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u know in retrospect my stomach shrimping wasn't even the worst part so far. it was the tube that went to third base with my floppy ass cardia. through my sinuses. just straight up cockwarmed a silly straw all the way thru my esophagus for 2 days
I'm a fool. a fucking fool. an absolute clown. do u know what happened minutes after I posted this.
I found out my body cannot handle opioids.
my muscles lock tf up and deliver the worst pain imaginable in every direction at once. I can't describe it. it's not just pain it's the sensation of every disgusting awful flu ache you've ever experienced in your life condensed into one square inch of your body, all over your body.
do u know what alternatives hospitals have to opioids? HA, HAHAHA
Stomach is back where it should be, I got some guts stapled and skin glued, and recited Dexter's Lab every time the nurses mixed powdered medicine in with my applesauce. I'm bored of drinking ramen and watching Resident Alien reruns so I'm gonna peruse the tags!
I cannot tell you how many times I unironically gazed into the middle distance and thought this
I've learned things can be true and also a shit post at the same time. unfortunately
starting to think maybe I've been saying this too much all my life and karmic justice just backed up in the pipes before exploding. still gonna obliterate those twinks tho. get back here Siffrin I'm not done with you yet
this guy is getting the true moral of this story
I HAVEN'T IN YEARS so either the AO3 curse has a disconcerting half-life, or it extends to discord servers and Google docs. both are horrifying and deserve a federal grant for further investigation
you and me both! isn't nature beautiful
you've made me realize my most recent fic in my gdocs is in fact the darkest thing I've written. so maybe all the ppl in the tags claiming AO3 curse aren't as wrong as I've been thinking they are
god's a bitch and I'm into omegaverse
I feel like I should get a medal for enduring something so fucked up that randos on the internet think I must be lying. yeah bro me too
honestly the worst part about all of this is the fact that I can't watch Murderbot. I want to so bad. but I refuse until I'm feeling halfway alive again
fuck life. I give myself lemons. AO3 on hospital Wi-Fi
you do not. like emphatically, I don't think that's a great idea
I'd say I'm sorry but tbh this seems very on theme for ISAT so
THANK you I need everyone to remember I'm a gamer first, god's favorite crusty sock in the bottom of the drawer second
the ARE a lot of people in the tags calling me Jesus Christ
I'll admit that one's on me. when I started being unable to eat anything, my first thought was not "stomach straight up saying the abdomen's haunted"
I hate that I was actually considering getting white haired anime boy haircut right before all this happened. could you fucking imagine
don't carbon date me like this
Rascal Flatts was right. life is a highway and it's riding me all night long
they snipped and stitched some things, yanked the whole sucker back down UNDER my diaphragm where it belongs, and did this thing called a fundoplication where they wrap and stitch the top of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus. it’s supposed to help keep that little bastard in its assigned seating
what I had was a called a combination sliding hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies) and paraesophageal hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies but through a different hole in the diaphragm bc it’s not like other girls, making it look like it’s trying to phone home), along with combined organoaxial and mesenteroaxial gastric volvulus (stomach flops around like a dead fish and twists itself shut like a bread bag AND goes upside down). the former usually ends up cutting off blood flow and starts necrotizing the stomach (very dangerous), but I was extremely lucky that hadn’t happened yet!
the hernias are uncommon but not terribly rare. the stomach flopping around? that’s rare. the fact that I had both of these at the same time, where they both did ALL AVAILABLE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE?
to put it gently, according to one resident, I had surgeons fighting over me. pictures were taken. I had like six separate groups of medical professionals coming into my room regularly. my surgeon shook my hand like I was a celebrity. it was honest to god hilarious.
