All I ever wanted was the world 🐞

I can’t stop thinking that I almost had it all. It wakes me up in the middle of the night and it’s starting to get ridiculous. 

Can we be depressed and not realize it ? Or be in denial ?

My grandma is very sick and I wouldn’t even be able to get back there because I have no place to go. I am broke as fuck, it makes me so anxious. 

I turned 26 on the 12th of October and it was a disaster. Got into a ridiculously big fight with my family for no reason. My mum told me I was sad because I was a bad person. Thank’s for making me feel better mum, really.

We made up recently but I still hold grudges because in my family, we don’t apologize or talk about our issues, we just pretend it never happened, except I’m not like that. That doesn’t work on me.

I miss the feeling of starting the life of my dreams.