The Order of Mongo

It’s crazy to think it’s been a year already since I started working at eBay. I’ve learned so much in this past year, not just about the company, people, and culture, but also simply about myself and what I value in my career. I’ve faced a number of challenges in my role, primarily at the beginning while my boss Marie was out on maternity leave. I had marching orders, but onboarding into my new job and hitting the ground running definitely wasn’t easy. Our department’s director even told me that I’ve had the most difficult onboarding of anyone they’ve hired, but I still pushed through and have become an invaluable member of the team.

My first and still top priority in my role is to be the webmaster of the eBay Partner Network website. The old website was in dire need of a redesign, and the remainder of 2016 was spent moving the website to a new platform, new design, and fortify the site for SEO with international targeting. Thus, this ended up not only being one single website, but also mirroring it with translations for German, French, Italian, and Spanish. Plus, I had to make sure that our UK site utilized British English, so in total I was responsible for six versions of our website. You can check out the hard work I’ve done at partnernetwork.ebay.com.

While working diligently on our website, I was also responsible for coming up with a customer lifecycle plan, which included marketing actions to communicate with our users during each stage of the customer funnel. This was a really hard task for me since I hadn’t done it before, and honestly it could’ve turned out better. However, it did lay the groundwork for our overall marketing plans for 2017 and I learned a great deal from my team throughout the process.

As we moved into 2017, we added new content to the website and launched new onboarding emails for our publishers, many of which was written by me and even has my name on the signature of the emails. As Marie came back from maternity leave, I took over the main acquisition phase of our customer lifecycle, which even led me to attend the BlogHer conference and help man our booth to recruit new publishers. You can see a photo of our booth up above, and a happy photo of some of our team that attended the event below:

Continuing into the second half of 2017, our acquisition efforts are on track and above goal (which is great for me), so we’ve shifted our focus toward productivity of our publishers. I have a ton of things in the works right now, with numerous action plans in place and tasks assigned to me. It’s never a dull moment at work, but thanks to the company culture and my really kick-ass boss, it never feels overwhelming. 

I can’t accurately describe how happy I am with my job right now. I’m doing really meaningful work, that’s recognized and appreciated by my team and management. I even enjoy coming to work every day! It’s almost surreal to say that, especially when I think back to where I was 5 or even 10 years ago. I’m finally hitting my stride and I’m in a great place to be involved in some really awesome opportunities. 

As I watched my beloved Seahawks fall short of a 3rd straight NFC Championship appearance this morning, I came to a sudden and uncanny realization: this wasn’t the first time I’ve been in this, and many other situations. Strangely enough, the heartbreak I experienced due to my watching my favorite football team losing a game was something I had experienced 10 years ago, which made me realize that there were a few other things that were taking place currently that were similar to 10 years ago.

10 years ago...

...the Seahawks lost Superbowl 40, thanks in part to some really terrible officiating

...I bought my E46 M3

...was the big comeback for EVA-00, reaching the pinnacle with a “Best of Show” win at Battle of the Imports (as seen above)

...I graduated from UW with my Master of Communications in Digital Media

...I quit my IT job at UW and began my career in marketing at World One Performance

...I was an editor with Subiesport Magazine and developing my photography career

...I upgraded to a Nikon D200

...I shot my first Formula DRIFT event

...was Stephanie’s infamous “Pretty in Pink” NASIOC thread and corresponding “French Kiss” feature in Subiesport

...I shot my first two weddings

...I went on my last official “cruise” with the local NWIC folks

2006 was a pretty big year, and there were a lot of things that changed in my life. Mid-way through January 2016, I’m already starting to see and feel very similar changes that might just happen this year. It almost feels like a 10-year cycle of sorts, since I find myself feeling a bit of anxiety about the changes to come. Those who know me best are fully aware that I very rarely get nervous about anything. Perhaps that’s what doing piano recitals since I was 5 years old will do to you...so when I feel even the slightest bit anxious about something, it almost completely consumes me. I’ve already been losing sleep over it, and because these are things that I can actually control (at least partially), I have every reason to worry about it. I feel like there’s an extreme pressure on me to succeed and perform as well as I possibly can, not just because other people depend on me for it, but because I know it’s the right thing for me to do to progress forward in life. Thus, it’s definitely moving toward good things, but the fear of failure is very strong.

