She / They Lesbian 🌈 • AuDHD • ΘΔ & partially human • Ice Dragon 🐲, Timber Wolf 🐺 • Fictionkin (1/3 of me is Weiss Schnee) • RWBY (v1 - v6) + WR🌹❄️ fan • WR blog: @useless-lesbian-weiss • DNI: Minors, MAPs, Zoos, scammers • Ao3 at the end of my pinned Bio
sometimes, no one is coming to save you. there is no knight in shining armor, no white horse or mighty sword. sometimes you have to dust off the ballgown at the back of the closet, slip it on and call it your own armor.
sometimes you have to file your nails into claws sharp enough to rival the dragon’s because you don’t have a sword but you’ll be damned if you go down without a fight and you’re going to leave scars to remember you by.
sometimes the princess gets tired of waiting. sometimes the princess has to become the dragon.
— sometimes the princess learns to breathe fire // p.s.
Name's B... If we're friends, you can call me that. If not, it's Bianca / Weiss for you and everyone else. Aster (my past life wolf self) and Heart of Frost (past life ice dragon self) also work as an alternative.
If you're anti-kin or otherwise toxic, please DO NOT interact.
For the rest of my bio, "keep reading".
(If you're looking for my WR / Whiterose blog: @useless-lesbian-weiss )
---
04/04/2026 UPDATE:
In an effort to shorten this bio, I have summarized many things and provided a link to our system on Pluralkit.
⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTICE ⚠️
While my main Tumblr is centered around Otherkin / Therian content, there are also a number of old(er) posts that are more personal and emotional in nature, such as vents and past mistakes that might make some people uncomfortable.
I don't believe in crafting a perfect image of myself- and as someone who feels deeply, I prefer to keep things REAL.
The reason behind why I used to share my experiences, findings, mistakes and regrets openly, was to try to help other people heal- or help them avoid the same kind of mistakes (and save them a lot of pain as a result).
---
About me
I've fully awakened as otherkin sometime around 2020, but the signs were there since early childhood. I just didn't have a name for my experiences for a long time and didn't talk about them due to the social stigma directed at anyone claiming to have had past lives.
Personality Personalities
We are an unconventional system that occasionally merges / mixes / blurs when talking, comprised of:
- An Ice Dragon (Heart of Frost),
-
- Mainly: Autism, ADHD and SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder)
⚠️ If we ever explain to you that we unintentionally do- or cause something because of autism-related social ineptitude or OTHER DISABILITIES (both associated and not associated with our official diagnoses), it's NOT an excuse. It's an explanation.
We aim to actually learn from our mistakes so we don't step on any more toes than we already have. It doesn't help that our disabilities have also poorly mixed with- and created worse situations for ourselves whilst we still suffered from substance abuse issues, something that is still a strong point of shame for us, as we really aren't proud of—nor comfortable— talking about them and the situations that stemmed from that bad combo. With that said... (gonna stick to "I" for the sake of simplicity from hereon out)
I partially still suffer from social and situational unawareness- and used to struggle with boundaries and appropriateness. I fixed the latter two issues (for the most part) after making enough bad mistakes to haunt me for the rest of my life. As for the remainder of my social ineptitude, it comes with the "brutal and excessive honesty" package (foot in the mouth disease, anyone?).
... I am by no means perfect, so I ask of you to please NOT expect perfection from me at all times either.
Moral Compass
Trans rights are human rights- and trans women are women.
In my spare time, I'm a Digital Human Rights Advocate. F**ck OSA / KOSA, Chat Control- and generally any mass surveillance, censorship-based and otherwise invasive legislation aimed at destroying what remains of our right to privacy and the free internet. I will sink with this ship. Rise, Rebel, Resist!
Additionally, I want to make it known that I do NOT condone, nor do I forgive ANY kind of violence (including s*xual) towards any living being. The only exception here being self-defense and taking down people who promote genocide, commit heinous crimes- and actively prosecute minorities (including racial, social and disability-centric minorities). Fascists can burn in hell.
