This old farmer in the town I’m in just warned me ‘watch out for the old guy’s daughter, she’s six foot nine and built like an amazon’ and all I could do was choke up and whisper ‘awesome’

Gossipy rural townsfolk warning of tall brick shithouse lesbians who might hit on me have no idea

bless the founders of urban dictionary bc without them i’d never know what you guys were talking about

uh oh!! fumby wumby!! looks like you need tumblr premium to view this post!!

the wrong amazon is burning and the wrong ice is melting

do you know what I really hate? early morning culture. the misconception that getting up early is inherently better than sleeping in. that people who stay in bed longer than 8 am are lazy and have an unhealthy life rhythm and that apparently they “miss the best part of the day”. that causes so much unnecessary shame and guilt, especially in young people whose inner clock doesn’t work that way - scientifically proven, teenagers can’t reach their mind’s full potential before 10 am. And more generally speaking: why should we care if someone gets up at 10 or 11 am and goes to bed far after midnight? I would get so much more shit done if I wouldn’t feel so guilty for staying up late and sleeping in. 

100000% this. Also Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder is a thing. But mostly just yes.

One of my dad’s favorite studies to quote is one about the productivity of early risers and night owls. The study found that the only difference between the two groups was that “one is a lot more smug about it.”

and behold a pale horse. and the name that sat on him was death. and hell followed with him

anytime i hear someone use the term “man cave” i feel my body sag as it craves death

its not any better than boy pussy tbh

may or may not be misinformed on what a man cave is