give me the burden

Thanks for your input, anon. But I’m not about to jump into anything with anyone right now. Especially not some guy I just met.

I don't know if theory is even the right word. It's more of this feeling that everything is changing. There are actually answers, like Danny and the whole thing with his dad, and the chief actually listening to me even if Jo's still being weird around us, and Jo being, well, she's still Jo. But there's progress! And I think that's worth talking about.

I don’t plan on keeping anything a secret this time. Full transparency. We can't solve this case if no one has any information, right? This proves someone other than Danny could've wanted to hurt Regina, and I just hope Chief Masterson doesn't think I'm making it up. Hopefully, we can at least figure out what Regina was involved in before she died.

My head's under water But I'm breathing fine You're crazy, and I'm out of my mind

You know that’s one of my favorite things to come out of that whole day? Jo was always like the Porter Whisperer, and now my dad actively avoids bringing her up for any reason.

Sarita…. Yeah, we talked, but it’s nothing like it used to be. She really doesn’t trust Danny, and so she doesn’t want to say anything to me other than the one time where she asked me if I was okay after the news report went out. Phoebe says she’s been trying to get Sarita to trust me again, but I’m starting to wonder if it’ll go back to normal. Or, if I even want it to.

I’ve been okay. Honestly, after losing Regina and all of this stuff with Danny and Archie, part of me wants to start over. Reinvent myself, you know? Make some new friends and try to figure out who I am again.

Okay, that’s enough for this question. And it wasn’t a sex tape. I mean, does anyone even own a tape anymore?

Karen Mrs. Desai is really nice to me. Danny says it’s because me and Jo are like the daughters she always wanted. Sometimes, she lets me stay over later than I’m supposed to and talks my mom down from whatever rant she might go on about my being at a boy’s house so late.

Mr. Desai doesn’t talk much. He’s normally really busy. When he’s around, he normally watches soccer or drinks a beer or eats his dinner with his phone on the table.

When school gets out, Danny, Jo, and I are going to spend the whole day in the fort. We told our parents we were going to McNally Park, but this is so much better. Leave me questions for when I come back? I'll try to make my answers shorter, I promise.

Ugh, my mom keeps calling my name. Gotta go!

He’s my best friend. He’s actually kind of the main reason I made this blog in the first place. I don't know how to describe us because I feel like something's different about us now. 'Cause sometimes Danny and I are great friends who don't fight and talk for hours and have lots of fun together, and other times we get quiet and we won't look at each other and his hands get all twitchy and when we do look at each other it's like we can't look away because there's something we're trying to say but how do we say it without sounding like idiots, you know?

Like, yesterday, Danny, Jo, and I were all watching Boy Meets World re-runs at my house. We always sit on the big sofa with Jo in the middle because she likes to hold the remote and Danny sits on the right and me on the left. Only, Jo wanted to be on the ground, so it was just Danny and me on the couch.

At first, we were laughing, whispering jokes to each other from across the Jo-shaped space. But somewhere along the line, Danny scooted to be next to me and when I turned to say something, he was right there, so close to my face that I could see everything on his. I turned around so fast that I jumped and kicked Jo, but Jo only punched me back and didn't even say anything. So we all kept watching and I can't remember which episode was on because I couldn't focus. Danny kept looking at me during scenes with Cory and Topanga on screen. He looked at me like he was Cory, and I realized that he does that a lot. And if he's Cory, am I Topanga? Because Cory and Topanga are perfect for each other and they fall in love and get married and I can't do that with Danny. But sometimes, I think about it.

About holding his hand because nobody would even see us if we sat really close together, and we could probably kiss in the fort when Jo was running late, and when my mom and dad fought a lot, I could just stay in his room and sleep over until all the yelling stopped....

I moved to Green Grove when I was almost seven. We got here a week before first grade started, and I was so nervous to be at a new school in a new town where I knew nobody.

The day before school started, I met Danny at the diner. He was in the booth behind me and dropped his fork. It skidded over to the edge of my booth, so I picked it up and gave it back to him. We didn’t talk or anything, but that’s when I first met Danny. He had to swipe his hair away from his eyes to even see me because he really needed a haircut.

And Jo was in my class the next day. The teacher sat her in front of me, and we had to talk when we played this Classmate Bingo game. (You know when you have a bingo card with stuff like has blue eyes and then you have to find someone who does and make them sign it? I signed pretty much every paper for being the only person to live outside of New York.) Jo didn’t talk to me much.

In first grade, we used to sit at tables with our class, so I wound up sitting next to random people. Then we had recess and everyone went running off to play. I saw people playing kickball and tag and dodgeball and hopscotch and then there was Danny and Jo. They were playing jumprope, but they had to switch off because they only had one. My cousins and I play double dutch sometimes, so I was good at twisting the rope, and I’d already met them each once so I went for it. I walked over to them and said, “I can help spin the rope and then we all can be doing something.”

Jo looked at me like I was crazy for a second. Danny looked at Jo, and he lifted his eyebrows up really high, but they didn't catch in any hair because he got a haircut already, and that was the first time Danny stood up for me. Jo gave in the longer he looked at her. She sighed and handed the rope to me. She was all “I jump first.” So Danny and I spun it and Jo jumped for a really long time.

It was weird ‘cause after a while I stopped thinking about the right time to move my arm so she didn’t fall. I was just breathing and looking forward, watching Danny as he smiled, listening to the thud of Jo’s shoes against the blacktop, just being.

I didn’t know we’d be the best of friends then. Not until the day Jo had a birthday party and invited me herself. She said, “I have to invite everyone in the class but I choose to invite you.” And we’ve been really good friends ever since.

Since Twisted is on hiatus until January, I thought it would be fun to do something different with this blog for a little while. I've seen a bunch of posts in the tags requesting more flashbacks of the trio, so why don't we make that a reality? While I won't play/write for all three of the characters, kid!Lacey definitely knows enough to tell you all sorts of things about the way life is in Green Grove BT -- Before Tara.

Starting now (Tuesday, September 10th) and continuing until next Tuesday, the 17th, eleven-year-old Lacey Porter will run this blog. So, ask her about anything/anyone, ask for stories, or chat it up, whatever you want, but please remember to put [AU] in your message. If you don't put that, then I'll assume your message is for sixteen-year-old Lacey and it will go unanswered for a week and you'll miss the chance to talk to kid!Lacey.

Some quick things to remember:

This takes place before Danny kills Tara so Lacey doesn't know what's about to happen or what her friend's capable of.

Lacey, Jo, and Danny are practically inseparable.

Tara's around. Vikram's alive.

Lacey's parents are still married, and Clara is eight.

Sorry about how long it took me to answer this. I think I needed a break from everything for a while.

To be honest, I don’t know if I even believe in love. I get loving someone — you know, wanting the best for them, protecting them — but actually being in love? Arch always said I probably felt that way because of my parents, or Danny, but I just feel like it's not something I understand right now.