Vox’s Parenting Blog

Yes, it’s me. I got a bit of a downgrade since uh… ya know… *clears throat*

Yes, I’m aware of my reputation.

No, I will not be addressing “the incident” every five minutes—get creative.

This is a Q&A blog.

You ask questions. I answer them. Preferably with accuracy. Occasionally with patience.

Topics I will entertain:

– Parenting (qualified)

– Technology (very qualified)

– Survival in Hell (unfortunately qualified)

– Sharks (extremely qualified)

Topics I will ignore:

– “Are you evil”

– “Do you regret everything”

– Anything addressed to “TV man lol”

There is one rule: You do not involve my daughter in anything stupid.

Ava: *pops in* Daddy what are you doing?

Vox: Princess! Hello there! I’m just setting up this blog for people to follow and talk to us.

Ava: *shyly, close to Vox’s head* Can I say hi?

Vox: Sure sweetheart. Go ahead.

Ava: *looks at everyone* Hi!! My name is Ava Whittman! You can ask me stuff too if you want!

Notes:

Husk’s Side Story to AU

Finds new video just uploaded:

Ava: *has new favorite song and starts to sing and dance* 🎤 Why you gotta om-a-nom om-a-nom om-a-nom ~ 🎶

Vox: *walks in* Ava? What are you doing?

Ava: New shark song was just released! Look!

Vox: *sees and eyes widen with joy*

5 Minutes Later…

And Vox don’t steal Ava’s cookies and eat them we all know you have

Ava: I’m sure Ive been bad at him before… but mostly I was mostly sad because I wanted to live with him but couldn’t before.

Vox: Ava I’m sorry I kept you in that academy. It was my only way to make sure you were safe from my enemies. But now we’re together again! And we can stuff together! Not just those videos I used to make for you!

Ava: Yeah!!! Can we bake cookies and make blanket forts?!

Ava: Hey Dad. Was I ever a biter?

Vox: *laughs* Oh no Ava. You were never a biter. But you were framed as one.

Ava: Huh?

Vox: Oh yeah. When you were a toddler, I often had your nanny take you to the park in the Hellborn areas of the Pride Ring. And one day the nanny came home with this pissed off siren-infestor… whatever she was fish lady, who accused you of biting her baby so much.

Ava: *raises an eyebrow* Really?

Vox: Oh yeah. That lady thought you were biting her or whatever and left a bunch of teeth marks on it. And for a moment I was worried you were picking up Alastor’s cannibalism traits.

Ava: *horrified*

Vox: But then I looked closer at the bite marks and clearly saw they were made with something that had sharp teeth.

Ava: But I have sharp teeth!

Vox: You didn’t always. You were barely two years old and the little teeth you did have couldn’t even pierce fish sticks, let along actually flesh.

Ava: I see… so what happened next?

Vox: Told the lady to, not so nicely, fuck off or else.

Ava: Why did you have to be rude?

Vox: *shifts disposition real quick* The bitch was accusing my baby of being a biter. I’m like “nah lady. Nah. You don’t fuck with the wrong Dad” and I then proceeded to scorch her fishy ass with electricity and ate some of the nastiest fish demon I’ve ever eaten.

Ava: ….Dad are you sure you’re not a cannibal?

Vox: Ava. We’re sharks. That was a fish. Sharks eat fish. That’s just nature.

Ava: …talking about eating fish really makes me want sushi now. Can we get some?

Vox: That sounds like a wonderful idea. I’ll go order us some.

Vox: Oh, as a “modern man” for that time, I can say I was not definitely not equipped to care for a newborn. I had to hypnotize lots of Hellborn nannies into doing the job and to keep their damn mouths shut.

Shok.Wav: *goes into ‘Protect Ava’ Mode*

Vox: Easy there Shocky. This is a visitor of my blog. They mean no harm.

Ava: Daddy can I go swimming with Shocky please?!

Vox: Sure sweetie!

Ava: Yay!! *runs to go get changed into her swimsuit*

Vox: Favorite moment? Well… I have lots of moments like when she took her first steps, when she first said “Dada.” But my absolute favorite is when she learned how to swim when Vark was alive.

Ava: VARK!! Oh my gee! I ‘member Vark!! He was such a good boy!

Vox: Yes. It was an upsetting day when Vark passed due to old age. But now we have Shok.Wav! Isn’t that right Shocky!

Shok.Wav: *swims to glass and eyes glow maliciously*

Ava: *waving at Shok.Wav* HI BUBBY!!!

Shok.Wav: *scans and analyses Ava*

Identifying:…..Ava Victoria Whittman. Big Sister ✅

Vox: Oh yes. In fact she’s helping me expanding it!

Ava: *currently dressing like different kinds of sharks — being filmed for a kid-friendly Shark segment* This one a hammerhead shark! Hammerhead sharks are easy to spot because their heads look like hammers! Daddy says they’re call that a sef-uh… sef-uh- low-foil — ((cephalofoil)). They can see all around, have special Elect— *squints at the promoter* Ee-lek-tro-re-sep-tors ((electroreceptors)) to find food, and they really like eating stingrays!

Vox: Who?

“Zahc”: *bursts in* WHOOHOO! What is up party people!?!

Vox: *raises an eyebrow* A… Hellborn ?

Ava: 😍 DADDY LOOK! HE’S A SHARK!!!

“Zahc”: *sees the kid* Oh no way! I went be tricked again! I don’t hangout with kids! I want that on my record!