🖕 😙 🖕

I’m truly blessed. 

Ah. I see. That…makes sense. Well, at least you know, there out there if you ever wanna contact them.  Family is..complicated. No matter what form it takes.  Trust me.  

I don’t really want to, if I’m being totally honest. I don’t count them as family. Just because you’re related to someone... that doesn’t make them family. 

Joking aside, I do actually hope it goes well for you.

Who said I was joking?

Oh? Well, thank you for the mental visual of you getting spanked. 

You’re gonna have to explain this to me.  You’ve never met them? 

You’re welcome.

Oh, uh... my dad’s kind of what you’d call a giant manwhore. I’ve never met him either, actually. I just know there’s a lot of us running around.

Eh. I’m more of a lover than a fighter. I mean, down get to get spanked or whatever but that’s more fun than it is you getting pissed off. 

Yeah. I suppose I get there. There was a time when me and my brothers were all that close but..well, life, I guess. 

Okay, but who isn’t down to get spanked? It’s 2020, dude.

I mean, I technically have brothers - I think even a sister or two, but I’ve never even spoken to most of them. I just know they’re out there. 

I’m not mocking you. I genuinely think that answer, and you, are cute as hell.  Half tempted to comment on your ass but I won’t. 

But it sounds like the two of you are close. 

Oh. Good. I’d hate to have to beat your ass. I’m generally more of a pacifist. 

We are. We’re the only family each of us has got, so... we have no choice, really. 

Oh god. That’s literally cutest possible answer to that question and like, suddenly you are smooth as fuck. That’s adorable.  Heh. She’s clearly very, very lucky to have you if you’re  first thought is that.

 Heh. 

I can’t tell if you’re mocking me, but either way... I’m not changing my answer. My ma’s the best fucking person I know. She put up with my wild ass all by herself. 

Why would I want to steal That’s So Asher, when my name is Knox?

Because Asher’s a better name? I don’t know, you tell me. You’re the one stealing it.

Yeah? Thank you. Most people think it means I am too high maintenance. 

Oh no, I could never do that. I have had friends who have done it, but it feels out of my comfort zone. I was thinking more like getting my nails done, a massage, simple things like that. 

So? Just because they’re willing to settle, doesn’t mean you should feel bad about not doing the same.

I was talking about a movie, bro. I don’t have anything. 

Fine, a Stockholm syndrome mentality, than.

A compelling take. But who says there can’t be romance in hookups? 

Didn’t say there couldn’t be. But this is more than that. It’s a Valentine’s Day hookup.

Oh yeah? And what would you your made up holiday then? 

Oh yeah, super charming. 

Hmm. I don’t know. Probably something like... Everyone Has To Be Nice To My Mom day. But with a shorter name. She’s gone through enough shit, she deserves a day off, you know? Then again, I guess that’s kind of like Mother’s Day. But that’s not really exclusively for her. 

Sorry, I forgot that masculinity is fragile. Bad leprechaun habit — I wasn’t aware that it was an experience but to answer your initial question, no, as long as you get a verbal confirmation of their understanding, it’s not terrible. 

Yeah, wasn’t a toxic masculinity thing, it was a I don’t know you thing. Relax.

Let me know how it goes with the annoying girls. I’m invested now.

I’ll add you to the email update list.

Here I go again finding ways to keep busy the whole weekend until I realize I have barely given myself chances to relax. Please tell me I can rely on some of you wonderful people to tell me some things I can do for fun? 

I mean.... fun’s pretty subjective, don’t you think? How are we supposed to just know what you’d find fun? Like, I could suggest getting drunk off your ass and setting off firecrackers, but that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. 

I don’t think I agree with you.

I’ll survive.

I’m psychic, obviously?

And yet you have the audacity to judge me for the same thing? You’re just jealous that I thought of That’s So Asher, before you could steal it.

And whose definition of boring are we going with here?

Mine, obviously. Yours is questionable at best.