Last but not least, IMO, people with paraphilias (towards animals, children, etc.) need to be monitored, professionally treated and kept far away from the subjects of their unnatural attractions.
People who intentionally harm children disgust me. Always have, always will. I am thankfully NOT one of them- But I've suffered at the hands of such people and will go out of my way to get them removed from any platforms I frequent.
Mental & Physical Health (continued)
I suffer from:
- CPTSD (& trust issues). It's a long and hard battle to heal from both... fingers crossed that I can eventually afford a therapist to help me overcome it all.
- (suspected) Schizotypal Personality Disorder (StPD). Despite being classified as something on the schizophrenia spectrum, this disorder does NOT involve psychotic breaks or hallucinations. It just means my brain is predisposed to a peculiar way of thinking that I largely just have to consciously ignore.
- After experiencing a slew of ever-worsening, persistent symptoms / health issues (part of which I had my whole life- and had unfortunately normalized), I finally managed to submit a sample- and get genetic testing for vEDS (vascular Ehler-Danlos Syndrome) and regular EDS (date this happened on: 09/03/2026). It's 14 weeks (3 months from that date) until they will come back with the results due to public healthcare being slow AF + genetic sequencing taking time.
To give you a quick rundown, vEDS is a collagen defect that gets worse as you age (degenerative disease). There is NO CURE. It causes vascular fragility (among many other things), which makes you susceptible to internal bleeding, easy bruising and your organs shut down one by one if you somehow manage to live to- or past the age of 40. Fun purplish or red broken veins, capillaries, petichiae, super bendy joints (and bruises) showing all over your body. Oh- and lots of stretch marks for no good reason as well. Plus you get the hands of an old lady when you're not even old yet. In my case, if it turns out that I really do have it- it came in a milder form or had an atypical presentation (due to low blood pressure and my vegan diet mitigating some of the worst symptoms). It's essentially through my past addiction that I found out, due to the spike(s) in blood pressure causing me to cough up blood and feel nauseous / sick, weak and fatigued.
I have this all documented with pictures, but I only show pics of my (broken) body to people I trust... or those willing to pay to see this f*cking medical horror through my Stacked donation page further down.
If it really does turn out that I have this condition (as I'm 30 now and likely won't be around for that long) ...below you'll find some of the last things I'll leave behind.
--- Fanfic-related & Donation Links ---
My Ao3:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Stacked is a new membership platform where fans get the most out of their support for creators.
Anything donated through Stacked will go towards end of life planning and charity (namely: making sure all my mortal possessions and savings are donated once I'm no more). I'm asking for donations because solicitors / lawyers are super-expensive to hire ...even just to draft a will, and- despite getting a better paying job, I'm definitely NOT swimming in money.
PLEASE, only donate: if you are able to afford it- and ONCE I AM OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED. If this actually turns out to be something else despite me ticking many checkboxes (symptom-wise) for this condition, I would not be able to live with myself.
I will know for sure and update this post around mid-June 2026.
I also appreciate any likes / kudoses and reblogs left on my WR account (@useless-lesbian-weiss) and Ao3.
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artificer x hunter, artificerxhunter, rw hunter x artificer, hunter x artificer, rw artificer x hunter, rw arti x hunter, arti x hunter, rw arti x hunter, artihunter, rw artihunter, rw cherrybomb
Explanation Post: Link
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(Given how popular this ship is there has to be names i missed. if you know of one please tell me.)
The OG post from BlueSky is missing some punctuation due the darn platform's low character limit, but I hope it conveys what I was trying to say...
I have changed a lot over the past 6 years.
My abandonment issues and trauma had originally led me to develop a messed up, co-dependent attachment type that made me heavily rely on other people to be happy (anxious attachment, anyone...?).
Once I was able to heal (for the most part), I was just left with CPTSD and trust issues, which I'm trying to manage the best I can...
Thing is- I can be happy on my own, but I won't lie... The older I get, the more the prospect of finding someone becomes more and more hopeless...
