My Words My World

so much talk about love in the kitchen... what about the kitchen breakdowns

i am talking about baking at ungodly hours because you can’t sleep. i am talking about sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing. i am talking about staring into the fridge or the cabinets for minutes, there is nothing to eat and it makes you upset. i am talking about cooking at the stove, and then you’re wondering what it feels like for someone to wrap their arms around you from behind, and then you’re crying. i am talking about dishes upon dishes piled up in the sink. i am talking about eating on the floor. i am talking about the moment you realize that cooking for one stopped being efficient and started feeling agonizing. i am talking about mumbling to yourself in the kitchen and crying to yourself in the kitchen and when there’s only yourself in the kitchen

Maybe you aren’t annoying, maybe they were just annoyed. Maybe your entire personality can’t be boiled down to actions others found disruptive. Maybe peoples feelings are subjective views of you, not objective. The same way we teach kids to say “I feel angry when you do this thing” instead of “you made me angry!” maybe you should consider that people, due to their own personal beliefs about social interaction, felt annoyed in response to your actions but that that doesn’t necessarily mean you did something bad or are something bad. And while its sweet that you want to make sure people don’t have negative feelings, there’s a lot of humans in this world and we’re always going to be stepping on each others toes so maybe don’t let people feeling annoyed with you define you. 

I wait till you text me good morning, so I know you didn’t decide overnight that you don’t want me anymore

If I could take the feelings that I have for you, just like our pics, I'd press delete.

"I'm still the person you didn't know six months ago, but I'm also the person you know now" -Ranboo

requiem for unfelt heart, unheld, unbled static king & wet land & rain & forgotten coats. dress the sheep in its brother’s ill-fit skin & teach stones to be tender -  with each wall we build, another birth,  another bout of ferment, mouth, another  word said in god’s own language. his words are the tongue of cattle & like beasts, powerful with bad hate & worse love. some things just are. a fire just is.  a wound is just something taken apart. touch you / me all over desperate the way the sun is. a gasp, a shatter, an infection to avoid with spit. lick the blood from my palm. (morning) we both fake sleep, stirring the hay  like 2 unbearable mice in a field blaze.  up to my neck in this melting wax, i’m  basically a saint asleep in the straw. tell me how you say fire without burning it all down. tell me how you say land  without wrestling the earth & making it know you. 

It’s always exactly what it looks like. Stop allowing people to lie to you.

it's cool