ione

(Pt. 13)

61. What makes me self-conscious around others?

⟢ Why?

62. Who dislikes me or treats me with disrespect?

⟢ How does it make me feel? ⟢ Where does this attitude / behavior come from? ⟢ Be very honest; is it deserved? Do I owe them an apology? ⟢ If I do, write a letter apologizing. ⟢ Write down 10 times: "Other people's opinions of me are none of my business".

63. What makes me feel unsafe?

⟢ Why? ⟢ Is it rational to expose myself to this in a way where I am, physically and emotionally, safe?

64. What would have made my childhood better?

⟢ How do I feel about that?

65. What one thing could somebody say to bring me to my knees?

(Pt. 12)

56. Who do I hold a grudge against?

⟢ What is stopping me from letting it go?

57. Think about a time I felt betrayed.

⟢ Have I made peace with the person involved? ⟢ Write them a letter explaining how it made me feel.

58. Think about the previous exercise. Consider when I have behaved similarly.

⟢ Has the person involved treated me as though I betrayed them? Either way, write them a letter apologizing.

59. Who have I previously made conflict and allegedly resolved it, but I remain wary of since?

⟢ How did they make me feel? ⟢ What worries me about the relationship now?

60. How do I view asking for help?

(Pt. 11)

51. What is the worst emotion someone could provoke in me? (Anger, jealousy, betrayal, etc.)

⟢ Why do I feel so strongly about this? ⟢ Does my answer differ/change according to the person in question?

52. Think about a time where I was manipulative. Explore the feeling behind the behavior- what need made I behave that way.

⟢ Have I overcome those feelings?

53. How do I feel about my childhood?

⟢ Was it generally positive or negative? ⟢ Who made me feel safe? ⟢ How let me down? ⟢ Who was I close to?

54. How does drama make me feel?

⟢ Am I dramatic, myself? ⟢ Do other people call me dramatic? How do I feel about this?

55. Which of my traits do I find it difficult to accept? Explore why this is?

(Pt. 10)

46. What situation in my life do I wish had a different outcome?

⟢ How would it have improved my life? ⟢ In what ways is your life better for it not having worked out?

47. Who do I feel inferior to?

⟢ Objectively explore whether they have intentionally made me feel this way, or if it's my own feeling of inadequacy creating that illusion. ⟢ How do I think they view and feel about me? Why?

48. Who has let me down the most in my life?

⟢ Are they still around? ⟢ How do I feel about that?

49. What's the worst character trait I have as a result of my childhood / past?

⟢ What / who do I think caused that? ⟢ How do I feel about that?

50. What are my parents' best attributes?

(Pt. 9)

41. What was my last uncharitable (unkind, unfair, overly judgmental) thought? Did I voice it?

⟢ Was it deserved? ⟢ What I being unfairly judgmental?

42. Who do I owe an apology to?

⟢ What did I do that warrants an apology?

43. Who owes me an apology?

⟢ Why? What did they do? Is it possible I misinterpreted the situation? ⟢ Write myself a letter from their perspective, explaining the reasons for their transgression, and apologizing. ⟢ Take a deep breath and, as I exhale, breathe out any resentment or hurt I've been holding onto from this.

44. What is my biggest regret in life?

⟢ How might I be able to make peace with that? Think about my circumstances at the time and give myself permission to be okay with the fact that I did my best at that time.

45. What's my worst childhood memory?

(Pt. 8)

36. What authority figures (individuals) did I respect growing up?

⟢ What qualities did/do they possess? ⟢ Do I share those traits? ⟢ How might I develop / enhance them?

37. Without thinking too deeply, what is my gut reaction to the question: "Do people respect me?"

⟢ Why do I think this is? ⟢ How do I feel about this?

38. How am I letting myself down at this time in my life?

⟢ How could I be better to myself? (Consider finances, habits, relationships, knowledge, etc.)

39. What lies have I previously told myself?

⟢ Am I being entirely truthful with myself at this time in my life?

40. When I'm alone, what does my inner voice sound like? Is it positive or negative?

(Pt. 7)

31. What are my core values?

⟢ Am I living in alignment with them? What could I change to be more in harmony with them? ⟢ Do they match those of my childhood self? ⟢ If not, why?

32. What do I wish people understood about me?

⟢ How might I be better able to demonstrate this quality that people tend to overlook?

32. Do I have the same recurring nightmares?

⟢ What is the theme? ⟢ What might it relate to? ⟢ How might I face the fear that's causing these nightmares?

33. What is the worst way I've been taken advantage of?

⟢ Think about the person who treated me that way and consider their circumstances. What do I think drove them to treat me this way?

