it's 𝒃𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒍 out here.

“I’m still learning to love the parts of me that no one claps for.”

you know, i actually had a thought the other day that someone should ask one of the techy guys to create an app that people can input whenever there's a coach sue sighting, to help those of us who want to avoid her (anyone sane, i'd assume?) be able to do so more easily. if it makes you feel any better, i think she has eyes on everyone, not just you.

tina, that's genius!! i wouldn't mind paying them to make an app like that. the world would be a much safer place. and you're definitely right about that. no one seems to be safe from the wrath of sue sylvester... or her spying. well, quinn fabray perhaps.

there's a very thin line between hate and love, and the passion this woman has for her vitriolic attitude towards the performing arts is a little suspicious, if you ask me. now, i'm no therapist, but i wouldn't be shocked to find out that she has some sort of buried desire to join us, and, out of fear of rejection, is simply pretending to loathe the craft instead.

you know what, i don't think your theory is that far off. i'm not sure if it's the fact that she wants to join us, per se, but i do think it's highly likely that she was rejected in some type of performing arts environment at some point in her life. it's actually kind of sad when you think about it...

You're in the clear, Blaine. But if it happens again then whoever is responsible won't be. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm more angry than injured.

I don't blame you. Although I certainly don't think anyone did that on purpose, it's a serious safety hazard and it could've ended way worse. Perhaps we should get the squad together for extra safety training sometime this week? We can't have this happen again.

between the sheets has music? i thought it was for like... bed stuff?

no, that's sheets 'n things, sam. between the sheets is the sheet music store. the names are really confusing.

Am I seriously the only one who’s somehow managed to avoid running into Sue Sylvester?

It's starting to look like it. It's not exactly something to get FOMO over, though, so please teach me your secret.

nah, i definitely feel you. at first i thought she was onto me for always using the bathroom in her office, but it's getting to a point with all the lurking where i think she might just want a ride on the puckerman express. probably not the case for you, though. did you screw up or piss her off at practice? cause she could deadass be plotting on you.

or she's just being her usual unfriendly self and/or trying to intimidate you, like she does with pretty much everyone. i have so many questions though. starting with: the puckerman express, really? and why do you use the bathroom in her office? as far as i'm aware, i didn't screw up or piss her off, but it's coach sylvester, so you never know. now that i'm thinking about it, she did tell me i was being too cheerful for a monday morning the other day... and knowing her, that might just be enough of a reason to be plotting on me.

The absolute incompetence that we have on the Cheerios is appalling. We don't work as hard as we do to have mediocre Cheerios and if I almost slip off the pyramid again because someone got distracted by the guys practice? I will personally have some words with Coach Sylvester and have those members kicked off the squad. Effective immediately.

I know I've already said this, but I swear it wasn't me. But gosh, that was a really close call. Are you alright?