burner

So inbetween studying and securing the bag, I’ve been writing again. I recently gave online dating a (half-hearted) second chance and was able to secure a first date shopping experience and $2.5k a week allowance. I wrote all about my method and the process which I will soon be posting on my website as a guide for members. Below I’ve summarized the main things I said/did to get to this bag:

I personally have very little patience for cheap men and I don’t like wasting my time. I have developed this general script as a time saver and it hasn’t failed me yet:

Him: what do you like to do for fun? I would love to meet you sometime. When are you available?

You: when I’m not studying, I enjoy shopping and trying different cuisines. I’m available x if you’d like to get together for some shopping and lunch/dinner at x.

He may be unresponsive, try and low ball you, suggest something else, or flat out agree. Either way this is his first test and a way for you to save time and weed out the stingy/broke men. I actually don’t go out to meet anyone from dating apps unless the first date includes shopping or something of monetary gain for me. Now that I’ve found that this works and men will either step up or step out of the way, I will never waste my time again.

Your dating profile doesn’t have to include 100xs how “high value” you are, how much you “enjoy the finer things in life”, or how you’re looking for a “generous and established gentleman”. Let your pictures do the talking so you don’t have to!

During the first date, make sure you are flirty/feminine. Use Top Questions I Ask A POT On The First Date to break the ice. Your job now is to find out just how generous he’s willing to be. Sure he took you on a fancy date and spent some money taking you shopping but you’re looking for an allowance no? Stay on task and pay attention to his answers about women. How does he see women, how has he treated them in the past, is he a provider.. these will all be indicators about how he will treat you.

Getting to the Allowance Conversation on Date #1

How do you get a vanilla man to agree to an allowance? What if he’s not into that?

Firstly, you cannot be shy, timid, or scared to ask for what you want. Men aren’t and you shouldn’t be either. Practice in a mirror or on a friend multiple times until you can comfortably speak about money. Any indication of fear in your voice and the chances of a successful outcome are greatly reduced.

Wait until the food comes or until dessert and say:

You: So what are you looking for?

Him: blah blah chemistry, blah blah sex, blah blah blah

You: I like to think that I’m pretty openminded... I agree chemistry is important. As far as traits someone kind, adventurous both in the bedroom and in life *look him in the eye* and generosity is a must! In a previous relationship, an ex supported me financially every week and I liked the dynamic. It allowed us to explore each other and the connection to grow. It was a great experience, and I’d like something similar. Is that something you’d be into?

Him: That makes sense, I’m interested. How much was he giving you? How much would work for you at this time?

You: *enter negotiation script* (this is too long for me to type right now. The full script and walkthrough will be available on my website soon)

Or

Him: hmm I’m not sure 🤔

You: I understand my dating style may be a bit unconventional but it works for me. (No need to press and try to convince him why he should be giving you a weekly allowance. He knows he’s dealing with a dime so again he will either step up or step out of the way.)

Final Tips

You don’t need to overdue it but you want to show him your personality but do not act overly impressed.

You do need to show him that this is something you’re used to.

The moment they realize you don’t have a clue what you’re doing, they will try to low ball you/act cheaply no matter how much you’ve impressed him with your personality. So it’s important to remember to keep a mysterious air about yourself.

Never go to his house. Not after date 1, 2, or 3.

Don’t become his texting buddy. Call him instead. Keep things sexy and mysterious in all your encounters with him.

The sugar bowl is just so saturated. It is quite hard to find a SD in these conditions. I could recommend Bumble, it seems like all the hard working men drift to that dating app. 

But what i slowly had to realise was that freestyling is always going to be your greatest option when it comes to finding a POT. 

Places that i would recommend would:

1) Bars near company buildings downtown. You get a lot of men-in-suits. Y

2) Afternoon tea restaurants. They are quite pricey but I've noticed some money-heavy men booking these kind of places for lunch. I would say men around their 40′s. It’s worth a shot.

3) Charity events. Men with loaded pockets. Yes. Sir.

4) Some ladies have recommended Country Clubs but you’d need to know someone or have some type of membership before entering that kind of space.

 5) Now this a very interesting recommendation i got from an older women, Car shows. She told me you get A LOT of rich/wealthy men in these events. Most of these men fly in from other places so you could potentially find a SD to serve you from aboard. Just make sure you do some research before going the event, this is best for sparking up a conversation.   

