When I think about it now, it feels like I have known him forever.
But, to be honest
I can’t trace the day I first met him, or came to know him However,
there were vey few moment we spoke to each other it isn’t relevant…
Even though I knew he exist, and I hope he did as well
he came into my circle when I entered the middle school…
First,
I felt just nice knowing that the person I know at least from far is in my class.
Yet,
There ain’t any conversations between us except once I asked about school and he answered in a very humble manner.
The days went by…
There knocked the doors of adulthood.
I know it now,
but was unaware then…
It was just fine until that one thought crossed my mind,
touched my heart,
bloomed in an undefinable feeling…
What was that?
It was new…
Realized that it was unique and only belonged to him…
When I think about it now,
I can tell the one think that made me fall for him
was my curiosity of why he is hiding his smile…
But still,
Never had the confidence to put forth my feeling to him. My bad…
We weren’t meant to be together after all…
This thought of him
bloomed and bloomed in my heart…
There were no way for it to blossom in reality. But,
it bursted in my dreams…
and
took a life in my imaginary world…
Only because,
I did not have any enough guts to face him… I put myself down…
Never meant to do so.
But,
Somehow I wasn’t up to do the right thing.
The days went by…
I saw him again.
Hoping for the rush of emotions…
But,
The feelings faded…
Where did the trembling heart beat go?
What was that?
Nothing but the doors of adulthood was now wide open.
There was no space for infatuation
or,
attraction says the world…
I din’t understand what my heart wanted from me…
Because of that,
Unknowingly I put myself somewhere
where I am not supposed to be…
I gave a life to the thought that was about to fade?
I went blind…
The thought of him,
made me erase the boundary between my imagination and reality…
Even after years…
thinking about that first feelings for a boy… brings a warmness to my heart…
innocent days of my life…
crazy mistakes done because of it…
Even though it was one sided… Somewhere..
Somehow..
It did help me in sorting my life,
and
Made me what I am today.
Even though he is unaware about these feelings.
I am sure,
Nothing would have happened even if had shared it with him. It’s okay…
We are not meant to be together… It’s okay,
It’s just the first knock of adulthood, there’s a long way to go…
The beats will get out of control,
when it sees the one who can calm it down… With that hope…
Goodbye to the first crush…
yousharknotpass
discoholicmusic
origamiaround
prguitarman
kianamaiart