dear wake

I’d look awesome in a Scream mask, right?

WE’RE GAY.

I think my cousin @lacklands​ deserves some of the holiday joy! Perhaps with @ellecharming​? Charming by name and Charming by nature, she’s a breath of fresh air who also just so happens to be in the drama club with him. A showmance could be fun for everyone involved.

WRONG COUSIN, BRO! I’m never gonna let Andy Kate die! @marykatehood and @andreatriton for the win!

Hello, thank you for asking! That seems like quite the situation to be stuck in, anonymous. I think you’re asking the wrong questions, though. It’s not if you should stop hooking up with other people, it’s if you want to stop hooking up with other people. Because if you want to stop hooking up with other people because of this person, perhaps you should do something about this ‘not really being a thing’ thing. That’s just my take, though! I love love.

Bro, yes. Stop hooking up with other people, you’re definitely sending the wrong message there. If you’re like, leaving to go and bone someone else, your person’s never gonna figure out that you’d really rather be boning them. 

That’s such a good question! Honestly, Anon, whoever your future bae is shouldn’t care so much about what you look like in a bathing suit. That’s so needlessly superficial. My vote goes towards wearing your favorite color, or just something that makes you feel confident like a rock star. If they don’t notice your good energy and fantastic disposition just because you’re not all skimpified up, they’re not worthy of future bae-hood anyway.

Bro! It’s summer, beach bodies abound. Totally makes sense for you to be thinking about this kinda thing when other people are letting it all hang out, but that’s exactly what you gotta do -- like, rock out with your cock out, flop out with your... whatever you say about boobs. I don’t know if Auradon’s got a nude beach but you should hit that up and show that you’re not afraid to be you, it’ll for sure work.

I hope you and your date did connect, and that you had almost as good a time there as we did. I think though, as someone who spent most of his life scared of reaching out first and seeming too thirsty, it’s a highly underrated moved. Who knows?! You reaching out might be the start of a lovely long-lasting relationship that’ll culminate in a gorgeous wedding of your own! If you feel it in your heart, it can’t hurt to try.

Define ‘connected,’ dude or dudette. Like, were you guys actually vibing or was it just like, a case of a wedding making you horny on main? Maybe you should manage your expectations and just hang out until king’s day and see if they wanna chill again then? Or even better, wait until I’m back from my honeymoon and hit me up and let me WINGMAN you. I’ll figure it out for you ASAP, I’m a love genius.