something in between

𓉸ྀི If you want access to me, earn it.

Something I’ve noticed is that I’m incapable of masking when I’m at home. My brain refuses to flip it on like it automatically does at work, for instance. It just won’t. It has decided this is my safe space to be unapologetically antisocial and weird, so when I encounter the neighbours outside, I completely forget how to be a human being. It’s fascinating.

Is this going to come back to bite me in the ass? In trying to be a good person, did I inadvertently do something bad? Why do I feel like I did? I think it’s more disappointment I feel for crossing my own strict boundary by succumbing to my white knight syndrome, & less because there’s a realistic chance I could end up breaking this guy’s heart.

I know they’re no good for me, but they make me feel so good.