all in all, I spent 3 months thinking I was being a huge wimpy diaper baby, only to find out I narrowly evaded death bc my friend Moth told me to go to the ER right away, and it triggered a panic attack big enough to make me do just that. the poor ER doc came in sweating with the initial CT scans like “I’m gonna be real with you I’m not entirely sure I know what I’m looking at but it’s giving INCREDIBLE Emergency Surgery”
I’m upset I don’t get to birth an alien baby, but considering how it was Rapturing into my chest, it probably would have been a chest burster anyway. I want to kiss Miss Xenomorph as much as the next guy but I think I’ll just stick to sending prime numbers out into space until one returns my booty call
EDIT: btw I love the dog jokes lmao I had no idea volvulus was common in dogs! don't worry I'm not a werewolf (unfortunately), I simply have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which makes all my connective tissue soft and stretchy. So we're waaaay more prone to having organs (and joints) slip n slide around and do things they REALLY aren't supposed to. But I wish I was a werewolf even more now. when will it be my turn
my clowns in hellsite, I have no idea how my house is intact when there are trees uprooted by my mailbox. if I had less staples in me I'd bend over and moon the sky
I'm not gonna keep dragging this post on I swear I'm just still on pain meds (I can handle higher doses of weaker opioids for some reason! yippee!) so I'm gonna look through the tags one more time and address a couple things I've seen often
- no, I wasn't doing anything in particular to fuck up my guts. sometimes our organs just Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 right through the polygons. don't worry about it, it's rare and you get a fun story to tell ur friends
- yes, I was fired because I missed too many days nearly dying and requested more to recover from nearly dying. what can I say I'm a needy unreasonable bitch
- yes it's pretty lame to do this to someone right as they stumble off the operating table and get dumped with expensive medical bills. yes this is legal. yes I'm filing for unemployment. yes I would leave mouse poops in the CEO's coco rice krispies if given the chance. love and peace ✌️
- it's cool my dudes I live in the Midwest, basements are an evolutionary aspect of natural selection here. we've also got Steve Templeton I'm pretty sure he fights the tornadoes off himself
- Murderbot TV series good :)
- don't worry guys I know the original artist for Life is a Highway. Lightning McQueen
- there are a LOT of you offering advice on how to avoid the torment nexus. while having a Siffrin pfp. just an observation
- who the fuck is Job
please laugh. every drop of joy I squeeze from this karmic fart parade is another finger shoved firmly up god's withered asshole
can everyone stop being funnier than me for 2 minutes
I only fucked someone once and it was bc they replied to my reply on their comment to the fic I filled for their kink meme prompt on Livejournal. it was vore. and my name's not Jesus
no I'm going I want to ask Joshua how he got that gay
can y'all stop comparing me to deities I'm already on thin ice here with one or possibly more of them
no this is Patrick
I'm sorry to disappoint but I only have 2 weed smoking girlfriends. if anyone lets me borrow one of theirs tho it would really help the Make A Wish Foundation. I beg them once a week and they keep telling me I'm "not a child" and "already got two wishes fulfilled"
take a ticket and get in line if you're gonna make an attempt on my life, you goddamn heathen
you can't give me this after I was just accused of being Dave Strider
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Mushy May Day 31 - Unspoken I Love You's (Aether/Dew)
Once again thank you @forlorn-crows for this year's Mushy May prompts! Lovely divider by @ghuleh-recs!
Last day of Mushy May!! I didn't finish as many prompts as I wanted, but I have at least one more in the works that will come out a bit late. Thank you, Crow, for putting Mushy May together again this year! It's one of my absolute most favorite events around here and I look forward to it SO much. I had a great time writing and I absolutely loved seeing all the work people shared this year.
Tags: Dewther, fluff, established relationship, disgusting sappy mushy in love ghouls
Ao3 here.
Their unspoken ‘I love you’s’ may be different, but there are a million of them either way. They say it out loud to each other often, but alongside the grand gestures, it’s the little things that say I love you over and over again.
For Aether it’s getting up just a little bit earlier each morning and making Dew his first cup of coffee. Just the way he likes it. His favorite beans, hand ground, served black, molten-lava-hot and in his favorite mug - something silly Aether picked up for him at a roadside gas station way back on their first tour out together. Every morning, just like clockwork, Dew opens bleary eyes to find Aether at his bedside with his mug in hand and a smile across his equally sleepy face. Dew always reaches up for a thank you kiss before taking that first sip.
Other times it’s little presents, gifted here and there. Always totally random but incredibly thoughtful. Aether knows Dew’s interests as well as his own, and he loves the way Dew’s eyes light up when he surprises him with a vintage band tee or obscure horror movie. Just because, he says every time. And Dew is always so impressed and touched. A movie he’d mentioned once, briefly, in passing, a band he was listening to in his free time. Aether always notices, always remembers. And sometimes it’ll become a little treat, Aether’s way of saying I was thinking of you.