On the flipside, there are certain things that haven’t changed at all in 10 years, and the lack of change gives me anxiety as well. I’m not getting any younger and there definitely feels like there are some gaping holes in my life that I’ve yet to fill. It’s not for lack of trying either, which is what makes it feel worse to me. It feels like I’ve been failing on some of these aspects for the past 10 years, no matter what I do. I suppose that at least writing this stuff out here will be a little therapeutic, but only time will tell.

The first half of 2015 started off swimmingly, with me saying, “Hopefully, by the end of 2015, I’ll have a generally more positive bulleted list of conclusions and contemplations.” Unfortunately, that certainly isn’t the case. If anything, the second half of 2015 further fueled my annoyance, distrust, and overall cynicism that plagued the first half of the year.

2015 was full of -isms: racism, sexism, etc. While the vast majority of these didn’t affect me directly, they did affect those around me and close to me, to the degree that it’s almost unfathomable as to why these -isms still exist today. Perhaps they never actually went away, and people just got very good at covering it up? I refuse to believe that it’s some sort of media conspiracy that’s making us all pussies; it’s more often than not the people who want to blame the media or anyone other than themselves that are a huge part of the problem. Either way, there were more than a few cases in 2015 where what seemed to be a perfectly fine situation was ruined because some asshole decided to be selfish, rather than caring about the team/group/society in general. This held true at work, among friends/family, and in the larger community as a whole.

Speaking of assholes, that seemed to be the ongoing theme for most of 2015. I unfriended/unfollowed a lot of people simply because their posts/thoughts/opinions make them look like a total asshole. I respect that we all have different opinions on things, but if your opinion turns into publicly supporting people/beliefs that belittle, degrade, talk down to, or humiliate other people, particularly for your own benefit, then you are an asshole. Don’t give me this bullshit about how it’s freedom of speech to say whatever you want, because it’s just as much my freedom of speech to call you and asshole too. The number of assholes I’ve encountered in 2015 is frightening, and it makes me worried about all of our futures. We can’t let the assholes win at anything: it’s a moral obligation as much as it might be a legal one.

Finally, speaking of legal obligations, 2015 seemed like the year of businesses trying to get around copyright issues and getting as much as they possibly can for free. I filed more copyright infringement cases this year than ever before, and many people that I know had even worse experiences than I did with people stealing their work and using it without permission. The ignorance excuse can no longer be used at this point: all of these people know what they’re doing is wrong, and they’re just trying to get away with it for as long as possible. I will continue to fight the good fight for myself and on behalf of everyone that this affects.

Last September, I wrote about Things I Learned This Summer, so I figured now would be a good time for a bit of a sequel. This time, it’s not so much things I learned, but more about observations and food for thought. In no particular order, here goes:

The automotive scene has turned into high school and college. At this point in time, I often find myself feeling like I’m a Junior in college, unable to stop shaking my head at all the young, inexperienced, and ignorant high school kids that have no idea what’s ahead of them. Plus, just like high school and college, everyone has their little cliques that butt heads with others. It’s almost laughable how some people have seemingly graduated from high school, but just found other ways to revert back to acting like they’re still in it, mainly because now the tables have turned and now they’re the “cool kids” as opposed to being the outcasts that they were before graduating. Thus, now the bullied have often now become the bullies.

Some people literally have no originality, and/or refuse to do anything original, because it’s too difficult. I’ve seen this happen with people in almost every facet of my life in the past six months.

Certain people exist just to be trolls, and just to piss people off. I can’t tell if they get some sort of gratification from it, or they just simply don’t realize that they live under a bridge. It’s not like they say or do something and don’t realize that they’re being a dick: they KNOW they’re being a dick, but they do it anyway. Furthermore, they come up with every excuse in the book to justify their behavior, such as but certainly not limited to: “it’s my freedom of speech,” “I was just kidding,” “can’t you take a joke,” “you need to grow a thicker skin,” and my absolute favorite, “I’m not racist, but...”

