her tragedy enjoyer

(anthytouga voice) why would i be compassionate to nanami ew disgusting nanami’s literally the worst nanami is a cockroach i hope she dies she’s so fucking stupid oh my god being compassionate to nanami is the worsttttttt so what if the worst things ever happen to her and it’s my fault that’s just lifeohhhhhhhhhhh oh? utena is experiencing the worst things ever and i helped? and i helped? oh well i should just kill myself. oh well i should just kill myself and save her because actually utena is Good. and stupid. but Good. unlike nanami lol nanami was born cursed to suffer haha nanami’s got that karmic punishment coming lollllll But Utena Does Not <3

the thing about nanami that makes her so agonising and unpalatable to anthy and touga is. like. she just does her thing and proves, repeatedly, resolutely, that one can Just Not. ‘ohhh in the end all girls are like the rose bride’ meanwhile nanami’s like Actually That’s Dumb and she’s active and she tries to take things she wants but she doesn’t have a bride herself, does she, so to what end is all of this? herself? herself as the bride that she fights for? how does that work? how does that make sense? how can one whole person be whole and independent, when that person is a girl who is 13 and stupid and i hate her (— anthytouga, probably)

see what’s so funny is im writing about her tragedy for one of my uni assignments rn and im actually doing a good job of being concise and focused about it!! but my Point: ‘her tragedy’ the episode sharing its name with ‘her tragedy’ the comic theme that scores nanami’s silliest most devious and absurd moments. ‘her tragedy’ being tweenaged anxieties, vanity and snobbery, an over-attachment to an older brother; ‘her tragedy’ being the alienation this thirteen year old girl experiences such that she is completely isolated in her abuse and unable to understand it, or anyone else’s. being disarmed by this comic presentation of nanami’s character such that when she stares at you in the lift she seems to be asking you, how could this happen? and you cannot answer her because you know you have left this narrative slowly unfold, laughing at her tragedies until they become too uncomfortable for you. and you have to live with that. and you have to live with that. GOD. nanami im so fucking sorry i ever said anything mean about you dot jpeg

anthy and touga should be allowed to kill one (1) person with rocks. the problem is that they’d unanimously decide that person should be nanami even tho she’s literally never done anything wrong in her life. the second problem is that pointing that out to them would make them want to kill her with rocks more

me when i see magnets repel each other: omg…., anthytouga…

trying to write anything about anthy and touga is always objectively hilarious (lie, but only kind of) bc you always end up at the same place which is just like. these guys aren’t learning shit from each other. they will NOT be self-recognising through the other today thank uuuu and even if they did, literally nothing would happen. theyd just be like yep! knew that! anyway! and then continue to perpetuate cycles of abuse they believe to be inevitable for their slightly different reasons because ‘truly swagever’ — anthy and touga, probably. these guys don’t give a shit about each other but also they make each other want to die. hope this helps!

kiryuu sibling stasis post-32 is so interesting to me. nanami tries to leave and is (temporarily but also, crucially, violently) prevented from doing so by touga and akio. after this experience she puts distance between herself and them: she leaves touga’s phone in the car, she resigns from the student council (though she dons her old uniform still), she repeatedly dismisses and undermines the authority of the rose code, of end of the world, of akio, of touga. but she’s still in ohtori, isn’t she? uncomfortable with the idea of leaving, uncertain if it’s really possible. she tried before, and it hurt her. deeply. it’s so interesting to me, nanami’s agency and how she limits her exertion of it after 32, when she realises it for what it is. contrast that with touga, who accepts this weird stalemate between them, who is, really, uninterested in having any relationship of any kind with nanami if he can’t gain something from her. he’s very passive with her after 32, compared to the passivity he’d always feigned towards her before in order to stoke reactions from her and then exploit them. i was thinking about how touga has always been able to sever his relationship with nanami, but chosen not to; first out of a sense of obligation (‘we should live to help each other’) then a realisation of how that could be exploited. i was thinking about how nanami has never realised her ability to leave, in part because it is limited by touga and the harm he does her. i was thinking about the desperation and confusion akio calls out to anthy with as she leaves. i was thinking about how different that is to the kiryuus’ strange semi-breakdown; touga doesn’t want or need nanami, and nanami might love her brother but she cannot trust him or feel safe around him, doesn’t want to see him anymore; she’s itching to leave, and just a little scared (you know, because last time she tried that her brother assaulted her), and he’s not doing anything because ignoring her means he doesn’t have to deal with the emotions of her leaving or staying. something something gendered power dynamics something something tragic siblings