Sometimes it’s a hot bath at the end of the day, just when Dew needs it the most. On those never-ending long days of band practice just before tour that leave Dew bone-tired and sore, walking into their bedroom stretching his aching shoulders. On those days, he’ll find Aether in the bathroom, just turning off the steaming hot water in the tub. Ready and waiting for him with a fluffy towel and a look of pure adoration.
And when they’re apart it’s no different. With Dew out on tour and Aether back home at the ministry. They talk on the phone as often as they can but it’s the little pictures and text messages throughout his busy days and nights that keep Dew’s heart full. Dew will pull up his phone to a text from Aether - a photograph of something silly and mundane. A pair of socks in a heap on the floor, a fork and spoon side by side on the table, two lone apples in the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter. Each one accompanied by the same exact caption every time. Look, it’s us. Dew follows suit with his own pictures, the sillier and more ridiculous the better. A dirty old pair of tennis shoes hanging from a power line, a half eaten hot dog and a pickle on a paper plate. Look, it’s us, Dew will text. And Aether will answer back the same each time, Aw, babe - and a heart emoji. Now they try to outdo each other with the most ridiculous pairs of objects. As it stands, Dew is winning. And even though they joke, every picture Dew gets makes his heart feel full.
Dew says I love you in a hundred different ways of his own. Sometimes it’s a home cooked meal. A spread of all of Aether’s favorite things, meticulously prepared and laid out on the table. Sometimes it’s a surprise, and sometimes Aether spends the day in the kitchen alongside him, helping where he can. There’s nothing Aether loves more than to watch Dew flit across the kitchen, from the table to the stove to the fridge. Hair messy and shirt dusted with flour. And when they finally sit down to eat, he can feel the love put into every single, delicious bite of food he takes.
Dew takes care of Aether’s guitar just as well as he does his own. He almost never says anything when he does it, but sometimes Aether will sit down to practice and he’ll find his Fantomen freshly serviced. New strings and perfectly tuned. Shiny black body wiped down and free from a single fingerprint. Sometimes he’ll do an entirely new setup, adjust the neck and strings. Whenever Dew does a whole setup, he’ll leave him a little handwritten note, scribbled bullet points of everything he serviced. Always signed with a little “xx - Dew.” Aether always feels like he plays his best after Dew’s worked on any of his instruments.
Dew knows just when Aether is in need of a backrub from warm, strong hands with deft fingers. He can tell right away, even without Aether saying anything, long before he’s wincing in pain, that just what he needs is a backrub from his fire ghoul. Usually, he doesn’t say anything, just takes Aether by the hand, leads him to the bed, whether that be in their bedroom, tour bus bunk, or hotel room, lays him down, straddles his hips, and gets to work. It doesn’t take long before Aether is lying face down, blissed out and dozing off. Muscles loose and feeling good, aches and pains long forgotten under the care of Dew’s perfect, warm hands.
And when they’re apart, in between phone calls and text messages and video chats, Aether gets post cards. One for every stop Dew makes on tour. Each and every one picked out by Dew and with a long note scrawled on the back in Dew’s scratchy handwriting. Telling Aether about his day, about what he ate, how the previous night’s ritual went, or the funny things that happened on the bus. Dew sends them all without fail, and despite having amassed hundreds, Aether feels his heart race each and every time he opens the mail box to find a post card with his name on it. Like a little piece of his ghoul has come home to see him, even for just a moment’s time.
