Random Little Things

      The youth of today is full of promises and hopes. They have their dreams on top of their shoulders waiting to be fulfilled. They are restless and imaginative. The HuGas Magazine of the HUMSS & GAS offers delightful and heartwarming experiences and lessons that they have pondered in their lives. This magazine entails how the youth of today strive hard to win in this game of life. The youth of today is the great manifestation that the youth has more to offer in this society. Equipped with the skills and abilities of a winner, the youth will go far and surely, they can reach their goals.

      Just be yourself and never stop chasing your dreams because YOU are the hope of the future xx

Change is constant                                                                           

Especially when it is distant              

Their perspective changes so as their faces                                                       

Their eyes that don’t lie                                                 

Fades like ashes in the sky    

It’s hard to understand sometimes

But sometimes you need to do a little sacrifice                                                                

Change is constant                          

But you need to adapt to the complexities of time 

Nothing is permanent and you just need to go on      

Like the clouds that continues to move in the sky              

I opened my eyes and it was 8 ‘o clock in the morning. I saw my mom sitting at the left side of the bed. I stared upon the dextrose inserted on my left hand. The IUD continued to drop. This day would surely mark in my whole life even until my last breath. Minutes from now and my life would change. I don’t know what’s ahead of me but I’m certain that things would be different. I would have my Fistulectomy operation. It is a surgical procedure where a fistulous tract is excised (cut out) completely. It is an operation  related with the intestines. 

I took off the black rosary bracelet on my wrist and I said my little prayer silently. I watched my mom slowly fading as the nurses traveled me to the operating room. That would be probably my last memory before my operation. My heart beat was so fast and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach.  The room was quite far and it felt like we were in a maze. We went sideways and turn until we reached the end of the room. It felt weird because as we were near the operating room, loud music welcomed me. The beat of the music joined my heart beat. The feeling was surreal. I saw the lights above my head. The apparatuses were like machines that monitors the vital signs of the patient. The syringes, scissors and scalpels that were sterilized were like shining silvers. I thought I could only see this in movies but now, it was really in front of me. I don’t know what to feel inside because I was clueless about what lies ahead of me. Many questions clouded my mind and fear started to crawl into my system. Minutes have passed but the doctor was still missing in action. An hour has left but there were still no signs of the doctor. A commotion outside the room caught my attention. The nurses hurriedly fixed the tools and the doctor came. He readied his syringe and checked it first before he would inject it to me. I remembered that he told me that the injection (anesthesia) will not be painful but it will numb my whole lower part of the body. The injection was just like a bite of an ant. Seconds have passed and I can’t feel my toes anymore. I can only see the striking light above me and the nurses surrounding me. They kept on talking as the operation started. I could not understand what they were talking but I’m sure it was about politics. It’s ironic to think that they are in the medical field and yet they keep on debating about politics. I stared at the wall clock situated at the right corner of the room. I kept on wondering how long the operation would take. The blood pressure bothered me for a while because it kept on contracting making my biceps tighter in the band. My hands twitched and jerked at some moments as a side effect of the anesthesia. The twitching would last about seconds up to minutes. As the operation goes on, I can’t feel any pain or anything in my body. 20 minutes has passed but I was not able to sleep or feel unconscious. It’s just that in movies that when someone undergoes a surgery, he will suddenly become unconscious because of the injection.

Maybe I’m just that strong to fight all the depressants in my body.

I tried to close my eyes to sleep but the doctor looked at me and said that the operation was done. I felt relieve because the operation was done and I have my hopes high that everything will be fine. I was sent in a recovery room and still, monitored my vitals. There, I slept and rested for a couple of hours before I will come back to my ward.

It was around 3’ o clock in the afternoon, I was awakened by the nurse that checked my IUD. She declared that I will be sent back to my ward and I can only take any food after 5 pm. The news made me happy but at the same time sad because I was really feeling weak and I wanted to eat.

My mom was the first person I saw in my ward. She was preparing for my bed and the things that I would need. Happiness rolled over me because the operation was a success. But fears always clouded my mind because I don’t know what would happen next.

I just closed my eyes again to ignore the starting pain in my stitches and stomach. I just realized that everything I gone through was something like in the movies. The experience was cool but I don’t want to experience it again in my life.

You know why?

It’s not just about the bills and medicines that would eat up your savings but operations, like mine, open wounds that would leave scars in your life.

Depression, anxiety and fears will be your friends. Once you go on an operation, your life would not be the same. It would take you months or years to go back in your normal life. Recovery is not that easy. The anesthesia still lingers on your system making you feel high or down.  You can feel many emotions at one point. You feel sad about the things you can’t do because your moves are limited. There were many “what ifs” and “I wish” on my mind during my recovery stage. And at one point, I just break down.

