¡arrnuts!

Sitting in the passenger seat angling your legs away from them to let them know you’re mad

Are there really people out there who think this man needs someone to show him how to care for his hair and appearance?

That's not just a bun, that's an updo. With carefully styled slut strands.

He made his crew get makeovers so they'd match his aesthetic.

This is a man who appreciates a look. You can't tell me you look at this man and think wow, he really needs a white guy to show him how to maintain personal grooming.

He added costume elements to his coma roleplay

Pirates don't pay 🏃🏃

How long did they stay like that, with Ed just leaning into Stede? Did Ed, as he started to feel more like himself, suddenly feel embarrassed to realize his position, lying there in a tub with Stede’s robe over him? And did he kind of awkwardly bluster a bit about how he should get up? And then did Stede say “oh, of course, let me help you,” and take Ed by the arm and keep him stead as he stepped out of the tub? And then did Ed give a great sniff and rub his eyes to wipe away the tears? And then did Stede quickly offer Ed a handkerchief to wipe his face? And did Ed take it gratefully, wiping away any physical remnants of his breakdown, before offering it back to Stede? And did Stede say “oh, no, it’s yours. You should have it.” And did Ed initially think maybe Stede just didn’t want it anymore because it was covered in tears and snot, but then saw the way Stede was smiling softly at him and think maybe it was something more?

And then did Stede say “yes, right, shall we go congratulate the crew on a fine fuckery?” and did Ed nod and say “yes, of course”? But then before they left the room did Ed squeeze Stede’s arm and say “hey. thanks.” And did Stede give him that little smile that made his tummy do backflips? And did he not say a word, but instead just reach out and give him the lightest of touches on the small of his back, simultaneously offering him comfort and pushing him forward? 

And THEN did Ed, even after he let the red silk fall into the ocean, keep that handkerchief, stained and soiled though it may be, on him always, even if he sometimes pretended it wasn’t actually there or it was just some random scrap of fabric he had on him, because it reminded him of the one night he felt maybe he wasn’t a monster doomed to live a life alone?