Everyone has their secrets, right?

“The teenagers in my care told me it would be a ‘Bad idea’ and ‘Raise pointless suspicion’ but then Jasi Mean, a coworker, told me ‘Do it pussy’ and so I listened to the reasonable voice in the group and I did it.”

Anonymous asked:

Hey Mr. Wayne, what’s it like running Wayne enterprises? What do you get up to on your days and nights off?

“Well both would be much more fun if I actually had access to my own money-”

“Is this a joke? My friend is dead. Tommy Elliot died years ago by the hands of The Joker.”

“So, no, I am not Tommy Elliot. Because he is dead. Do you know how offensive saying something like that is?”

Anonymous asked:

Batman seems pretty handsome.. what do you think?

“Batman?... Way too young for my tastes. Pass.”

“I... Can’t quite recall. As far as I’m aware, I was kept quite separate from the ‘prominent criminals’, but...”

“...I do recall meeting The Riddler. Not something I’d like to do again, but then again...”

“You’re here, clearly, Damian was certainly here, and Cassandra gave me a very firm glare. --Dick, where the hell is Timothy?”

“--I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.”

“My opinion on vigilantes? My, my, I thought that was pretty clear considering the fact I’m-”

“--Uhh...”

@linoleum-muncher asked:

So Mr Wayne, what's it like being Gotham's most eligible bachelor?

"Oh, I'm amazing, thank you for asking. And so is that, but I do have one complaint..."