Just Here

I feel like a total yutz for doing this, but here goes.

I’m doing the longterm treatment thing for the head trauma issues, working in a medical school experimental program for people with severe post-concussive issues. It’s not a miracle solution by a longshot.

At the moment, I can’t run my business anymore. I can’t reliably get up and out of bed and stand without passing out more than a few days in a week. I can’t go and get a job with fewer responsibilities; passing out at the till doesn’t fly. I’m taking very few and far between commissions since I can’t reliably assure my functionality to meet due dates right now. If you follow me you probably know that I love working, and my work, and currently pursuing disability (and hell if that isn’t a long haul) is one of the most depressing things I’ve ever done. Throwing this on top of my underlying health issues is enough that it’s just physically and mentally overwhelming, and like playing whack-a-mole with my body - subdue one symptom and another one pops up to take the foreground.

At the suggestion of some of my friends, I’m putting a paypal donate button back up on my blog. I guess if people can spare change to help kittens then I’m not far out of the realm of possibility. 

Without working, me and my partner are down to a single income, and while he can cover rent and utilities on my behalf, I have no way to keep up with the things that just automatically pull from my increasingly negative bank account each month along with my medical expenses. Thankfully my treatment program, as a trial, is free, but I still see three specialists regularly, and have to attend physical therapy, neuropsych, longterm monitoring EEG, and the MRIs that are not covered by my insurance.

I’ve cut out everything I can, all the little expenses that people don’t think about, and the big ones (I’m not at DragonCon right now, obviously, and I keep saying I’ll hit NYCC but that’s…really not likely). It’s not enough without anything coming in, I’ve sold all my costumes/props/collectibles, and I just don’t know what to do at this point. In theory I’ll win my disability at some point in the near future, but I have no idea what they expect me to do until then.

I’m still creating, at what pace I can, with my decades-compiled stockpile of fabrics and craft supplies to turn them into something saleable, but that’s also a no-go when I can’t stand up, can’t steady my hands, can’t focus my gaze. If you see me making anything you want, by all means message me about it.

I have a lot of followers, and I dont want to make anybody feel obligated. If you could be kind enough to share, that’s enough, and maybe it’ll get to someone that can help while I get back to my feet.