AriesBabe1993

•••

Once, twice, many times more. 

Ellie loses track of how many times Joel paces by. Later tonight, if she can find enough peace within herself to fall asleep, the swish of his jeans and the heavy clunk of his boots will follow her into her dreams. Beside her, Dina’s knee has stopped bouncing and now rests against hers. A tiny hole in the fabric reveals a sliver of her olive skin. 

Everyone in the patrol HQ straightens to attention at the sound of heavy footsteps on the porch. Tommy pushes through the door. 

“They’ve got her.” He holds up his walkie. “Found her about three miles shy of the canyon.” 

He’s informing the room, but his eyes are on his brother. For the first time all evening, Joel is pulled from the whirlwind of his thoughts.

“She okay?” He’s already halfway to Tommy. “Who’s that on comms?” 

“Jesse,” Tommy says. “She’s fine, just cold. Horse is alright too.” 

Joel exhales in relief, throat still hot and tight. He’d worked up a cruel heat. Sweat darkens his sage button down beneath his underarms. His palms are clammy. The anxious storm in his eyes doesn’t subside despite the good news.  

“Lemme talk to her,” Joel insists. 

Tommy hesitates. 

“Just need t’hear her voice.” 

A beep emits as Tommy presses a button. “You there, Jess?” 

Static crackles. “Here.” 

“She okay to talk?” Tommy questions. “It’s Joel.”

Tension melts from his body as he’s given the walkie. 

When word of your disappearance circulated to the commune, Joel was the first to spring into action. As if he didn’t have a lumbar sprain, and the physician hadn’t ordered to stick to low-impact activity. Adrenaline and anger frayed his every nerve. Anger over your group coming back without you. Anger at himself for giving you the itch to ever join patrol. Beneath all of that raged a steady undercurrent of fear. 

Tommy paid the price for talking him down. Joel had shoved him. Hard. Got all in his face. Tommy was well within his right to retaliate, but instead wrestled Joel close and looked him in the eyes. He knew as well as anybody else that Joel wasn’t in the position to find you without destroying himself. Instead, a handful of younger men with specialized training were dispatched for the search. 

Ellie and Dina straighten when Joel finally sits down. His lower back spasms in chastisement. For two hours he’d been pacing and inquiring about updates. Helpless, useless. He pinches the bridge of his nose and tips his head back against the wall behind him. It doesn’t help much. 

Ellie picks at a small callous on her palm. “She sounded okay and everything?” 

Joel nods after a while. 

“I’m gonna go get you some water.” Dina’s on her feet before he can decline. 

Restless, he leans forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. A slight wince twists his features. Ellie winces unconsciously. 

“Are you okay?” Her voice is much softer. 

Joel doesn’t answer right away. He promised he’d never lie to her again, and his silence provides an answer and spares his pride all at once. Concern radiates through the hand she places on his shoulder. If it were up to him, she’d never have to worry. 

“I will be,” he decides. 

Somehow, he always is in the end. She wonders how he manages time after time. 

Dina stops in front of Joel, cup in hand. “Here ya go.”

He drinks until there’s nothing left. 

Ellie rests her cheek on his shoulder. 

•••

The fire is brilliant where it dances. Joel stokes the flames. You’ve stopped shivering. Your eyes track him as he makes his way back over to you, face aglow in the dim light of the living room. Between his brows is that familiar furrow you worry will one day become eternal. 

Joel kneels to the floor before you, knees popping. There’s no doubt they protest against the hardwood. Nevertheless, his fingers undo your laces with a level of care that suggests they’re an extension of you. He pulls your boots off one by one and adjusts your socks after they skew.

Once all your outdoor layers are off, he drapes a blanket over your shoulders. You’re safe. You’re alive. 

He takes a step back to look over you as if assessing a puzzle whose scattered pieces he just put back together. 

“Are you warm enough?” He holds a hand in front of you to gauge the radiation of the heat. “You sure you don’t want a few crackers to get somethin’ on your stomach?” 

You agree for his sake more than your own. 

The cushions dip as he rejoins you on the couch with a few crackers cradled in a napkin. He hands you one and waits for you to bite into it, pleased when you do. The two of you sit like that for a while, him by your side as you accept crackers and chew. 

Warmth permeates the room, chasing away the memory of the chill you desperately wanted to escape. But it doesn’t chase away the truth, with its talons and roots. Joel, in his ignorance, kisses your temple. The warmth it leaves behind feels like a mark you don’t deserve. Your own pride is what has given the night its jagged shape. 

It’s a burden that follows you as you later lay in bed by each other’s side. Sleep never finds you. Joel can feel it in the air too. 

“I left my group,” you murmur into the dark. 

“Hmm?” 

