Wait… Is Garrus really going to go there? Kaidan wondered as the turian began explaining the differences between turian and human male anatomy, using him as an example. Well, okay then.
“So, when you say ‘reproductive organs’ held internally… Do you just mean the testicles, or the whole package? Is the penis retractable?” he tried to ask casually, ignoring the surprised looks that he got in return. “What?” As far as he was concerned, the best way to approach a potentially embarrassing subject was to go for the objective, scientific perspective. At least, it was helping him distance himself a bit from the matter at hand, and not start wishing that the floor could just open up and swallow him already. Not swallow as in… Jesus Christ!
He was rather glad when the drinks finally arrived, and was about to down the content of his own shooter glass, when Shepard made a comment about it being “Asari Piss”. He immediately put his glass back on the table and frowned a bit, wondering if this would really be a good idea.
While he knew that the amount of Red Sand contained in the drinks probably wouldn’t be enough to mess with his implant, or trigger unpleasant memories, he wasn’t sure that he was willing to risk it. After BAaT, he had tried a few things in order to help him deal with the neurological side effects of his migraines, not all of them perfectly legal, and not all of them had had the most positive results. There was no way for him to make sure just how sensitive his biotics might still be to that stuff, but he’d rather not have to test it tonight.
He discretely pushed his glass towards Ashley, and whispered in her ear. “If you like it, you can have mine, too. Actually, it might end up making things more interesting later on.” he added a bit seductively.
He then motioned for the waitress to bring him something else, preferably strong and strictly alcoholic. She suggested something called a “Pulsating Azure” – a mix of Illium’s finest asari hard liquor, some exotic fruit juice, and just a hint of ryncol to give it a little kick. He had to wonder if that one hadn’t been created by Matriarch Aethyta. Nevertheless, it sounded pretty good!
Thankfully, it turned out that it was pretty good. Warm and sweet, but not too sweet, and quite relaxing, too… A few shots, and he was already starting to feel quite a pleasant buzz. He’d have to slow down and be careful since he tended to get drunk pretty easily. Thankfully, his biotic metabolism also meant that he got rid of the alcohol in his system pretty fast, so he rarely got sick or ended up stuck with a hangover the next day (well, besides the usual headache). But still, if he wanted Ash and him to be able to find their way back to their apartment later on, he might as well be reasonable.
“Wait. You guys serve moose?!” he suddenly exclaimed when the waitress came back to take their orders, sounding a tad bit overexcited. The menu had a section that offered different planets’ delicacies, including Earth; he just didn’t expect them to actually have moose on the menu! “Is it wild or domesticated? ‘cause wild meat has more of a nice, tangy, earthy taste to it that…” he suddenly stopped talking when he noticed that the asari waitress was looking back at him with a puzzled expression, as if saying ‘how the Hell am I supposed to know?’.
“Right. Sorry. My granddad used to be a hunter so…” thankfully, it occurred to him that she probably wasn’t interested in hearing about his whole family history, either. “I uh… I’ll have the moose steak. Rare, please.”
He listened to Ashley explain to Garrus what they had been up to following the Reapers war. “Yeah, Earth carried too many memories for me at the time being.” he added quietly, eyes turning a bit sad as he thought about his parents, instinctively grabbing Ashley’s hand for support.
Shortly after his father had gone M.I.A., his mother had decided to volunteer with the Alliance’s medical corps in order to help them provide care for the wounded and refugees.
According to his cousin, she had been driving herself mad while staying at the orchard, knowing that her son and countless other Alliance soldiers were out there, fighting and trying to save them. She felt that she just needed to do something – anything – to help them and hopefully make a difference. Sadly, one of the refugee camps that she had been assisting was later destroyed in one of the Reapers attacks while she was there. Still, she had helped save many lives, and Kaidan was deeply proud of what she had done.
As much as he wished that she had chosen to stay safe sometimes, his mom had never been one to sit idly or go into hiding when things got rough, and had always been a bit stubborn. Maybe he did take a lot after her, after all…
Understanding and accepting didn’t make him miss his parents any less, though.
“Plus, we thought that being on the Citadel would make it more convenient for the Council to get in touch with us if we were needed for Spectre duties.” he explained, choosing not to go into more details, since he didn’t want to be responsible for dampening the mood.
It thus almost came as a relief when Shepard chose to change the subject and elaborate on the intricacies of turian / human coupling instead. Almost.
Kaidan chuckled at Ashley’s question regarding their current topic. “Yeah. Not quite what I’d expected as first subject of conversation for the night…” he acknowledged, wondering if they would all end up talking about boring, casual stuff later on when really drunk. “Though Garrus should probably be thankful to be protected by natural armor if Shepard brings her vanguard abilities to the bedroom.” he teased. After all, vanguards weren’t exactly renowned for their gentleness and control when it came to biotics. And there probably was a difference between enjoying “primal sex”, and having a partner that could make you fly through a solid wall.
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