Dew knows how precious their time together is, especially now that Aether doesn’t go out on the road anymore. So the months that Dew is at home, he makes sure to carve out plenty of time just for them to spend alone, together. Walking through the garden in the evenings, curled up on the couch for a movie, or hidden away in sanctuary of their bedroom laughing over the inside jokes that only they know. They say I love you to each other often, it comes just as easy as breathing, but in between, they say it a million times more. Every gesture, every kiss, every smile. Every action is a confession of something they both already know is true.
random PSA, I know a lot of people use duckduckgo as a Google alternative search engine, but it always kind of annoyed me when I was using it because it felt like No Name Brand Google
I have switched to using Startpage.com and vastly prefer it. for one thing, instead of displaying an "AI summary" at the top of the search results (unless you turn it off, yes I know), it displays the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article, with link, whenever it finds one that's relevant.
also a waaayyyyy better sense of design than duckduckgo
also private, European based, least annoying search I've used lately (RIP old "don't be evil" Google)
i have one of those, scraped from multiple different rec posts:
Search Engines
Infinity Search is an alternative search engine with a special focus on privacy
DuckDuckGo is a popular search engine for those who value their privacy and are put off by the thought of their every query being tracked and logged. Uses bangs, ![site] for in-page search (sells your data to microsoft and draws from fucking bing)
WolframAlpha is a privately owned search engine that allows you to “compute expert-level answers using Wolfram’s breakthrough algorithms, knowledgebase, and AI technology.” A data search engine.
Boardreader is a search engine for forums and message boards. It allows you to search forums and then filter down results by date and language.
Based in France, Qwant is a privacy-based search engine that won’t record your searches or use your personal details for advertising. Uses “&” as a bang search.
Another privacy-based search engine is Search Encrypt, which uses local encryption to ensure that users’ identifiable information cannot be tracked. Metasearch across multiple engines.
Offering unbiased results from several sources, SearX is a metasearch engine that aims to present a free, decentralized view of the internet. Can be self-hosted.
Gibiru’s tagline is “Unfiltered private search” and that’s exactly what it offers. Requires AnonymoX Firefox add-on for privacy.
Disconnect allows you to conduct anonymous searches through a search engine of your choice.
Swisscows provides fully encrypted searches to protect your privacy and security. Built-in violence/porn filter cannot be overridden.
MetaGer offers “Privacy Protected Search & Find” through its anonymised search. A plugin will allow it to be made a default.
Gigablast is a private search engine that indexes millions of websites and servers real-time information without tracking your data, keeping you hidden from marketers and spammers. Variety of filtration and refinement options for searching.
Oscobo is a search engine that protects your privacy while you search the web. By not using any third-party tools or scripts, your data is protected from hacking and misuse. Has a Chrome extension to allow use in toolbar.
https://search.marginalia.nu/ an independent DIY search engine that focuses on non-commercial content, and attempts to show you sites you perhaps weren't aware of in favor of the sort of sites you probably already knew existed. Use old-school searching rather than query-based for the best results.
https://www.mojeek.com/
https://wiby.me/ - It’s goal is to index as many personalized websites as possible, and NOT commercial sites.
https://4get.ca/ it works a lot like SearX, but honestly better. It doesn’t have its own index, but pulls from many others. I think it’s the best for research, since it allows you to search for answers from different indexes, is easy to configure, add free, and avoids censorship as much as it can.
https://www.searchenginemap.com/ for more on how search engines relate to each other.
https://yep.com/ is a crawler
https://www.etools.ch/ retrieves from Google, Mojeek, Bing, and Yandex, like Searx
https://www.dogpile.com/
https://searxng.org/ (next gen Searx)
https://luxxle.com/ - possibly conservative?
https://presearch.com/ - good for academic?
https://kagi.com/smallweb - free/randomised Kagi.
Other Searchers
www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.
www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.
https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.
www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.
http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.
www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.
www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free.https://cosine.club/ is an electronic music similarity search engine
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The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!
"The beast screamed inside Vimes. It screamed that no one would blame him for doing the hangman out of ten dollars and a free breakfast. Yeah, and you could say a swift stab now was the merciful solution, because every hangman knew you could go the easy way or the hard way and there wasn't one in the country that'd let something like Carcer go the easy way. The gods knew the man deserved it…
…but young Sam was watching him, across thirty years.
When we break down, it all breaks down. That's just how it works. You can bend it, and if you make it hot enough you can bend it in a circle, but you can't break it. When you break it, it all breaks down until there's nothing unbroken. It starts here and now.
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"are you gonna take those pills the rest of your life?" you mean my molecules? why surely you wouldn't deprive me of my molecules. they are shaped exactly just so, you see. my molecules
