❛ I know I love you. I know that you love me. ❜
got me fucked up / @leadersguilt
eve’s parallelism / crafting / you are her imagery & with wax hued as bright as the seas / they gleams as rubies / droplets as the sun & as thee hair of flax / suntide tresses : the gods molds you, so, so attentive — for beauty so untouched / flawless, hours spent to sew you from the feet up —- for marrow is taken of crushed ribs from adam (man ) / differing of glass & mahogany, as gold is poured to cast your shell & such elan is meld with a skeleton / a cage to keep that heart where it stalls — GODHEAD : OH, holy, INTENDED FOR HALLOWED BIRTHED, no, cruel, so CRUEL SIN-BORN / BASTARD CHOSEN, MAYHAPS, such beauty was only accidental / meant for another —- the gods laughed —- for, you took your first breath & that was your grandest err, & lo, Madonna’s eyes / they are yours too ( a face split of each to borne thee ) / they are full of hate / pain / SUCH TORMENT / SUCH ENVY / curdling lament woes from a she / you but older / sadder —- & at her touch / death had seen you & with a touch, a single touch —- you were stained & death had made you his analogy & with that day / a slip of a blade —– death devoured you & DECAY / PLIGHT roots itself within your vessel & as roots, they affix to you / they are ineradicable / uncured disease / you carry that night as a reminder — ONCE PROLIFIC DAUGHTER, now, now, NOW —- YOU rend at your flesh & yank / pull on your rotten heart strings, THE STRINGS PLAYED / TUNED FOR SUCH SORROWS TO BILLOW / MAW SCREAMING FOR A MOTHER’S MERE MERCY : purgation / your pleas — they are huddled in that husk of a chest — you find them, weltered / shriveled, but soon, that was all that was left / you are collecting yourself / pieces tore apart from kin — casting you far / yanking your family name / PRODDING YOU WITH STICKS ——- That cross your father built for thee / it only waits. NOW. all you are, fleeting / carrying the mess of your blood / a noose of heartlines / names/ they sit about your head, but dear girl, you cannot cut the ties / you cannot remove what you are / you will choke yourself before you see ——- you are a barren / empty / shallow grave / that all you have ever been, so why, WHY WOULD THAT CHANGE NOW?
YET. something, something did. Plum stained / tired eyes / they find warmth / he made you feel alive / nourished the shards of a paper heart / stripped you of your rot. HE / ADAM / MAN : solider, war-bound / tattered boy / he outran death / he ran trough mealows of fall / graves / his steps sinking / SINKING / SINKING — the dead left go of him / but he held on / still pulling himself further into a grave —————— jean, how long will you carry the dead with you ??? it’s okay……you can let go / not forget. yet. still, still. he always offer such kindness, such hope / warm / love / company : he finds you, he holds you / why / you were so empty, you are so, so empty still, yet, YET, YET, he still finds you. &, something bloomed in that barren plot / you felt a poke / a sudden jump — in months of secret rendezvouses : balconies / kisses — shy whispers / wordless promises —– childish sensation over necks / fumbling touches —- ah : through nightfall / moonlight, they slow dance in the shadows / swaying in each’s arms: till morning comes & distance takes / parts them as the seas, but it never stops her longingful peeks / peripatetic / errant stare, searching for a scowl / a burning flame among scorch candles / stealing but a glimpse of Icarus in the morn — a furor / yearning to touch / hold, but she knew how this worked — she knew better than to be selfish / you yearn for more / you are still empty / still selfish. still wanting.
‘ Historia. ’ KRITSA / FREAK / DEMON / DAUGHTER / MARTYR -—- your structure’s is small / stiff / bones are transfixed at your name / soft outcry to warn / his imposing stature is now closer / CLOSER — till wore palmars takes yours : his stare, it peers from his riotous hair, bangs / locks that palls such an expression, one might call it dispassionate / vacuous / dull / ANGRY, but no, it was one made of nerves / so nervous / for what? ‘ is…something wrong, jean? ’ why….was he getting so close, so suddenly, so boldly, so carelessly— such carved visage hung low / a jaw of ares himself / it casts a veil of shame / acceptance, he was scaring her.
❛ – I know I love you. I know that you love me. ❜ virile / hard hands ( MAN’S TENDER TOUCH ), tightens, but yours loosens / become so numb / SO HEAVY / you are trembling. ‘ i —— ’ LEGS / KNEES TREMBLING, & AGAIN, LITHE HANDS TUG / TRY TO RETREATS / bashful motion cued by reaction / compulsion / instinct / thoughtless HABIT TO RUN : gravid woman, why do you shake so much / why are you acting so cruel.
‘ What if I never want you to? ’
Don’t look too hard, please. she can’t afford for you to look at her, not with those tired eyes, you might tear her chest open / sunder the sternum to see how much damage is really under her makeshift flesh —- Daughter, golden crown / your neck aches from holding up everyone / your family / your people, how, how much does it really hurt……heavy hands, they hold on to those chains chime behind you / you yourself, you need to let go / break the very bones / ties to ensure you hurt / you are far to tired / stricken to wage war with yourself / to not love him — it’s ok? you are no longer a foundation for support — just regrets. you told him, night after night / you / YOU SPOKE with lust / love on your lips / drowning out the world / drowning in he / a kiss swore of these truths -- so why now, why now. WHY ARE YOU STIFF, why are so scared….ah, you are scared, finally, to be wanted for you —- wanted without a scheme nor agenda in sight : is this what it feels like — there, you fall into he & arms, arms that waited what felt like a thousands lifetimes, what felt like forever, held onto he, as if to never let go —- but.....what is holding you back, & what has caused you such shame ----- you buried face / hidden / you let out such lament / weeps so cold, so, so weak. --- why, why would you love me..…are you sure? are you sure you can love me???? does the answer make you tremble, or the fear of being wanted.
dab tiers / lips that once held in crows, you held them between teeth, they now press thin, a tongue flatten them, before they parts & ( feathers & blood will fly ) all the birds that had sat in your breasts, they beat their wings / BEATING / FLUTTERING / OPEN YOUR MOUTH / LET THEM OUT, finally, let them out, you are smothering them / killing them. you.
‘ i do love you...jean, yet, i need to know ---- can you really love me after all of this, all i am? because, if you can, if you can really love me, could you make me a promise...this is selfish....but ---- Can you promise to always love me? ’
prguitarman
origamiaround
