A.R.U 🌞

well, you will wake up the next morning. you will not be alone because your dear friend brought you to their house. they were afraid for the same reasons you were. so love will be right beside you as you weigh this life altering change in the pit of your stomach. still haven’t hit you. worst is yet to come, months later down the line in a brand new city. hardly nothing surprises you. years of bullshit down the belt . but right now in the present moment you will wake up, search for coffee, realize there is no coffee, and order breakfast. the curtainless windows will stream bright summer sunlight into the living room and you will soak it up sitting on that couch, glitching between the before and after. friends will offer you words to carry for eternity. you will be fed, clothed and housed. gradually a routine will be built in a space your friend does not know is a safe haven. eventually the process to pick up the pieces will begin and you will do this with a lot of help. every obstacle you were afraid of, you will endure, but never alone. and once she is buried, you will repeat the process day by day. life will not return to you fully. i will not lie to you about the after. you will exist between two worlds where she was alive and your lives were a tapestry with dreams ready to be launched. and then the other? where reality lives? every night you will hold her cold body against your chest. warmth will be impossible to find. grief will consume you in ways you can’t fathom a human body could experience. sometimes you will confide in your friends and sometimes they will have lives to endure themselves. world is in pieces. things are very difficult but hope resides in many of those pieces if you know how to look. so yes you will still wake up the next day, you will search for coffee, actually find it in your kitchen, have breakfast and pray you get to build on this fresh new found soil. perhaps maybe even get to keep this life. you will still want to keep trying. and despite most things hardly ever surprising you, this might surprise you occasionally.