d o d i e

dyke (self diagnosed)

I was on the subway today, and when the train got delayed, this little kid was like, “fuck,” and a literal chorus of grown-ups went: “HEY.”

let him say fuck

I was at a crossing once and a kid’s dad said ‘and we have to wait for the green man’ and the 30 people on this crossing all stood waiting for the green man just to prove to this kid that that’s what you do. I’ve never seen anyone wait for the green man on this crossing before you just go when its clear. But Everyone Waited. 

Corollary to “it takes a village” is that you’re gonna get a village whether you ask for it or not.

I’ll sometimes take a chance at pedestrian crossings if the road is clear, but am physically incapable of doing so if a child is waiting to cross too, even if the road is empty for a mile in either direction.

OH THIS IS A MOOD

I do not want to be the goon responsible for a little kid rushing out into moving traffic just because they saw the lady in the red coat do it. Lead by example. All humans understand this and the majority follow this. Because even if they aren’t aware of it, none of them want to be the example a kid thinks of before they get themselves killed.

Let’s get this wife!

The way John Mulaney speaks is the vocalized version of When You Capitalise Every Word Like This

s/o to those friends that stick with you through your weird distant introvert/depression/anxiety mood swings y'all are the real mvp’s

I just wanna be a badass with a nice ass