the moon and her stars

i have the tattoo “warr;or” on my wrist. i initially got it after thinking about it for a long time because i didn’t think i was worthy enough to get something like that. i’m weak and i cut and i think about killing myself all the time and so i didn’t know if i was allowed to get it, but one day i was on the train and i said you know what? fuck it. i deserve this tattoo as much as anyone else. i’m struggling but i’m still here and i’m strong and deserve something like this and so i got it. i loved it so much when i got it and i was so happy, and for once i really believed i could do this but i just can’t. i’m not strong enough. i’m not brave enough. i hate having it here now bc it just reminds me how unfit i am for it. i don’t deserve this tattoo and it being there now just reminds me that i don’t.