I hope i gave you some idea to what you could do to higher your chances in finding a SD. Good luck my Sugar Princess.

- purchase a VPN and use it across ALL your devices (work related and personal). Set it to a neutral country that is not your own and does not have harsh laws regarding SW (I use Switzerland)

- do not host your provider website in a jurisdiction with harsh laws regarding SW. This automatically excludes the US because of Fosta/Sesta. No domains that end in .com - once again I use a Swiss domain.

- pay a little extra for added cyber-attack protection for your website. If you DIY a wordpress site then add in plug ins that provide this same service.

- remove all EXIF data from every single image you post, whether it’s for your gallery on your website or twitter. Non negotiable.

- I double blur my face in images. After I pixelate once I save that image, and then blur the pixelated one as a separate file. It makes it more difficult for facial descramblers to parse out what your face looks like.

- if you’re not hiding your face in all your materials you’re somewhat of an idiot. Unless you’re a SW lifer / career hoe in which case you know better than I do.

- Obliterate your personal social media. Remove as much information as you can, and set everything to the strictest security settings. Or simply don’t have personal social media like I do and keep in touch with friends and family via phone.

- reverse search your name online and remove everything that no longer serves you. Contact web hosts of sites to delete your information as necessary.

- reverse search your face using PimEyes or similar. Remove all results that turn up except the bare minimum (eg. the only image of my face I allow online is my professional headshot for LinkedIn)

- reverse search your name, address, email and phone number on the census databases of any and every country you’ve lived in. If any results show up, contact the domain to have them wiped.

For your level-up journey & personal education.

Affluent Chanelli

The Womanly Report

Alex in the Sun

Trophy Wife Bible

Whisperings of Anna

French Kiss Life

Champagne Standard

Hello Bombshell!

The Gorgeous Life

Blissful Mind

Hypergamy Her

HighValueGoddess

The Femme Guide

The Siren School

I understand that a lot of people don’t see sex as anything important, but what most men just want sex.

Sex in exchange of gifts, is just prostitution. There’s is not reason for you to lower yourself or think so little of yourself for that. I course I’m not saying don’t ever have sex, especially if you like it, I wouldn’t want to shame anyone.

But if you want to make a man treat you like a queen instead of an object whenever he’s in the mood, then I would follow this advice.

Men love the chase. Playing hard to get is basically their drive, giving it up easily for them will make them use you as a means to an end. You must assert that he is spending time with YOU and that YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

If a man refuses to spoil you without you giving something to him, DROP HIM. He’s not worth it sis. If a man thinks that you can only get something by giving up your body, then you need to ghost.

I’ve received gifts and dates all paid for by men without even kissing them. Of course I thank them and show them affection, but my body is a temple and any man that thinks he is entitled to see it shouldn’t even bother trying to talk to me.

Of course it can be difficult saying no constantly, you may feel panicked or pressured but remember; that terrible feeling when he’s constantly asking or implying means that you should drop him because YOU ARE THE PRIZE-

1. You want me to look beautiful, don’t you? 
(Translation: Buy me that outfit/hair/nails/lingerie)

2. You said you want the best for me.
(Translation: Give me the extra money)

3. I just want to feel safe and secure.
(Translation: Get me my own hotel suite)

4. You’ve inspired me to be better
(Translation: pay for this elite yoga retreat)

5. I feel like you don’t trust me and I’m giving you my body. 
(Translation: Give me the money first) 

6. Take me to XYZ and I’ll look so beautiful you’ll make all the men in the room jealous 
(Translation: Take me to this broadway play)

7. I bought a new bikini for you! When are you gonna let me show it off for you (Translation: take me to Hawaii)

Let’s not waste any time today, ladies. You want to know how to ask a man for money/gifts/stuff, so allow me to tell you how.

💰 The Worst Thing a Man Can Say is No.

Ya’ll gotta get over your stage fright and start asking these damn men for what you want. These men aren’t coy about asking you for sex on the first date, so why are you acting all shy about asking for money/gifts? Don’t lie to yourselves ladies, we all want a high value and established man for the security and what he can provide. If that didn’t matter to us, we would choose dusties and do 50/50.

