Arlowa

Hi honey how was your day at the gaslighting factory?

ive never worked there. stop saying i work there

Honey, remember what your union rep said about working off the clock

I think aliens would find astronauts charming with their stocky limbs and helmets that look like a big shiny eyeball. I think they would own marketable plushies of them or perhaps a labubu style keychain

@/teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

That “Bitch he’s not eating he’s at work” has me flatlined

this sketch cured my depression i don’t have to go to therapy anymore i’m uplifted and seen and felt and heard and held

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

i wish people would stop romanticizing not eating breakfast and not getting enough sleep and being dependent on coffee to function and always being in a bad mood and treating yourself poorly because that behavior is very unhealthy for you

"incurious" still GOAT insult. You could be better but you're not. You could learn but you won't, and for no good reason, just a base dispositional apathy. Get fucked

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.

me