ghost of a good thing

“I am tired of hating myself, tired of loathing. / I want to be carried in a petal / sling, sling of satin and cream, / I want to be dazed, I want the waking sleep.”

“I want to have more sex, travel more, drink more wine and love life.”

“In this story, you are the moon and I am the sun and I chase you round the earth with my arms wide open until we settle into the atmosphere. Every day I write you a star and it’s in this way that the whole sky fills with what I feel for you. In another story I meet you in the frame of a still life, with your goblets of wine and your bowls of fruit all arranged just so. In another, I meet you again; this time in a garden, your mouth like a pomegranate, red and hungry. It’s here we fall in love; in this story and the one after and the one after that. Since the beginning of time, it’s been like this; this returning to the heart of you so like the ocean does to shore. Somewhere, light years away, we are lying in a field- maybe foxes, maybe two flowers, maybe as we are right now- staring into the infinity of space. I trace the universe onto the expanse of your back and try to tell you the story of the stars but every time, it’s your name in my mouth; your thousand and thousand names.”

“(and what have you to say, wind wind wind – did you love somebody and have you the petal of somewhere in your heart pinched from dumb summer?”

“She smiled at me, and I felt a sudden burning tenderness for this creature so like fruit and roses. I desired her like blue water at dawn.”

“Travel and tell no one, live a true love story and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things.”

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk through my garden forever.”

“Grief never ends. But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.”

“blackberries and smushed blueberries and fresh wildflowers wilting in a vase next to dandelions and blisters under polka dot bandaids and dimmed lamps and new drinks that make my nose crinkle up and the number 20 doesn’t seem so small anymore”

“Moonlight is sculpture; sunlight is painting.”

“Once, I saw a bee drown in honey, and I understood.”

“Do I exhaust you? Does the sky get tired of its heart burning all day long?”