I don't *need* a long-term romantic + sexual relationship to make my life complete... but it is still a wish I have had for a long time... To fall in love with someone who could and would love me back just as much, if not more- and now that I'm almost 100% ready to handle a healthy relationship, there's nobody there... Nobody that I would be compatible with, at least.
In terms of attachment, due to how much I was hurt by shitty people in the past, I have developed something in between the disorganized and avoidant attachment styles, leaning slightly more towards avoidant.
When you are made out to be some f**ked up monster or predatory individual by a homophobic, neurodivergentphobic environment in your teen years, then forced to relive some of that trauma via getting hurt by equally immature people in your adulthood online... I don't know. It's... I don't really have words for this type of thing. *"Shit"* doesn't even come close to describing it.
I was never given the benefit of the doubt. Not even for one second.
Deep down, I *know* I deserved better than what I was put through, but God forbid- don't ever repeat that in front of the same people who will try to deny, justify or defend the abuse they threw my way.
I have always felt like I wasn't allowed to talk about it... about how they hurt me, my feelings, my trauma- just because every time I f**ked up, it was a big enough mess that I ended up hurting the people involved too, nevermind that I never meant for any of that to happen... Add to that- that other people so readily dismiss, laugh at, mock, question or look away from anyone sharing this kind of personal stuff (anywhere- be it online or IRL) and yeah... It sucks.
I'm not wanting for anyone to heal me- or give me some messed up form of attention... nor be my unlicensed therapist.
All I ever wanted, was to be heard, understood, respected.
I want to be allowed to breathe, exist, feel- and express myself.
Nobody should have to be treated like garbage just because they function differently, yet the world we live in does this so often and normalizes absolutely abhorrent / toxic / shitty behaviors that most neurodiverse people end up traumatized, or like they have to mask on top of masking in order to stay safe.
I strongly believe that the level of superficial, brainless judgment society has degrated to- is half the reason so many people have developed anxiety disorders. Mix in the fact that people idolize fictional characters that are often depicted without any fatal or major flaws... and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster. If you're flawed, people don't spare a single second to think twice and attack you where it hurts- and it becomes hard to see the people who do that as "people" anymore. Like- cogratulations, you've turned into a sociopathic, sadistic, retarded monkey... But that would be an insult to primates. I genuinely believe some species of primates are far more peaceful and empathetic than whatever the f*ck is wrong with humans.
*sighs*
I don't mean to be mysanthropic (humanphobic). I'm just so tired of seeing so many people suck ass and being unable to admit it when you put them in front of a mirror... Of people not caring... Of people acting tough- or wanting power over others.
Why can't y'all just be better human beings instead?
What is stopping you from actually starting to give a damn?
What's so good about being so anti-social and detatched from your emotions and everyone else- that you either need substances, some other kind of addiction or superficial validation from a group of people who are just as bad as you- to feel good about yourself?!
Christ.
... I ramble and rant a lot about the stuff nobody dares to talk about, because I'm autistic- and have become a semi-detatched hermit myself, from being constantly exposed to this shit world we now inhabit.
I am only able to find peace by surrounding myself in either silence, nature, the very few friends I can trust- or other animals, because humans have fallen so far from what they see themselves as...
There is too much cognitive dissonance, too much noise, too many people with big egos and a tonne of insecurities, who are trying so hard to seem like they are something they are not... It makes me sick.
My autism and developmental delays are not an excuse. They are merely an explanation- (and) the reason I have severely fucked up some friendships, made mistakes, allowed for relationships to happen that should have never happened- all because, mixed together with (a) crappy (lack of proper) parenting / upbringing + environment, they didn't allow me to understand people as deeply and as much as I would have wanted.
Honestly... I've reached a point of oversaturation. Or maybe I have stopped trying (to understand others).
I wish there was someone who understood me... Who just got me, without me needing to overexplain everything (as I always do) due to anxiety merging with autism (and partially ADHD).
Most people don't have the attention span, the time, the energy, the emotional intelligence, or the emotional availability- and empathy to understand what I am on about half the time... and even if they do have those things, maybe they shy away from feeling emotions because they don't want to confront their own crap and demons, their own reflections, flaws, failures, mistakes, shortcomings, f**kups... you name it-
...
