conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 86 (masterpost here)
Dick: i still think it’s mean that you let Jason have the front seat.
Jason: too slow, Dickhead.
Dick: keep it up and i’ll press your eject button.
Bruce: do not do that- we’re supposed to be hidden right now, do not do that.
Dick: *groan* i’m bored. this is why we make Damian and Tim do these kinda jobs with you. speaking of- ‘s it lonely at the manor with the kids gone for the weekend?
Bruce: well Alfred’s still there, but yes i suppose it is odd. i don’t think i’ve really had multiple days with no kids in the house since Jason died, and before that when you were the only child.
Jason: did Dickie-bird go out like this a lot as a kid? sleepovers n’ shit?
Bruce: oh yeah, he was constantly in and out. it was hard to keep track of, honestly. i used to try and call him down for dinner only to be told by Alfred that he was in Star City, or staying with some classmates i’d never heard of before.
Dick: it got stuffy in the manor! i wanted to go out and talk to people!
Jason, snorting: ‘it got stuffy’ and it’s like, the size of a fucking palace.
Dick: well you would say that, being as when you were a kid you never left,
Jason: *indignant* w- i left?? i had to go to school every damn day! and patrol every damn night!
Dick: oh shush, you know what i mean. for social activities—and don’t say galas! because that doesn’t count, that wasn’t your choice!
Jason: i- *brief hesitation* i left all the time,
Bruce: chum, i love you, but no you didn’t.
Dick: *wheeze* clock his shit, B!
Jason, defensive: he’s not clocking anything!
Bruce, slightly amused: you were- Jaylad, you were a great kid, but you were a bit of a hermit.
Jason: excuse me?
Dick: *cackling* he’s- he’s calling you a loser, by the way.
Bruce: now i never used that word-
Jason: YOU WERE THINKING IT THOUGH!
*a beat*
Bruce: well,
Dick: *uncontrollable wheezing*
Jason, annoyed: oh my GOD.
Bruce: Jason, you had no friends.
Jason: I HAD FRIENDS.
Dick, choking: you didn’t,
Jason: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON—i was fine, i was a happy child.
*pause*
Jason: relatively.
Bruce, fondly: i’m sorry Jay, you know there’s nothing wrong with preferring your own company, but you have to at least admit that the only person you visited outside the manor was the very rare occasion of Dick letting you go stay with him in Blud.
Dick: -which Alfred paid me to do, by the way. at least for the first few years.
Jason: I-
Bruce: you had no friends. which was fine. …but you did have no friends.
*three seconds of silence*
Jason: i fucking hate this family.
Dick: *cackle*
Jason, indignant: for the fucking record- i didn’t like anyone you wanted to be my friend. it’s not that i couldn’t, it’s that i didn’t want to.
Bruce, conceding: that is also true; i used to try to encourage you to talk to your classmates and you’d tell me you’d rather drink hot oil.
Dick: genuinely what was your problem?
Jason: do you know how annoying kids my age used to be back then??
Dick, pointedly: yes.
*a beat*
*scrabbling, shuffling, smacking sounds*
Bruce: do not- DO NOT- STOP CLIMBING OVER-
Dick: *thud* ack-
Jason: fuckin- not so tough now i’m back here with you, huh? OW-
*thud, smacking, more shifting sounds*
Dick: get your- FUCKING FOOT out my FACE-
Bruce: stop it- don’t make me come back there! JASON- take his head away from the window before you smash it!
Jason: i’m trying to smash it,
Dick: OW- OW THAT’S MY HAIR-
Bruce: LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE. fuck- that’s the guy we’re waiting for,
Jason: DON’T PINCH MY NECK??
Dick: you have mud all over your fucking boots—you were getting it on my face!
Jason, smugly: how do you know it’s mud? how do you know i didn’t tread in dog shit?
Dick: EUGH!?! I’LL KILL YOU-
Jason: *evil cackle*
*more fighting sounds*
Bruce: oh for- OK THAT IS IT. I’M DRIVING. IF YOU’RE STILL FIGHTING WHEN WE GET TO THE BASE THEN I’M LEAVING YOU OUTSIDE FOR THE FIGHT.
*car revving*
Bruce, under his breath, bitter: i miss the kids.