Besides, what’s the worst a man can say? No?

And if he does say no, then GOOD. Now you know he isn’t the right man for you! Time is money ladies, but it applies both ways: if he’s not giving you money/providing for you, then he’s wasting your time. If you’re wasting time and not asking for money, the you’re wasting both time and money.

💰  Timing Is Everything.

I don’t know why you ladies think a man is going to fork over $5,000 on the first date. Unless you and this man have some sort of sugaring dynamic or an arrangement prior to the first date, it’s not happening. Be realistic ladies.

💰 Condition Him From the Start.

Never leave a date empty handed.  Whether it’s flowers, gifts, or money, a man must approach a goddess with an offering. If a man comes empty handed, don’t be shy. Comment on the fact that he’s empty handed!

💰 High Effort Dates ONLY.

We don’t do coffee dates here, ladies. We don’t do bars, either. We don’t grab drinks. Not on this blog. If a man suggests a low effort date, counter-suggest with a high effort one. Set this expectation from Date 1. It’s difficult to set the bar high if you start it off low.

💰 Shopping Dates.

The easiest way to start getting gifts from a man is by suggesting a date at an upscale mall. Upscale malls typically have restaurants inside that you can first grab a meal there, before moving onto the stores.

When suggesting this date, say something along the lines of: “I’ve been needing new dresses to wear out… should we grab lunch at ____ and then go shopping afterwards? What do you think? I’m sure you have amazing taste and will choose some great dresses.”

I sometimes also like to send a picture of something I want (like a Chanel purse), and hint that I’ve been wanting it for a while. This typically works well.

💰 Asking for Money.

Gifts are nice, but the goal is to provided for in all ways. There’s a few ways you can do this:

- Start off by becoming distant, and texting less. Do this leading up to your next day. At the date date, bring up that feeling ‘uncertain’ (but keep it vague about what the uncertainty is about, while hinting that the uncertainty is regarding your relationship). Then bring up how feeling secure in a relationship is really important to you. When he asks what he can do to make you feel more secure, say something like: “I really enjoy feeling secure and provided for by a man. It really helps me know he cares and wants me to be taken care of.”

- Before becoming intimate with him, outline to him your expectations.  “I really feel a strong connection with you and want to deepen that connection, but it’s really important for me to be exclusive and be taken care of by a man before I can feel comfortable with being intimate.” If he asks you what ‘taken care of’ means, say support with bills, help with tuition, and emotional security.

- Ask for support/investment in something. If you have business dreams or want to go to school, ask him for help! Even if you don’t want either of those things, lie and say you want to take a class to develop your skills in an area. Make sure to double the expense (meaning: if tuition is $5,000, tell him its $10,000). “Honey, I really want to start my own beauty business this year. Do you think you could help me? It’s been my dream forever, and I already laid out a financial plan of how much I would need.”

- Ask for financial support to be able to spend more time with him. To do this, start being “busy” with work/school/life, and be more distant. Then let him know that his support would allow you more time to be with him, and relieve stress. Be sure to double your expenses. “I really wish we could spend more time together, and be able to further our connection…but I’m so stressed with paying rent, that I’ve had to work overtime. Do you think you could help me, honey? I really want us to be able to spend more time together.”

- Just ask. Seriously. No scenario needed, just ask. 

“Honey, I could really use some help with some bills and just self maintenance because I love looking and feeling beautiful when we go out on dates. Do you think you could help me out? I would appreciate it sooo much!”

💰 Surgeries.

Getting cosmetic procedures is SO easy because men automatically think of how it’ll benefit them. Text him a picture of the procedure you want (before & afters), along with the pricing and tell him how much more confident and sexy you’ll feel once you get it done.

💰 Houses & Cars

- Always tell men you have roommates, this way, when asking for a house/condo/apartment, you can use your roommates as an excuse why you’re moving out and wanting to live alone. Also, suggest to him that having your own place will allow for more privacy between the two of you.

- Let him know you can’t afford a place nearby and you may have to move to a different state. If he likes you enough, he’ll want to prevent that, or at least offer to help you with rent.