The mattress shifts when you don’t elaborate. Joel grunts as he stretches to turn on the bedside lamp. You squint at his perplexed features in the yellowed light. His browbone shadows his eyes. 

“I thought I could catch up to Team A,” you continue. “They always make that turn right before the falls, so I hung back.” It sounds so foolish in hindsight that your cheeks prickle. 

Joel pushes himself up against the headboard as if that’ll change the words you’ve spoken. He’d been under the impression that you’d fallen behind and got turned around because nobody was mindful enough to stick by your side. 

“What were you thinkin’, sweetheart?” His throat works. “You know not to do that.”

You sit up. “Getting lost was never part of the plan.” 

“That’s why you stick to the program.” His tone is tight now, firm. “No deviations. Ever.” 

“It was one mistake.” 

“That could’ve gotten someone killed.”

“But that didn’t happen.” It’s the only solace you have. “I’m fine, they’re fine.”

Despite how small your words come out, Joel shakes his head like there’s so much you’re missing. It’s late, his body aches, and being frustrated is much easier than admitting he can still feel the ghosts of terror and dread nestled beneath his skin. All he gleams from your response is carelessness. He can’t see that guilt and shame have swallowed you whole. 

“That’s not the point,” he stresses. 

All you can think to do is grasp for low-hanging fruit, “Well, you weren’t out there at all.” Your words falter with regret as you speak. They strike Joel between the ribs. “You, of all people, don’t get to lecture me about right and wrong.” 

He huffs a surprised, humorless sound. The look he gives you is packed with so much exasperation and disbelief that you feel two feet tall. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” 

He holds your gaze, eyes darkening. Not with frustration; the depth can only belong to pain. An apology itches at the back of your throat, but he moves to turn the lamp off. The sheets rustle as he attempts to get comfortable. 

“Joel,” you say. 

Nothing. 

“Joel?”

More of the same.  

•••

Pale sunlight spills in through the windows of Town Hall. A picture of the Snake River hangs on the brick wall above the mantel of an unlit fireplace. Tommy addresses a crowd of thirty, Maria by his side observing the room with her all-seeing eyes. Patrol volunteers young and old fill the space. There hasn’t been a debrief this intensive in a while. 

“All that to say, we’re real fortunate everybody’s alright,” Tommy concludes. In the front row, you nod and stare down to where you fiddle with your tweed bracelet. Dina and Ellie sit beside you. Joel stands along a wall. 

“I’ll hand it over to Jesse for closing remarks,” he continues. “Props again to him for his leadership yesterday.” 

Light applause raises. 

“Yeah, no, thank you.” Jesse waits for the room to quiet. “That’s really all that matters, the fact that everyone made it back safely,” he starts. “I think the main lesson we take from yesterday is that it’s best to stick with your group and stay on your assigned routes.” 

His eyes find yours. “We’ve all made poor judgement calls. I sure know I have.” A few chuckles rise. “But we learn from them and move forward.” Joel stares at the back of your head as Jesse speaks. “In the grand scheme of things, last night was one small droplet of disruption.” 

A droplet that, in another life, could’ve cost Joel everything. He envisions Jackson without you and can’t make out a clear picture. He can’t see himself, Ellie, anyone, or anything he’s come to love in this beautiful little valley. It’s all a colorless blur. Toneless white noise. Nothing at all. 

His stomach churns. 

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re a valuable part of this team and we’re happy you’re safe. Things could’ve been a lot worse. You were smart to start that fire so we could see the light,” Jesse finishes. 

Hums and claps of agreement sound from around the room. Ellie squeezes your shoulder. Before people raise from their seats and flitter about, Joel pushes off the wall and heads for the front doors. You look over your shoulder in time to catch one last glimpse before he disappears. 

•••

Dead leaves float in the water of the bird bath in the chapel backyard. Joel watches them swirl. It’s quiet save for conversation in the distance, life persisting.

After yesterday’s debrief, he hadn’t seen much of you in the afternoon because he’d drawn away. You’d opted to sleep at your uncle’s, which you hadn’t done since you moved in with Joel. 

He straightens at the sound of someone clambering out the back door. Dina catches her balance when she gets off the stairs and on to level ground. The box hugged in her arms is nearly half her height, filled with string lights. Green wires, slender white bulbs. Joel meets her where she is. 

“I got it, kiddo.” 

“Nope.” She twists away. “You’re supposed to be taking it easy.” 

“It’s a bunch ‘a lights.” 

She drops the box. “Here’s good anyway.” 

Joel sets his hands on his hips, fixes her with a look. She smiles, cheeks rosy, a sparkle in her eyes. “They’re gonna put ‘em up in the trees.” She motions to the dormant cottonwoods. “I’m supposed to untangle them and all that jazz.” 

