Ask the Grumpy Witch

So I’m going to talk more about them. 

Shpigs are amazing. Take a pig. Put a pastel sheep on the outside. Then make it nigh indestructible. 

It’s been a long cold lonely winter, but I’m still here. 

What are the rest of you up to? I’m taking care of a shpig that made its way onto my property. Take a peek!

Okay you guys. I think you really need to see these little floofs for yourselves.

Sorry I’ve been so quiet for so long. The cottage got snowed in, and I’ve been hard at work baking and tidying up. Six months of neglect can do a lot to make a cottage a lot less snug.

I’m back, though, and ready to answer questions, but FIRST I really need to ASK one.

I was having trouble sleeping for a while because of this weird sound coming from my roof. When I managed to get outside and investigate, you won’t believe what I found in my eaves.

Apparently, batkin and their… what do you even call them? Batkinlets? Batbabies? Whatever you call them (ideas, people?), they snuggle in whatever crevices they can find to keep warm in the winter.

 I really don’t know if I want to wake them. Batkin are bitey jerks, but their babies are SO CUTE and I don’t know if it’s right to push them out in the middle of winter to go find another home.

When I was really tiny, I summoned my toys from my toybox and floated them over my crib to play with them.

I mean that’s kind of a personal question. I don’t know your mom.

I was going to send my mom a collection of cuttings from my garden so that she can splice them to create crosses for some magic plant experimentation, but your mom probably isn’t a witch with an extensive herb garden.

THAT’S WHAT I’M ASKING

I doubt it’s broken.

I mean, your hair is probably FINE. Make your hair your own, like everything else!

Please practice ethical alchemy, okay? Use the WHOLE PART OF THE NEWT. If I run across one more one-eyed newt, I’m going to find out who’s “experimenting” and give them what for. 

Okay, here’s the deal. 

Magic is magic.

Magick is how people spell ‘magic’ when they want to distinguish themselves from sleight-of-hand artists who pull rabbits out of hats and insist they did it by ~magic~. 

Real magic doesn’t look like that. Real magic hats don’t work like that, either, but that’s beside the point. If people are mistaking your magic for stage magic, then no number of extra letters on magyckkkkk is going to help.