- When asking for a car, tell him how you’ve been experiencing car troubles and not feeling comfortable driving. Explain that you’ve been needing a more reliable and safer car. Start attending less dates due to ‘transportation issues’.

*Note, make sure these items are fully paid off and IN YOUR NAME*

💰 Damsel in Distress. 

Ugh, I hate this tactic because it’s not sustainable, but I’ll cover it anyways. This is pretty simple; come up with a distressing scenario and ask if he can help you in any way. Pretty straight forward, but I do not recommend this as your main tactic. 

Example: “I’m feeling so stressed out. My tuition for this semester is due in 2 weeks and I don’t have the full amount. I don’t know what to do, if I don’t pay, I can’t go to school this semester.”

Hope this helps ladies! I may do a Part 2 to offer more advice on this topic <3

1. You want me to look beautiful, don’t you? 
(Translation: Buy me that outfit/hair/nails/lingerie)

2. You said you want the best for me.
 (Translation: Give me the extra money)

3. I just want to feel safe and secure.
 (Translation: Get me my own hotel suite)

4. You’ve inspired me to be better
. (Translation: Pay for this elite yoga retreat)

5. I feel like you don’t trust me and I’m giving you my body. 
(Translation: Give me the money first) 

6. Take me to XYZ and I’ll look so beautiful you’ll make all the men in the room jealous 
(Translation: Take me to this Broadway Play)

7. I bought a new bikini for you! When are you gonna let me show it off for you (Translation: Take me to Hawaii)

Here’s my little guide how to glow up in your life:

First, get your life together:

Organise and clean your home -Having clean home will make you feel better and lighter and therefore you will be more positive.

Have a life admin day -Write down all the stuff that needs to be done, all the appointments you need to get and everything that needs to be fixed. Then schedule in a day every month or every two weeks when you tick off these thing off your list.

Do your damn laundry

Create routines -They can be long and strict or short and very opened

Fight procrastination in all the ways you can

Take your mediaction and have regular health check ups

Now it’s time for mental health:

Make sure you eat and drink water regularly

Get a therapist if you feel like you need/want one

Practise your hobbies or find new ones

Listen to your favourite music

Meditate

Create a happy atmosphere for yourself -Buy plants and flowers, let your favourite music play in the background, let in as much ligh as you can.

Warm beverages

Be as positive as you can

Try to complain less

Don’t talk shit about people, especially not behind their back -You spread negative energy and hurt yourself in the process.

Say nice things to people, compliment them as much as you can -Being nice to poeple will affect your own mood for the better.

Talk about what you love, not what you hate

Get enough fresh air.

Glow up your mind!:

Read more books -Does not matter the genre

Watch movies and series

Learn new language -Even if it’s just a few words

Watch documents

Talk to people smarter than you

Try learning random fact every day

Find a new hobby

Think of ways to make your life better and help your surrounding -Minimalism? Zero waste? Vegetarian? It depends on you.

Find a new friend

Help people

And lastly the physical glow up:

Find out how much sleep you need and stick to it -Usually 8 hours are the norm

Play around with make up -You will fail and it might look wonky from the beginning. And maybe you won’t even like it. I want you to experiment.

Make sure to go make-up-less sometimes if you wear it often

Drink water -It won’t magically clear your skin completely but it will get better.

Wash your face in the morning and in the evening, but no soap if possible

Use as little skin products as you can -Sometimes less is more.

Lip balm

Eat vegetables every day -Every. single. day. It’s the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Eat oatmeal -It did wonders for my hair.

Stretch regularly

Exercise -Find something you have fun doing and do it as often as possible.

Avoid food with too much grease and sugar -You can have it but try to reduce it.

Prepare your outfit the night before -It gives you time to think about what you’ll wear and it’s nice to have it ready in the morning.

Get clothes you feel good and confident in

Get your dream hair colour! -Get crazy if you want

Learn to be comfortable with your body

Don’t shower every day -I know, I know… but listen… It’s actually much healthier for your skin to shower every other day and wash your hair even less. Plus it saves a lot of water.

Get a perfume -Have a scent

Get enough sun -You don’t have to be tan but getting sun on your skin is very healthy and it’s visible in other ways than tan.

Smile and spread joy

If you’re happy, show it -It’s contagious

Remember that beauty comes from within. That is why I put these tips in that order.