Things were going really well for Jason, lately. He was talking to Kara often, sharing more about himself and getting to learn more about her. He could talk literature with her from dusk til dawn, finally having someone he could debate Brontë with. Talking to her was fun; she was intelligent, sassy enough to roast him when he left an opening, and unafraid to call him out on his bullshit. She made snarky comments that left him giggling. The Red Hood, giggling. Having a friend who knew him both in and out of the hood and saw more to him than the crime lord or the dead robin was so refreshing.
The Outlaws were his family, and he loved them, knew he was loved in return, but Kara was... different.
They shared a love for reading, which was a new thing for Jason, never having anybody to really talk to about his favourite hobby, and they gravitated towards the same types of books, meaning they managed to hold many discussions about different topics, with her loving to play devil's advocate whenever he was too passionate about a certain point or interpretation. Silence wasn't uncommon when they got together in person, with them just reading in each other's company or eating something too unhealthy for a regular person. It was calming, silencing the part of him that always raged at the injustice of the universe.
Their friendship really lifted his spirits, and it was noticeable to the Outlaws. Usually, when Jason decided to run missions with them, it's right after a fight with the bats about his methods. Just because he gave up on them being a family doesn't mean that the blatant distrust and rejection don't hurt.
But that hasn't been the case, lately. He contacted them just to hang out, wheras he usually had to be invited, his low self esteem making him unable to think they would ever agree to an invite from him, no matter how much they assured him. He was less aggressive in fights, the usually brutal Red Hood relying more on ranged combat than close quarters. No less deadly, mind you, but he started keeping his distance more, instead of ditching his guns in favour of his kris or bare hands. He didn't purposefully let himself get injured anymore and stopped drinking alcohol, instead partaking in healthier coping mechanisms. He laughed more, was more open with his feelings, more expressive of his love to them.
Kara was a good thing. But you can't have too much good without the bad knocking, coming over to take its toll.
It's this cosmic trade-off that has Jason on a roof with all of the bat's brood. They've been trying to reconnect with him lately, seeing his lessening aggression and lack of killing as a sign of reform. Wanting to 'support' him as he 'takes the final steps towards redemption.' Preachy fuckers. Where was this when he actually wanted them? When he desperately NEEDED their support? They wanted to join in half a mile off the finish line so they'd be able to pat themselves on the back, claiming that they helped him all along.
That's not going to happen. Jason won't ALLOW it to happen.
"Come on Little Wing! We want you to come home! You've always been welcome but we never see you! Agent A misses you, and he wants all of his family together. You never know what comes next in life, tomorrow isn't guaranteed. If something happens, you'll regret not spending more time with him"
Manipulative bastard. But damn is he good. Appealing to what he thinks is a weak spot to get him to comply, framing it as though he was always welcome when he knows for a FACT he wasn't. Putting all of the expectations on him, so they wouldn't have to do anything. Guiting him into shunning them away, as if they hadn't done the same.
Jason is ashamed to say that it would've worked, years ago. Back when he thought of Alfred as his grandfather. When he desperately hoped for a place at the table, sitting next to his father, teasing his siblings.
It's not a couple of years ago, though. Priorities shift, and dirty laundry comes out. Words spoken that shattered any iota of love Jason held for the old man, a plaque cementing him as a permanent outsider.
"He's not a house plant, locked away in the manor with no way out. He could've visited me any time he wanted"
It shocked Dick, a little, getting rebuffed like that. He thought Alfred was the smoking gun. He didn't plan much, assuming that mentioning the old butler would have Jason coming back into the fold.
"It doesn't matter, Hood," came the gravelly voice of his former father. "We're trying to compromise with you here"
"Compromise on what, exactly?"
"Reports show a heavy decrease in your usage of lethal methods" Red Robin's voice piped up. "You've been less aggressive lately, and we think that you're finally getting better."
"Ok? I still don't understand"
"Given that you're improving," Batman replied, the clenching of his jaw giving away his growing frustration, " we would like you to come to family dinner this Sunday, provided that you stop killing"
"Yeah, I'm not interested. You'll bring me to the manor, frame it as a family reunion, then pick fights and argue with me until you decide to throw me into arkham or whatever. I've got better plans"
"It's not like that!" shouted Nightwing, frustrated that Hood wasn't seeing reason. They're trying to help him here, get him back on the right path. Doesn't he see their generosity? They're forgiving him for being a murderer, he should be happy for getting such a chance.
"Oh? then what's it like? Because we haven't spoken outside of the masks since I came back, and suddenly I've ALWAYS been allowed back? Every time we talk in the masks, you threaten me with jail or exile"
"Yes, because you're a murderer. We don't have the right to be judge-"
"Jury and executioner. Yeah, spare me the bullshit, I've heard it a million times. I'm not a bat, I don't have to adhere to your code, or whatever"
"Dammit, Hood, we're trying here!" Bellowed the Batman, coming to his wit's end with his son's dismissal of the lives he's taken, of the opportunity to truly reform. "If you really want to get better, if you want to be a lart of this family again -"
This causes Bruce to stop talking and all the bats and birds to look at him in shock, staring at him as if he would reveal himself as a clone or a shapeshifter. It simply didn't compute
"I don't want to be a part of your family."
"You must be misunderstanding," came Red Robin's diplomatic voice, clearly disbelieving that Jason would ever reject them, voice almost frantic. "We're offering you a chance to rejoin the family"
"I understand perfectly. I'm just not interested in being family with all of you. I don't know you, I don't WANT to know you, and I've moved on"
"What do you mean you moved on!" shouted Dick, incredulous.
"I mean, I moved on. I gave up on you years ago. I found myself a family, a real family, people who love me for who I am, and I'm happy with them, far happier than I ever was with you. I'm not going to jeopardise my own happiness by clinging onto the ties to a life I'd rather forget"
The bats were stunned, not having expected this, and Jason left the rooftop, feeling lighter than he has in years, debating with himself on whether or not he and Kara should get ice cream later.