...
*exhales*
Everyone suffers from "main character syndrome". There is no denying that. I do as well, I'm not special in that regard... I just act while taking into account the notion that I'm not alone in that. Everyone is stuck in their own head, lives, problems...
...the only time where the switch is flipped, is either when you have hurt someone and you still deeply regret it (as guilt forces you to have thoughts of who you hurt occupy your mind against your will... whether you like it or not), or the more rare exception where you... love someone.
To those who don't know what love is or feels like- it will look like a form of madness. Something defying all logic in what they know to be the usual egoistical behavioral patterns that drive people... I'm talking about true love, the one that isn't driven by possessiveness, selfishness, toxicity, codependence/-cy or any other negative feelings.
The danger remains: when you truly love someone, you do see things through rose tinted lenses / glasses. You ignore, excuse- or brush off people's defects, bad behavior... or even abuse. Falling in love with the wrong person is one of the worst things that can ever happen to you and it's ultimately all I have ever known...
...
Now that I have come full circle and let out what is likely the result of my brain chemicals causing a low mood (due to PMS), I hope that something else can be learnt from this as well.
I hope that my feelings, life experiences and "wisdom" (if you can even call it that), aren't just a sad waste of space and time on the internet.
I want for my words to help people, but deep down I know they don't matter. I don't matter. Nothing matters.
Living with a broken heart means that you accept the meaninglessness of life, of love- of all the programming we are born with, undergo throughout our lives- and are just forced to put up with, for we don't even have any control over who we catch feelings for.
All I know is that I was never loved. Not truly...
The closest I had was a form of mortherly, unconditional love from my long since past-tense maternal gran. She was the sun in my life.
It's been an eternal night of suffering, despair and meaninglessness since her passing. I have had to be my own ray of sunshine- and I barely feel like I'm a firefly at this point.
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Therefore, I resort to the only drug and coping mechanism I have left:
Maladaptive Daydreaming™
(Triggered via music, namely, the playlist I created to map out my brain through emotions, memories... and so much more. The only thing allowing be to break through reality)
What if really seeing the universe for what it is, is what causes insanity? What if insanity becomes the highest form of clarity? Seeing how everything and everyone is programmed and stuck to be puppeted by their essence, personalities, imprinting, DNA, behavioral patterns and fate?
...
What if I became so terrifyingly good at seeing through people- and now, reality itself- what if I reverse-engineered it to the point I could make someone drop dead by merely whispering a few words in their ear...? Weaponizing the butterly effect and deploying it to its most lethal, extreme iteration...?
No. I'm not talking about playing 5D chess... More like 13D. Mastering all 13 Dimentions and layers making up the very quantum space-time continuum we inhabit. Can you imagine the horrors of displaying levels of power of that magnitude? What would happen if it ended up in the wrong hands, of someone so fed up with how things are that they'd use it to reshape everything we know...?
...
I started by eating The Apathy for breakfast... Now I've swallowed Salem whole... and I'm coming for the Gods too.
I am not going to stop until I have surpassed everything that has been instrumentalized via karma to torture me and everyone else living in this hell we call life.
If I can help it, I'll rebuild everything from the ground up- and this time, there will be a lot less needless suffering.
[merely wanting to turn down the difficulty from hardcore to normal. But have to become a maniac with a glitched level of over (Lv.) 9999999 thousand to get there]
For I have lived 10'000 lives. Many in one.
Don't fire all your neurons at once kids, shorting your brain is a real thing.
...
Jokes aside, I should probably sleep. It's 1:20am, I have to go back to my ball and chain tomorrow- am bleeding out profusely... (which is probably not helping the "delusions of grandeur" of my maladaptive daydreaming, as I like to call them) and desperately need rest.
Tl;dr: Earth to B, you need to sleep. Unplug from Never Neverland Wonderland & go The Fuck to sleep.