I have neither the time, nor the patience, to play nice with copyright infringers. Their shit is getting reported and removed without any sort of “hey, can you please take that down?” or “let’s work something out so I get credit” kind of discussion. They know full well what they’re doing is illegal, so there’s no point in attempting any sort of conversation with them.

I’m extremely proud of all of my Photoshop students, and seeing them be successful truly warms my heart. This is a feeling that can’t really be expressed thoroughly with words.

Green or blue eyes has really been getting to me lately. I don’t know what it is, but too often lately I’ve just been wowed.

Excuses! Don’t give me excuses, give me solutions. I couldn’t care less why you couldn’t get something done on time or why it’s all fucked up, just get it done right!

Bad things happen to good people, for no good reason. I honestly can’t believe it has anything to do with “it was meant to be,” or “it’s God’s will,” or “it’s karma.” Sometimes people just simply get jacked through no fault of their own, and there definitely isn’t any life lesson to be learned from the experience. At least when you get jacked in Mario Kart, you can choose to NOT PLAY THE DAMN GAME EVER AGAIN.

I honestly don’t understand how some people can actually live through life, when they seemingly cannot read, cannot understand basic logic, nor have enough observational skills to realize that “hey, maybe I’m not signing up for the right thing.”

I love my S3. I really do believe I’ll be hanging onto this car for a long time.

I know of a few people who continue to hold grudges against me because I called them out on their bullshit, and that pill of truth was too hard for them to swallow. Thus, rather than taking the truth to heart, they just try to avoid me at all costs, which is perfectly fine by me.

When a few of your close friends advise you to stay away from someone because they’re not good people and can’t be trusted, why do you not stay away from them, but also take their advice? You’ll learn the hard way that they’re a fuckhead and then bitch to us afterward, as if we’ll have sympathy for you.

When I’m on a team, I’m all in for the team. I drink the kool-aid. Thus, when I see one of my teammates giving credit or the benefit of the doubt to one of our competitors, it really pisses me off. Who’s team are you on?! Fuck those guys! I’m not talking about sports here, btw.

I want to write a book. I’m not sure what the book will be about; I’ve had a few ideas for a novel, but I’ve also thought about non-fiction or even something educational as well. I just don’t know when I’ll have the time to just sit down and start writing, aside from these occasional Tumblr posts. At least for something educational, I’ve already did some groundwork with my old grad school paper on Import Automotive Culture.

Family, above all else. I just saw my brother, sister-in-law, and nieces and nephew over the weekend, and I miss them terribly already. My eldest niece is graduating from high school next year, and she’s hoping to go to UC Berkeley for college. I couldn’t be more proud of her.

These days, I’m about as forgiving as Emperor Palpatine. Fuck me over, and forgiveness is not an option.

“You don’t understand it, because it’s art” is the worst excuse for anything creative. I don’t understand it because it SUCKS, “art” actually requires some attractive aesthetics. And who am I to judge? I’m The Hammer, and that’s all that needs to be said on that subject!

$10 is apparently too expensive of an entrance fee to an all-day event, while $10 spent on Starbucks and McDonald’s is a perfectly acceptable daily occurrence.

I still don’t trust people in general. People don’t put others’ interests ahead of their own. All they care about is what’s in it for them.

Seemingly every day, something on the news depresses me. The horrible things that happen are bad enough, but the opinions of people that comment and/or post about it are even worse. I feel like 99% of them have no idea WTF they’re talking about, yet they talk down to others as if they’re actually smart.

2014 was easily the best overall year I've had in recent memory. I met some awesome people, became a full time employee at Fluke, took some of the best photos I've ever taken, gone to places that I've always wanted to go to since childhood, discovered some really great music, made some really positive life changes, and all of my loved ones are healthy. Oh yeah, and THE SEAHAWKS WON THE SUPERBOWL! 

