Statement on Maaran/ask-shy-heart
Starting off, I would like to thank the people that have supported me, in getting him kicked out of a server filled with minors and then later helping me open up. It has given me the confidence to actually say something and clear up the misinformation heās been spreading.
Ā I have firsthand experience dealing with Shy Heart. I am one of his victims. I was born on the 10th of August 2004, making me currently 15. I first found out about and interacted with SH when I was 11/12 years old, in 2016. I was not in any way secretive about my age at that time, mentioning it openly. At that time, I was being groomed by two men, one of them wasnāt known much at all, his name was Ryan, and the other having a platform, RDash. From what I know, RDash was also grooming multiple other minors at the same time, and he later got called out, more than once causing him to leave the platform. While I was manipulated as the young and naive child I was, into thinking that being sexual is normal and doing it with adults is also normal, I was still very uncomfortable with it most if not all of the time, however as most people who are being groomed, I was scared, i was terrified of leaving or saying something because of the power he had and because I didnāt realize that me complying doesnāt mean Iām the one to blame. The most prominent memory I have of SH, is when RDash messaged me saying one of his friends wanted to call. It was the middle of the night for both of us, RDash and I being in the same timezone while SH was just one hour ahead. Seeing as I feared RDash, I went along with what he asked me to do and went into a private call with Shy Heart. I didnāt realize then that RDash was trying to be a pimp and sent another one of his pedophile friends to me to help them get off. When I joined the call, I saw SH, it was just his shoulders and his face but I could tell he was shirtless and it was very very dark. He asked me what he knew RDash had successfully made me do regularly, and that is to touch myself on call. I obviously declined, SH didnāt have power over me like RDash did so I wouldnāt do shit Iām uncomfortable with to please him. For a long time he kept insisting I do something, being stubborn and persistent as hell, with me declining every time. I want to make it clear once againĀ he knew I was a prepubescent child.Ā
I have a lot of repressed memories from that time so I cannot speak on any other instances, because there would be gaps, and I want my statement to be as clear and factual as possible. However what I am 100% sure of is that every time I interacted with him, he was very creepy and flirty. Around early 2018 my last groomer left me and mid 2018 I took a 2 year break from tumblr and this community. This was due to the fact that I only realised months after I was alone again that I was being manipulated and those two years I tried to focus on getting over certain triggers, interacting with people again and most importantly trying to undo at least a fraction of the manipulation. When I could finally draw mlp digitally without panic attacks, I came back to this community, I started interacting with the fanbase I had abandoned.
And then, SH started interacting with my posts. Then he started talking to me, and eventually we played WoW together. He was still mildly flirty and I remembered the incident that had happened in the past, but I was hoping heād changed. However, the longer we played together the worse heād get and my instant reaction was to comply, I still tried to show that I was uncomfortable multiple times and made him aware of my age but I havenāt recovered so I was yet again, scared of being blunt. I didnāt leave, because he was the only person who played WoW with me, I had no other friends in game, not to mention he was a tank and I was a healer, so dungeons were super fast. So obviously, I just dealt with the comments and continued playing with him, I dealt with his sexualisation and flirting and I even dealt with him misgendering me all the time.
He was so creepy all the time, flirting and sexualising everything. For example:
-I told him I do cosplay and showed him some. He asked about nsfw and how i should send him nsfw versions of my cosplays. I yet again reminded him Iām a minor
- I sent him a photo after a haircut. I sent this photo to multiple people, there was nothing sexual about it, and noone was creepy in any way other than him. He said if he were there he would rip off that towel and pin me against a wall.Ā
But there was one thing that was the worst. You know that thing groomers do where they keep their victims in super long calls so they can isolate them so their judgement is clouded and also tire them out so they would be more compliant and do things they normally wouldnāt? Well when me and SH would play WoW together, weād have calls as long as 9 hours. So yes, there was times where I didnāt bother showing Iām uncomfortable and just went along with what he was saying.Ā
Since my exams were coming up, we stopped playing for a good few weeks, and I avoided him because I didnāt wanna deal with that. I went so far as to end my WoW subscription and play on my fatherās account, just so he wouldnāt be able to know Iām online. Eventually I mentioned to someone I trusted that he made me uncomfortable, and that person managed to get all the info about what had been happening since I came back, and they pushed me to talk to an admin of the server he and I were both in. So yes, I am the one that got him kicked, and I didnāt say anything and wanted it to be kept a secret because a lot of people were supporting him, and Iām a coward so I was scared of the backlash.
Later on, he was being really guilt trippy on Tumblr and so I vented in a server and had this amazing individual talk to me for multiple hours, helping me understand that its not my fault and so I managed to send him a short and sweet message asking him not to contact me again and I blocked him on all platforms. An hour or two after I blocked him, someone sent me the post where he allegedly attempted suicide. Now, Iām not gonna mention everything thatās suspicious about the whole suicide thing here, but you should probably take it with a grain of salt.
About all the posts heās made trying to deflect the blame, here are my thoughts:
-A psychologist would never sayĀ āThis kind of stuff Ā happens, we always do bad stuff on time, we are not the only ones who does it and we get our butt slapsā. Either they are also a pedophile and donāt think itās bad or you made that shit up. Oh yeah sometimes we prey on children haha oops? fucking no???? a psychologist would tell you that its fucked up to be attracted to children and what you did was very illegal and very fucked up.
-Stop saying youāre not as bad as RDash. Just because youāre not as bad as someone else doesnāt make what you did any less fucked up and it doesnāt make it someone elseās fault. That thing where you were friends with him and it influenced you? You were an adult. You mustāve been at least 21 at that time, you can think for yourself, you had a platform just as large as him, there was no reason he could manipulate you into doing something. You were a full grown adult you should know pedophilia isnāt okay.
-Stop fucking stalking me??? You responded to me finally opening up and talking to people yesterday. I said it in a server you werenāt in, a server you were kicked from. Then you made a fucking public post about it??? No. You donāt get to do that, thatās fucked up. I donāt want to associate with you in any way and Iāve already made that clear.
-And in that same post youāre trying to blame me. Youāre trying to say that I started flirting and being sexual and you just went along with it. Stop trying to manipulate the truth, because either way youāre in the wrong and weāre notĀ āboth to blameā. Youāre to blame. Because thatās a flat out lie. Even if I did start it, youāre an adult, you are fully matured, you are 25. A whole decade older than me and you should know its fucked up, even if what you lied about actually happened, going along with it would be fucked up, because you know you have power over me and you know its disgusting and youāre a pedophile. Regular adults would be likeĀ āhey donāt say that Iām not into you youāre a childāĀ
-Youāre also super creepy and flirty with so many people??? children or not, Iāve heard of multiple instances where you were acting creepy towards people. I will not name them because thatās their story to tell not mine, but this isnāt a one time thing.
In conclusion. Youāre a pedophile, you had a chance, you fucked it up by preying on children, no people shouldnāt just let this go and forgive you and give you a chance to be on here because youāre a predator.
Fuck off, stop stalking me and stop using my art you fuckwad.