everyone reading atr for the first time vs me who read it for the first time three years ago and has been insane about it ever since. (guy who loves the painting motif) the paintings!!!!!!! also i think it’s neat that akio and ruka die again even if juri’s chapter is a bit wobbly wrt dunking on that guy. i dont consider it canon in the strictest sense, primarily bc if touga was 37 years old before he had an ounce of growth it would kill me, but i think its ideas and messaging are largely scrumptious. i deeply enjoy the baby-utena-spectre thing and the utena-prince thing and how transparently and directly the stuco’s perceptions and understandings of who utena was have shaped them; in turn, how that has trapped some remnant of utena in ohtori, as ‘prince’. also shout-out anthy bc the way she functions in atr ohhhhhh it makes me crazy. what chiho saito says about not seeing an aged up utenanthy about seeing only a previous form of themselves that maybe isn’t all that real at all, ohhhhhhh it’s incredible 10/10 no notes on that front for me. we’re still storytelling within ohtori and that is sososososo important. it’s not as good as the movie manga imho, but atr is like. it just holds a special place in my heart for being such a compelling and mixed bag of Stuff. great food for thought. i think everyone should read it honestly im baffled that people are choosing not to

ohhhh and suddenly everything is different now. if you even care. they have looked at each other. btw. looking and seeing and perceiving and understanding as my absolute favourite things in rgu. bearing witness to things. knowing. having the illusion of knowledge or understanding. attempting to unpick what is and isn’t valuable, what we do and don’t understand. watching a play and wondering who produced it. nakedness and clothes and costumes and how they all pertain to this truth/untruth dichotomy that is absolutely not a dichotomy whatsoever. did you guys know i really like aou’s painting motif btw

whenever i talk about touga it really is like yeah i hate him so much it hurts he made me realise more things about myself and the world than i care to mention. if you dont believe in his ability to leave ohtori i will blow this whole pocket-dimension academy up i stg

trying to write something about how much i hate the ‘misandry in utena/the utena fandom’ crowd but it feels kind of redundant to me. i think i just don’t consider people who use the word ‘misandry’ serious people. i do however feel an obligation to occasionally make my position clear on that front, because im aware i tougapost and some people love to bring that guy up as the misandry in the utena fandom poster boy. which is so fucking stupid because touga is not victimised by ‘misandry’, touga is victimised by homophobic violence which is wrapped up in misogynistic violence, both of which are the cogs in the machine we call patriarchy. touga is not affected by misogyny in the same way that anthy is, that’s one of the key takeaways you can get from their being foils, and i don’t really like the whole ‘oh patriarchy hurts men too’ stuff because it neglects the fact that men reap so many material benefits from what some people deem ‘harm’ to them (emotional repression being the big one. it’s not great but when you’re the privileged party and gain power from it, who cares? it’s like the inverse of kozue trying to use sexuality to gain power: she can’t do that). but touga is a shitty dysfunctional person who has been shaped by violence and in turn perpetuated violence, and his character excels, imho, at examining how patriarchy functions and attempts to homogenise life’s many complexities. same deal as nanami really. they just play different roles in this gender essentialist nightmare that crunches out any grit. and you can extend that idea to all rgu characters but i am who i am and that is a kiryuu siblings enjoyer

of all the things one can say about episode 33, one ive been thinking about a lot recently is disrupted sleep. like, the day/night cycle and character's sleep schedules alike are being messed with here. akio's fucked up endless highway is perpetually night, so that certainly contributes to it, but i just think-- there is something so viscerally upsetting to me about spending the day at an amusement park, going to bed in a hotel, and being driven home from that hotel when it is still dark. you know? i thought about anthy's disrupted sleep in the black rose arc too, and how akio wakes utena in the car by brushing her cheek. that idea of being in and out of sleep, of not getting enough of it... and then the (family) day-out nature of this trip to the hotel, the way utena is so thoroughly positioned as a child in this episode. what if i got stabbed to death by some swords real quick