Having too much of an imagination can be detrimental. Who would have thought... (insert /sarcasm + eyeroll at the sight of my own unhinged maladaptive daydreaming posts).
It sure feels nice in the moment... then it fizzles out like a high- and you re-read what you wrote, feeling both completely disconnected from it + concern(ed).
Just another day of living in my own head / with this brain of mine, unfortunately...
Therefore, I resort to the only drug and coping mechanism I have left:
Maladaptive Daydreaming™
(Triggered via music, namely, the playlist I created to map out my brain through emotions, memories... and so much more. The only thing allowing be to break through reality)
What if really seeing the universe for what it is, is what causes insanity? What if insanity becomes the highest form of clarity? Seeing how everything and everyone is programmed and stuck to be puppeted by their essence, personalities, imprinting, DNA, behavioral patterns and fate?
...
What if I became so terrifyingly good at seeing through people- and now, reality itself- what if I reverse-engineered it to the point I could make someone drop dead by merely whispering a few words in their ear...? Weaponizing the butterly effect and deploying it to its most lethal, extreme iteration...?
No. I'm not talking about playing 5D chess... More like 13D. Mastering all 13 Dimentions and layers making up the very quantum space-time continuum we inhabit. Can you imagine the horrors of displaying levels of power of that magnitude? What would happen if it ended up in the wrong hands, of someone so fed up with how things are that they'd use it to reshape everything we know...?
...
I started by eating The Apathy for breakfast... Now I've swallowed Salem whole... and I'm coming for the Gods too.
I am not going to stop until I have surpassed everything that has been instrumentalized via karma to torture me and everyone else living in this hell we call life.
If I can help it, I'll rebuild everything from the ground up- and this time, there will be a lot less needless suffering.
[merely wanting to turn down the difficulty from hardcore to normal. But have to become a maniac with a glitched level of over (Lv.) 9999999 thousand to get there]
For I have lived 10'000 lives. Many in one.
Don't fire all your neurons at once kids, shorting your brain is a real thing.
...
Jokes aside, I should probably sleep. It's 1:20am, I have to go back to my ball and chain tomorrow- am bleeding out profusely... (which is probably not helping the "delusions of grandeur" of my maladaptive daydreaming, as I like to call them) and desperately need rest.
Tl;dr: Earth to B, you need to sleep. Unplug from Never Neverland Wonderland & go The Fuck to sleep.
Therefore, I resort to the only drug and coping mechanism I have left:
Maladaptive Daydreaming™
(Triggered via music, namely, the playlist I created to map out my brain through emotions, memories... and so much more. The only thing allowing me to break through reality)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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... I think I've grown out of watching a lot of content creators that I used to follow. I'm talking specifically about YouTube content creators.
I also don't think that it's necessarily a bad thing... I guess it might be a part of growing up- and growing old (and maybe holding people to higher moral standards).
The older I get, the more it becomes apparent to me how some content creators didn't age well at all. It's like they either become stuck in their personas or personalities without growing- or you start to see how miserable they actually are from the way they live.
My autism makes me spot patterns in people, which includes behavioral patterns. I've seen some of my own blood relatives go through the same exact "getting stuck and getting worse" thing as they aged. I find it incredibly sad, in a way...
Commentator / commentary channels in particular have this problem, especially the more judgy ones, which only seem to bank on making content where they diss or piss on human beings that are blatantly, painfully deplorable. They generally cycle through stating the obvious, sharing their opinions / hot takes (which are usually rather superficial) and then proceed to go on tangents about picking apart the person or subject of interest at hand. It gets old and repetitive really fast... I feel bad for saying this out loud, but it's very much braindead content, to the point where I only ever really put on these channels if I've run out of other things to watch, to act as background noise to a chore, or distraction while I'm eating food I don't particularly like- but have to eat for nutritional purposes.
One of the channels I used to watch that was made with good intentions, but didn't quite deliver or follow through, was Mack's Midwest Magic Cleaning channel. I genuinely admired the guy before I found out that he was actively messaging women and young girls inappropriately on social media WHILST STILL MARRIED to his now ex wife. I've been cheated on- and I cannot stress how bad it is, how your trust becomes absolutely shattered from it- and it takes forever to recover from. Not to mention the fact his ex wife seemed to have serious health issues while he did all of that. It just made me unable to support his channel and watch his content anymore.