Nevertheless, there are still some things that aren't so positive, and continue to linger into 2015. Moving on from some of these things isn't easy, and I continue to struggle with them despite my best efforts. It's frustrating when you try so hard to move on or separate yourself from the things that bring you down, yet they always somehow creep back into your life and mind. On top of that, there are still things that I wanted to accomplish in 2014 that I wasn't able to with no excuses. Those of course will be a focus for 2015 going forward, but the disappointment still stings either way.

I'm not paranoid, I swear it. Really, I'm not.

I just simply don't trust people anymore, at least those outside of my close family and friends that have been vetted -- and I really do mean vetted. Facebook friends? Well, unless I've known you personally for some time, no, I don't trust you. That isn't to say I'm going to disrespect you (unless of course you've disrespected me first), just that I don't trust you. 

It wasn't always like this. If you looked at me 10 years ago, I was a very trusting person. I was very social, quick to make friends, expand my network, and I felt that everyone had a good heart. As I've grown older, experienced various things, and seen what people can do to my family, friends and I, that person I was 10 years ago all but went away. People these days care more about what's in it for them rather than simply doing what's right.

You can’t assume people will do the right thing; in fact, you’re safe to assume that they’ll do the complete opposite.

You think that business truly wants to help you get exposure and become more successful? Nope, they want something from you, and more often than not, they would prefer not to compensate you in any way, shape, or form. No matter how much my photographer friends and I try to fight the good fight against copyright infringement, business owners will still do whatever they possibly can to get our hard work for free, and will put forth their best effort to make YOU look bad for defending your own hard work.

You really think your bro didn't sell you out to take your gig or job? Oh, he did, and he doesn't feel bad about it whatsoever. He's totally fine dealing with the handful of people bitching at him for what he did, because he honestly doesn't believe he did anything wrong -- it's YOUR fault for losing out on it or fucking up, he just pointed it out to someone so he could slide into your spot. Not to mention, your mutual "friends" don't give a fuck either, since after all, your "bro" here didn't do them wrong, he did YOU wrong. If it didn't happen to them, then they're okay still being friends with your now former bro. Chances are, they probably heard a different side of the story, but the fact remains you got fucked over and your former bro took your place. That, they cannot deny, and they're perfectly fine with it.

No matter how benevolent you are, there will always be someone who has a problem with what you’re doing; no good deed goes unpunished.

I try, I really do try. If I didn't care about doing the right thing or helping people, I wouldn't be a teacher, I wouldn't be a part of the labor of love that is NWMotiv, and I certainly wouldn't care about anyone else's happiness but my own. Hell, I wouldn't even photograph weddings. Nevertheless, because so many people have taken me for granted and/or taken advantage of my generosity, my walls are up. These are not easy walls to break down.

I honestly do believe I'm a nice person. I'm not like some people who will be a douche just because they can be, and even admit it proudly when they're called out on it. Yet, there's been so many times when my kindness and willingness to "take one for the team" has ended up fucking me over. My tendency to show empathy for someone's situation, help someone in need, or simply see things from their point of view has ended up with me getting the short end of the stick, while they go on about their life as if I did nothing for them whatsoever. Well, that shit ain't happening anymore.

I've been told that I can't have my walls up all the time, otherwise I'm not going to allow myself to be happy. Yes, I'd say that's true. However, I've been proved time and time again that keeping my walls up was the right decision in the end, so why would I change that at this point? If I don't know you, I simply don't trust you. Your actions (not your words) will prove to me if you're trustworthy or not, and even then I've got the gasoline to light that bridge on fire at a moment's notice. 

I don't enjoy being this cynical. In fact, I honestly wish I wasn't, but I'd be digging myself into yet another hole if I just stayed idealistic and believed that people in general will do the right thing. But make no mistake: if you are among those I truly trust -- my family, my close friends -- I will defend you with everything that I am, because I know that you will do the same for me. 

She’s been with me since March 2001. We’ve been through a lot together, and I honestly wouldn’t be who or where I am today without her. In many ways, she helped me find my way and pointed me in the direction I would take with my life. However, maybe it’s finally time to move on?

