I miss him

Chapter 1 is up!

mood: ben wyatt when he’s depressed and spends all of his time on four seconds of claymation

british wizards be like, “omg hogwarts is the best wizarding school in the world” oh really? well beauxbatons didn’t have lord fucking voldemort on campus every other year

*dumps a bunch of toy cars at the bottom of the stairs* S C A T T E R

Hey mutuals I’m kind of depressed right now so send me your credit card number, the expiration date, and the three numbers on the back if you don’t hate me.

@ all the spambots who r following me: thank you, u might be empty and artificial but so is the flimsy validation i gain from seeing my follower count rise

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this