i crave for more of your simon headcannons. i feed off your unhinged glass vro
Thank you!!! Well, have some more general headcanons. If you want more specific feel free to request, I got: angst, nsfw, crack, etc.
Simon is resistant to most every poison, or at least whatever Clef fed him during his time in the man’s class (alongside some of Clef’s subconscious reality bending and wanting to keep Simon safe). So now, if theres like a little thing of poison in front of him he will drink it like a shot. Or if he had an upset patient who decided to try and poison the psychologist, he finishes every bite of what was offered and says something along the lines of “[Insert poison] really? Couldn’t you have come up with, something more unique?”
He has photographic memory, he wasn’t born with it. Another thing that happened thanks to Francis Clef’s reality bending. Essentially he kept saying he forgot what his cousin told him and Clef just “Just remember it!! Goddamn!!” And poof! Photographic memory from then on.
Simon hates squishmallows, while he collects plushies he hates how squishmallows don’t have a unique silhouette. They’re all vaguely egg shaped and he hates it with a burning passion, he wants animal shaped plushies thank you very much!
While he typically isn’t violent, he is known to not have security nearby when doing psych evals. If one of his patients attack him, he can defend himself and typically injure them to where they back off or completely knock them out. Simon still has a panic button in his pocket just in case though.
He is convinced he’s a top from his Shard days, you see. Shard only ever topped targets because well, they wanted to be topped yk? So yeah, he’s convinced he’s a top (he’s a bottom).
While my Simon does publicly simp over Diogenes, they’re actually old friends from agent days. In fact, Diogenes was the one to suggest he simp for someone so pathetically that theres no way this “virgin” could ever be Shard. So, they’ve been playing everyone from day one.
Don’t ask him about Arias, he and Arias are exes. He will suggest you take some therapy if you ask him about it.
He’s a lightweight when drinking, in spite of his 6’9 frame, he will get tipsy within the first drink. Whether it’s genetics or subconscious reality bending? Thats up to fate to decide, nobody quite knows which it is.
Simon used to be a twin! Key word, used to be.
He watches Bluey and My Little Pony religiously, he loves the characters, the lessons, and he can pretend to be a kid again sometimes. Its nostalgic in a way, so very nostalgic. Also, he lives for the MLP Infection aus, they’re his favorite (his favorite in the Mane 6 is a three way tie between Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, he ships them.)
Yes, he has an OF account. Yes I can do some art of the posts on there, yes he still collects money because some Shard simps don’t care if Shard’s dead, they still want his content. Do I have headcanons for his account? Yes. Will I post them without someone asking for the content? No. I need to know what everyone wants before I start posting too much nsfw headcanons.
He used to smoke a lot, he smells like honey and cigarettes. He’ll smoke a pack within a day sometimes, he’s had to quit though and switch to zyns and gum ever since he became Meri’s psychologist.
Simon can lucid dream! He uses it to [REDACTED]
He lost his leg trying to save his cat.
His cat is a fugitive GOC agent.
Simon works out a lot, he’s only a twink because he’s hairless. Otherwise he’s as muscular and fit as your average MTF agent, he can hold his ground when it comes to weightlifting championships. In fact, due to him being so active, he’s friends with a lot of the agents on site seeing as they interact with him at the gym. It aids them feeling comfortable to go to him to talk and get therapy.
Most of his willing patients are MTF members!! See the paragraph above as for why.
He is dating Robert Carter (yes the MC&D heir, don’t ask me how), and Daniel Lucken (a friend’s oc who at this point is our oc. Shared custody bitch). He loves them both with all his heart, even if Simon has to deal with one drunken boyfriend and the other trying to kill him at times. He couldn’t be happier.
Simon would in fact date Bright if it wasn’t for y’know, both his hands are taken, and the whole patient thing. In the future he will allow Bright to hit if he’s desperate (but with Robert dating him, its unlikely)
He’s convinced Kondraki to do therapy, he struggles to get the man to remember to take his meds and not drink as much but at least he agreed to therapy. Namely after the Aquafina incident did he convince the man. Yes, Ship in a Bottle is canon here. Idc it’s funny and the best canon besides Resurrection and any MC&D Hub.
He does couples therapy for Draven and Talloran sometimes.
Simon works with TJ Bright SCP-590, it’s a secret to the majority of the Foundation. An O5 assigned him to it, and didn’t explain why. He assumes it’s a power play against O5-6, one that he’s unfortunately caught in the crossfire of. He doesn’t mind, he calls TJ 590 by his name. He’s not scared. They need him if they ever want Shard back after all.
He’s been assigned to 7408-b and 4231-b as well. He wont tell Clef. Simon misses his cousin.
Bro has some GOC agents that are out for him, or was out for him as Shard anyways. They hated his guts and he hated theirs. The mfers tried to kill his cat, and are the reason Agent Shard is dead.
Simon likes pineapple on pizza, his favorite pizza is specifically: pineapple, bacon bits, extra sauce, garlic crust, pepperoni, and banana peppers!
He hates horror movies with a burning passion! He will have vivid nightmares.
Simon is kinda the site’s pet, he’s the only one of them left with light in his eyes anymore after all. So almost everyone goes out of their way to keep him happy, they’re scared there will be a day that shine leaves his eyes and he stops smiling.
Well theres some headcanons! I hope this is enough for today seeing as there wont be any fanart for a bit. Namely because I’m drawing a Clefdraki comic because I had the most stupid idea and I’m cackling as I draw it. It’s a little song based comic and I really am enjoying making it!
Feel free to ask for more elaboration on some of these or any headcanons made in the past! Im more than happy to share!