34. Now imagine somebody is working through the previous exercise and they are picturing me.

⟢ Who is this person? ⟢ What did I do to them? ⟢ What were the circumstances at the time? ⟢ Write a brief letter to the person that explains myself and apologizes. ⟢ Have I forgiven myself? Imagine the person is writing their letter to me, and they forgive me. Take a deep breath and, as I exhale, breathe out any feelings of guilt I have been holding onto from this.

35. What is the worst thing I've ever done?

(Pt. 6)

26. With whom or in what situations do I find myself putting on a mask or embodying a different persona?

⟢ What do I think would happen if I exposed my true self? ⟢ How does that make me feel?

27. Negative traits tend to develop in childhood as a defense mechanism. They're useful at the time but we outgrow them in adulthood. What are some of my least desirable traits?

⟢ Where do these come from? ⟢ Think about their purpose and write down more positive and productive behaviors I could use instead. ⟢ Think about others I know who display these traits too, and how they make me feel. Make a promise to look past the trait to the vulnerability behind it in the future as I do not know other people's stories.

28. Think about my friendships. Who are the people closest to me?

⟢ Why did previous friendships fail? ⟢ How do I feel about it?

29. How do I typically respond to compliments?

⟢ How do I feel about my positive traits being seen, and publicly praised? ⟢ Why do I feel this way?

30. What do I most dislike about myself?

(Pt. 5)

21. What is my definition of failure?

⟢ What makes these circumstances so terrible? ⟢ Imagine myself in this situation. Write down 5 things I believe people would think about me. ⟢ Now write down 5 things I would hope people think of me.

22. Who regularly (or lastly) belittles or downplays my emotions?

⟢ How does that make me feel?

23. Think about unhealthy relationships I have or have previously had. What is the common theme?

⟢ Why do I think I find myself in this kind of dynamic? ⟢ How can I recognize and avoid allowing this type of relationship to develop?

24. What emotions tend to bring out the worst in me?

⟢ Why do I think that is?

25. When have I been self- sabotaging or self-destructive in my life?

(Pt. 4)

16. What misconceptions do people have about me?

⟢How does that make me feel?

17. What would I tell my younger self? Exercise compassion, grace, understanding, forgiveness.

⟢What advice would I give my younger self? ⟢ Why?

18. What memories bring me shame?

⟢ Consider who I was then, what led to my behavior, and how I've changed since then. ⟢ Think about my memories of shame. Close my eyes and take myself back to when I was at my worst. Relive the feelings I had at that time, breathing in deep 5 times and letting the air out slow. After 5 breaths, open my eyes and look around - notice how far I've come. ⟢ Write out the words: "I did the best I could at the time, and I forgive myself".

19. Which traits would I least want to have?

⟢ Why would those traits be so terrible? ⟢ Have I ever demonstrated these traits?

20. In what ways am I similar to my parents / childhood caregivers?

(Pt. 3)

11. Would others be more likely to describe me as confrontational, or a pushover?

⟢ How would I prefer to be viewed? ⟢ Why?

12. What is an impactful relationship I've walked away from?

⟢ Why was this a positive life choice for me?

13. How would I objectively describe myself? (Facts about myself).

⟢ How easy was this task? ⟢ Do I truly know who I am? ⟢ Do I like who I am?

14. What person has hurt me most in my life?

⟢ What would I like to say to them?

15. What most frightens me?

(Pt. 2)

6. When is the last time I felt let down?

⟢ Were these feelings truly rational, or was I triggered by something?

7. Do I have healthy boundaries in my relationships?

⟢ Is there any particular relationship that I feel could benefit from setting stronger boundaries for myself? ⟢ What is preventing me from having the courage to hold that space for myself? ⟢ Can I say, with complete confidence, that I respect the boundaries of others? ⟢If not, why?

8. What makes me feel empty?

⟢ How do I usually fill that void? ⟢ What are some healthy strategies I'd like to develop to overcome feelings of empty?

9. Who has the most influence over me?

⟢ Is that healthy?

10. Who do I envy?

(Pt.1)

What do I think are the worst traits a person can have?

⟢When have I demonstrated those traits?

2. How do I think people see me?

⟢ How would they describe me? ⟢ How would I feel about that?

3. What things trigger me?

⟢ Where do these irrational feelings stem from?

4. What is the very worst emotion to experience for me, personally? (anger, jealousy, rejection, betrayal, etc.)

⟢Why? ⟢When was the first time I felt that? Where does that come from?

5. What do I judge in others?