*sighs*
We all have bad things that we've done and are not proud of- I, for one, have a long list of those myself, many of which I still deeply regret. I don't want for content creators to be perfect angels. They are allowed to be flawed and human too- I just cannot condone certain things... and cheating is one of them. Predatory behavior is another, especially when it's something of a pattern in a person. I don't know Mack personally and I don't know how committed he really is to changing and becoming a better person. I can only hope that he continues to make progress on his own journey of self-improvement, but there are things that I cannot ignore- and as a consequence, I cannot willingly support him fully.
It's difficult to separate someone's past from the person when they've done some pretty unforgiveable things... and I don't blame people who block or avoid me out of similar reasons. I wasn't a good person- and have done my fair share of mistakes and crappy things. Be as it may... I also know that I'm not on the same level of bad, seen how my mistakes were genuine and borne from ignorance and undiagnosed neurodivergence. It still doesn't remove the validity of anyone else giving me the same treatment, though.
But yeah... Long, ranty paragraph aside, the more I age, the more I realize that judgy people with a huge following, who are almost always chronically online- are just as sad / as much of an "internet loser" as the next reddit mod living in a basement they probably make fun of. The only difference is that they have more money to spend on things if they make as much from their social media following.
People are people, at the end of the day. Numbers don't mean anything- and putting people with big followings on a pedestal never ends well- and is parasocial at best. You never know someone, until you do... and then you wish you didn't / you'd never met them.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a gaming channel YouTuber. Now that I'm older, I'm glad I didn't go down that route. I don't think I could have handled the spotlight or every negative thing that comes with being "known" on the internet, back then... Hell, even now that I have removed other people's opinions of me from my head- and they've stopped affecting my sense of self + self-esteem, I still don't like being the center of attention. If I ever create a gaming channel of sorts, it might be to share with friends- and honor the olden, golden days of the internet, where people genuinely posted stuff because it was fun or held nostalgic value...
... Besides, I like the peace and quiet I have. Even the fact that my posts get little to no interaction. It allows me to have more introspection than most people- and see things as an outside observer. I don't think I would have learned as many things as I did, had I not made the choises I have made... I might never fully be at peace with some of the things from my past, but at least I'm at peace with who I am and who I've become (for the most part).
If I could somehow undo my CPTSD and plurality, I probably would... if anything, to have better chances at dating, since my chances of finding someone are already so small that I don't need to dwindle them any further by being any other shade of "abnormal" or "out of the ordinary".
...
All of this to say: live the best life you can- and become the best person you can be. It's all anyone could ever ask for / ask out of you- and you owe it to yourself. Stop comparing yourself to people who may look "more successful" on the surface. They could be or turn out to be just as miserable on the inside- pretending to be happy... the more time you spend pretending, the less you're living. Do your own thing. Have fun. Make mistakes, memories- write your own story...
... I know I will. Even if people will spit on it, laugh at it, ignore it / not read it. My continued existence and suffering is not for everyone. Maybe it will find a few empathetic souls, or maybe it will just be forgotten, same as everyone else... Time is the great equalizer. No one is forever.
...So yeah. I took the plunge. Time to find out if PinkPawParadox delivers fursuit heads as good as they look
I told them to take their tim
I think writing "Beating the Curse" (my RWBY Whiterose Werewolf x Vampire, enemies to lovers fanfic) has done things to my brain- debatable on whether it's irreversible damage or it's just... unlocked something else within me, but here we are.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
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I feel like I need to migrate to another plane of existence.
This reality has become too fragmented, complicated and devoid of anything I am looking for in life... and people. ... Devoid of meaning.
I just want to live in a world where I can feel more connected, (where I) am surrounded by people and things that make sense- and where I have a real chance at thriving...
...not whatever this flaming, toxic garbage is supposed to be.
