Happy Ace Week 💜 Here's your regularly scheduled reminder that asexual people belong in the queer community because WE. ARE. QUEER!
Being Ace is Not a Choice Asexuality ≠ Celibacy! Many Aces TRY to feel attraction despite being unable. This can make them feel broken, wrong, and confused. It can take young Aces many years of suffering before they finally figure out that their sexuality just works differently from others. Being Ace is Not Just Low Libido Aces have a range of libidos. Many have a low libido and abstain from sex, but others have high libidos and enjoy sex for a number of reasons. Libido is your sex drive; the urge to partake in sexual activities. This urge is separate from attraction, which is WHO you feel sexual desire for. Aces are Not Heterosexual Heterosexuality = “attraction to the opposite sex”. Since Aces do not feel attraction to ANY gender or sex, they don’t fall under this definition. This point requires some nuance because many Ace sub-labels (such as Demisexual) CAN experience attraction in a limited or fluctuating capacity. However, the way that these labels experience sexuality still falls outside of what heterosexual society deems as “normal” attraction and can cause compatibility issues in relationships with non-Aces. That being said, some Aces still choose to identify with the Heterosexual label if it resonates with them. You can be both Heterosexual AND Ace, but being Ace is not the same as being Heterosexual! Discrimination/Struggle Happens Many people claim that Aces do not experience any discrimination and thus they don't belong in the queer community. This couldn't be further from the truth. Corrective assault, “it’s just a phase,” getting called mentally/physically ill, “you haven’t met the right person yet” are just a few examples. On top of the blatant discrimination listed above, Aces also deal with other struggles in our very sexual society, particularly when seeking romantic relationships. Aces who are sex-repulsed struggle to keep their partners satisfied in bed. Likewise, non-Ace partners often feel rejected and uncomfortable with the notion that Aces don't find them attractive. This disappointment from their partners can weigh heavily on Aces and make them feel broken/wrong.
Thank you for coming to my Ace talk hehehe. If you're Ace I hope you feel validated. If you're not, I hope you learned something!
If you like my lil ace bunnies, I have them as stickers in my shop!
