don't forget, don't forget

♡♡♡     a charming child, approaching her without fear of reprimand. without eyes bright with wonder, tone filled with awe. to see the world with skeptic’s eye. rati’s laughter, like arsenic, soaked the air, a corrosive threat. (was it really so threatening? or was that the nature of the beast?)

❝ … desire, my dear, can often go unfulfilled. ❞ delicate fingers comb through rose hued locks, drawing the heavy mass of her hair over her shoulders.  ❝ You must grow and overcome your unfulfilled desires. And if you cannot, you will be swallowed whole… desire is a nature which is as beautiful as it is vile. ❞

  “ something about how being 'desired’ back by the person you 'desire’ is      to be the luckiest person in the world , or some shit like that ?      i figured as much. man , why would i bother asking . . . ”

  what fear would exist here ? a heathen , god forsaken cannot fear being casted out when god had already carried out punishment against her and her family ( it was solely her fault , no one else to blame ) even after being carried on by the goddess , it lingers. it stings , the blood on her hands would never come off. she cannot bear to think she was something like an ‘ angel ’ after all the atrocity she had committed. happiness in heaven promised to her , instilled into her from birth almost like an hypnotic trance -- and when she was at the gates , from the top of the staircase , her heart was empty. unwillingly , looking up and away , she remembers that which she wished to lead away and repress.

  ‘ if you really are god , ’    the static in red eyes.

  ‘ then you are nothing but . . . ’    the answer is blurred out.

  how could one moment change everything ? rot away , melt it away , the years of love vanishing in an instant. had she not committed the same sin that had plagued her family and sent it to death with the strike of a flame ? the clock ticks down , sitting with a head held low. a voice speaks out from behind the curtains of the theater. she recognizes it. ‘ i’m sorry. ’ tears spilling down into the blue glow that would soon vanish.

  ‘ you were right.     i really am nothing but a parasite. ’

  the hand that would reach out , simply stays still and the clock breaks.

“ you . . . tell me one thing , if yer the goddess of ' desire ' and shit like that . . . how are ya supposed to stop longing for someone that will never be yours ? ”

her gaze is full of skepticism.