hi eden :)

Brown is a beautiful color FUCK all the propaganda trying to convince us its ugly.

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

if you see me liking contradicting headcanons for the same character just know it's because I do not give a fuck and I have an active imagination #hewouldsaythat

sometimes it’s not about ‘would he say that or do that’ it’s more like that would be hilarious if he did because I have a jester’s heart

fired from my job at the microbiology lab and having to carry all my things out in a little cardboard box the size of a thimble

in all fairness, toddlers are funny as fuck. babies will cry because they are experiencing at least ten different senses for the first time all at once and it’s a bit overwhelming for them. fair enough. toddlers will make the most wretched sound you’ve ever heard because you wouldn’t let them run out into a car park and die

making wetfood slop for the beasts and all three of them are weaving around my feet and desperately begging like “MOMMMM PLEASE GIVE US THAT WE LOVE THAT WE WANT IT PLEAAAAAAAAASE CAN WE HAVE IT” like. yeah guys i wasn’t planning on keeping it for myself i don’t think any of you have ever seen me decide to drink salmon pate soup out of your three individual cat bowls. but i guess you never know

Whenever I have to make a difficult phone call, I always make sure to freak myself out really bad about it first and imagine every worse case scenario that could happen where they track me down and rip my heart out of my chest for daring to call with bad news. I do this for at least 30 minutes and for up to three hours before I make the call and then, yup, you guessed it, the phone call goes just fine and they're not even mad at me. And then i make sure not to learn from that so that I can still get really scared next time too.