It’s not easy especially when studies and projects go along.

But one thing I learned in my experience that I would keep forever in my life is that you should NEVER GIVE UP because many people love you and believe in you. The ones who love you will be there even you feel useless. They are the ones who will encourage you to stand up and face your challenges. And they will not turn your back at you; instead they will have open arms to embrace you.

Just do your best and God will do the rest.

Life is too short to worry about many things. We are given only one chance to live but once are enough if we do it right.

Life is not about being perfect but it’s about being real. Being real is to shake off the mask in our faces.

Life is about finding people who will be there for you not only in your ups but most especially in your downs. People come and go in our lives. Some would leave memories that are worth to remember but some would leave scars that remind you stories you wish you never heard. And yet, the lessons from your mistakes create you to something better.

Life is not about failing but how you stand up on every failure. The first step to success is to experience first failures because you would not feel the essence of success if you don’t work for it. People will pull you down but the sweetest revenge you can give is to do things that they say you can’t do. Prove them wrong and shame will eat them alive. Don’t work too hard to please other people but work hard to achieve your dreams and goals in life.

Our life here on earth has a purpose. We live because we have a mission to be fulfilled. We have our dreams and aspirations in life because it gives us directions on where to go and it becomes a fuel to live and move forward. We hope to see the most beautiful sunsets in our lives before we die and we work hard for it to happen.

The greatest pleasures in life are free. We just need to open our eyes to the horizon. Don’t mind what other people would say about you because what matters most is that you know yourself more than them and you love the life you’re living now.

2 am

It’s now 2 am and I can’t sleep. Thoughts of you run inside my head.  It’s been three months since the last day I talked to you. And probably, it was the end of us. Everything is still fresh in my memory. You left me hanging like a telephone waiting for an answer. You said you loved me and you were in love with me but why do I feel this way. The words that marked my head were “loved” and “were in love”. It’s all past tense. I thought I could save our ship but you cast away the sails easily. I was drowning with your love and hopeful promises wishing one day it could all happen. I know it’s impossible to happen now but my hope is still there. My heart skipped a beat every time I saw you. I just remember how happy I am when I was with you. You told me stories I never heard and took me to places I’ve never been. I thought you are the one for me but life happens, you fell out of love. I don’t know where I went wrong. I gave my all and I was left nothing. Maybe, it’s one of my regrets in loving you. I treated you as someone special but you treated me like a fool. You’re so good at first. You even surpassed Romeo for being the sweetest and most romantic person I knew. But people do change. You became silent and cold like the frozen mammoths in Ice Age. I don’t know what happened. It was fast like a blink of an eye. And I wish I could turn back the time and fixed everything in all of my might and power. You were worth the save but you never fought for your place in my life. You know my priorities and goals in life. I thought you were the one who will understands me first in my most vulnerable and fragile moment.  We fight, quarrel and shout with one another. I was tired and you were tired. Everything went wrong and it was not good anymore. You hated me but I loved you. We decided to end up everything for our good but it didn’t cause me good at all. I was lost in the darkness of my soul and trapped in a cage of my despair. I tried to forget everything we had but you engraved your soul into mine. It was really hard waking up each day knowing you will not be back again. It’s been 3 months since you left me and it’s time to move on. 3 months was too long for my agony. I deserved someone better than you.

Painted Skies Above You

     The vast canvas on top of our head that we called the sky is one of the greatest masterpiece that I have ever seen in my entire life. It’s amazing how each clouds were perfectly sculpted and how the bursting of colors in the sky blends and compliments with one another. The sun rises each morning and reigns for the whole day giving the warmth and vigor of the masterpiece. It sets on dusk and surprisingly awe us with a perfect picturesque of a landscape. Sunsets reminds us that not all endings are sad, some are beautiful and tremendous. When the night falls, the blanket that covers the infinite world turns to a magnificent and glistening night sky. The stars that were thrown away in the deep sea of darkness outshines their beauty and flashes like sea shells in the sea shore.

   The painted skies above are head sometimes depict our emotions and feelings. The gloominess of the sky illustrates the sadness in our days while the bright blue sky represents happiness and joy.

  Our life can be likened to the painted skies above us. Raging storms come and cause devastation and triumphs just like our problems. But in the end,sunshine prevails and new beginning rises. There will always be a rainbow after every rain.  The painted skies above our head surely put smiles in our faces and gives hope and inspiration. It reminds us that our lives is like the sky that goes on and on no matter what happen. We can’t predict what would be our future just like how we can’t predict the clouds that will show the next day.

  In this cycle we called life, we learn to appreciate every painted skies we encounter because it’s just one of the Creator’s way to show His wonderful love to humankind.