Seven Paths of Truth.” And shamans are exoticized and belong as a religion to goblins. And Christianity is also here, and THAT belongs to humans, of course. 

Overall: ⭐⭐

I just don’t feel like being charitable today. This one has cool mechanics to some degree but is so snooze-inducingly long (I’ve expressed my preference for light rules, but if you like it, this one does have some meat), filled with lore that makes my eyebrows raise progressively higher, and just bringing nothing interesting to the table in any way other than applying mechanics in a SOMEWHAT new way. I should be clear, roll–under is not a new concept. Neither is parrying. I just like the way they did it. What I don’t like is just how… generic and… “normal,” it is. Does that make sense? TTRPGs are for nerds, but this bundle I expected a certain kind of nerd appeal, as well. I mean, it’s for the queers (me), so, like… come on. But this contains all the regular implicit biases and lack of scrutiny of itself and the inspiration its drawing on that I would expect rrom a generic TTRPG. It’s accidentally built a setting where despite the fact that it wants to create a “morally grey” scenario, it still has, in lore, extreme differences that are biologically programmed into each group, as well as SEVERE gender essentialism which really bothers me for obvious reasons.

If you are not That One Friend Who is Too Woke, give it a read. It’s not a bad system. If you wish DND was (mechanically) good, then scrap as much of this one for parts as you want. If you’re looking for something even slightly new, you can skip this one.