No, I’m not talking about a girl, but honestly she probably costs just as much as a girlfriend: I’m talking about The Blue Car, aka Eva, aka my much-beloved 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX. Back in June, I wrote a blog on NWMotiv about my car show history with Eva, and how having this car as part of the car show scene really contributed to my life. I’ve resisted putting her up for sale multiple times, but now as I get older, priorities change, and the “community” disintegrates, she ends up just sitting in my garage 99% of the time. She’s all paid off, but I still pay insurance of course and she makes appearances at our NWMotiv shows, albeit only a less than a handful of times a year. Thus, I have to ask myself, is sentimental value enough for me to hold onto her, take up my garage space, and pay for insurance every year?

I’ve also thought about parting her out, but everyone that I know that’s parted their car out (especially ones with as many mods as mine) has told me it was the biggest pain in the ass, and if they’d do it over again, they’d just sell it whole. I don’t trust car people anymore, and the day and age that we live in now is full of people who will not only truly appreciate what they have, but also have no clue whatsoever what something is worth. I’m sure many would balk at the thought of buying my Do-Luck trunk lid for $800; after all, they can get a knock-off that looks “just as good” for half of that. On top of that, there’s the entire part-out process and finding replacement parts as needed that I simply do not have the time or patience for, along with dealing with flakey buyers and low-ballers.

However, on the other hand, I have just about every long-time bugeye owner tell me that they wish they’d never sold their bugeye, and even Ferg wishes he could just put my car in a time capsule and preserve it forever. If I eventually sold her, how much would I regret it? Would I be kicking myself and spending time looking for another used one in good condition to build up again? Or would I really be okay with just parting ways after nearly 14 years?

Today is the last day of summer, so I decided to take a few minutes and reflect upon a few things that I've learned over the past few months. Some of these are very tongue-in-cheek, but others are completely truthful with no sarcasm whatsoever. I can probably add to this, and some of these might even spur their own dedicated posts, but here's what I have as of right now:

- The "community" is a joke

- You can't change people, no matter how hard you try

- You can't always get what you want, no matter how hard you try

- It's not just about getting older; younger people are actually more stupid than we were at the same age

- We have a tendency to ignore our problems rather than face them and attempt to resolve them

- It's acceptable to question science and attack scientists for their work, but it's not acceptable to question opinions stated as fact

- People expect the absolute most out of the absolute little amount they're willing to give up for it

- You're perfectly okay to talk shit and/or make ridiculous claims, as long as you say you're "just kidding" afterward

- People ask for help and/or criticism, but they actually don't want it: they just want you to stroke their ego and tell you that they're doing a good job

- I continue to give less and less fucks about what other people think about what I do

- People who genuinely care about you and your well-being are extremely difficult to find: everyone else just cares about what you can do for them

- You should make sure that the people that genuinely care about you know that you care about them too: their trust, faith, and loyalty should be celebrated

- You can't assume people will do the right thing; in fact, you're safe to assume that they'll do the complete opposite

- People will always find an excuse to justify their wrong-doing, and usually they just pass the buck and say it's someone else's fault

- People joke about "staying classy," but they're often the ones with the least class

- You might only live once, but you'll be stupid forever

- Stealing is apparently okay as long as it's easy to do and there are no immediate consequences for it

- Some people will be a douche just because they can be, and they'll even admit it proudly when they are

- We, as humans, can control the weather, and must take responsibility for when the weather does not go according to plan

- When forces align against you, that simply means that you're the one to beat and you're their biggest threat

- Just because you can find a way to do something, doesn't mean you should do it

- No one is really THAT busy that they can't even reply to an email or text message for days

- People who seem to welcome haters tend to have major self-esteem issues, and will get extremely defensive about everything they choose to do

- People have no problem screwing someone else over to get what they want, even if it means getting them fired from a job

- No matter how benevolent you are, there will always be someone who has a problem with what you're doing; no good deed goes unpunished

- Somehow, using the word "ruin" became subjective, rather than factual