“Where’s your partner in crime?” 

“Combat training in the barn.” She wrinkles her nose. “Which I was not feelin’ today.” 

“Want some help?” 

Dina fetches a couple folding chairs to sit in as they untangle. She doesn’t acknowledge the cloud hanging over him that has stiffened his shoulders and made his gaze contemplative. Clouds weren’t always such a terrible thing. Sometimes life called for them so sunshine could be appreciated all the more. 

She snickers when Joel grumbles over not being able to work his thick fingers into a particular knot. His gaze flicks over to her, and he smiles despite himself, shaking his head.

She motions for him to pass it over, and it’s almost comical how effortlessly she unravels the knot. The beaded bracelets on her wrist remind him of an evening in Austin many moons ago, helping Sarah make friendship bracelets for her birthday party goodie bags. Dina notices his noticing. 

She holds her wrist up and pinches one of them. “This one says I’m awesome.” Then the other. “And this one says survive. Ellie has endure.” 

Endure and survive. 

“If I made you one would you wear it?” Her eyes sparkle as she asks. 

“Yeah,” he says easily. “Long as it ain’t somethin’ mean.” 

“I would never.” Dina feigns offense. “Does old-timer count as mean?” 

Joel chuckles and Dina joins in.

They finish before long, laying the lights in neat lines across the tan grass. Joel returns to his chair, stretches his long legs out in front of himself, and closes his eyes.

No sooner does Dina gasp and clap a hand over her mouth. He follows her pointed finger. Two birds with black and white dualtone heads have perched on the rim of the stone bath, their beaks taking quick small sips. A smile pulls at his lips at her delight. 

“Chickadees,” he notes quietly. 

“They’re so cute,” Dina whispers. She’s disappointed when they fly up into one of the trees. 

She returns to her chair beside Joel. “What were you doing out here before?” 

“Lookin’. Nice view of the mountains.” He shrugs. “Thinkin’ too, I guess.” 

Dina briefly looks out at their snow-capped peaks. She’s always been observant. “It’ll be okay. One day at a time, right?” 

That’s all there ever is to it. 

••• 

You’ve lived fifty lifetimes by evening. Chatter and laughter rise all around, but not once do you lose yourself within it. Most of the people gathered at the Tipsy Bison are here to celebrate whatever good happened in their lives today. You’d merely needed to get out of your uncles house. Tommy had long noticed that you’re miles away. 

He finishes his whiskey, nudges your shoulder, and leans in. “Wanna step outside?”

It’s cold. Your breaths come out frosted in the porch lights. Both of you lean on the balcony rail. Out in the commons, people flitter about under the moonlight. Two boys sword fight with sticks as their mothers talk and laugh. 

Tommy chuckles to himself. “Just like Joel and I when we were kids.” For the first time all evening, a genuine smile pulls at your lips. “Eventually got to the point where it wasn’t fun anymore ‘cause he stopped letting me win. I was a sore loser.” He’s quiet for a beat. “Reckon I still am.” 

A light chuckle escapes you before you can stop it, and Tommy looks proud of himself. You never thought he and Joel looked terribly alike, but every once in a while you’re reminded they’re kin by the look in their eyes. They both had a way about their gaze that led you to believe they could see down to the core of anything. 

“You scared him real bad,” he says after a quiet while. “Haven’t seen him that shaken up since…” 

Sarah.  

“He was the first person to jump into action.” The look on your face lets him know you hadn’t particularly been aware. “With barely any information, at that.” 

That sounds like Joel. Always ready to dive in headfirst and find his footing along the way. Tommy runs his finger over a small smiley face carved in the railing. 

“But I told him no,” he says. “He hated me in the moment, but Jackson needs him healed.” You chew the inside of your cheek and look down at your boots. “There’s no doubt in my mind he could’ve found you on his own, though.”

Tommy gets a more thoughtful look about him and exhales. “Guess what I’m gettin’ at is, a little patience and compassion goes a long way.” 

A few people file out of the bar in a burst of energy. You and Tommy wave them off into the night. 

“My brother’s a hardass, but he loves you even harder.”

•••

From upstairs, Joel hears Tommy bid you goodnight. The front door clicks shut behind you. The hardwood creaks as you take off your shoes and ascend the stairs. You slow as you near the bedroom. When you push inside, your footsteps are even more cautious because all the lights are off. 

“Joel?” you whisper. “Are you still awake?” 

He can’t bring himself to open his mouth because he doesn’t know what to say. He wasn’t expecting you back tonight even though every part of him had held out hope. 

He clings to the swish of your clothes and the metal clink of your belt as you change in the closet. Then to the running water as you complete your night routine in the bathroom. Any other night, he’d be right by your side or watching with an easy smile on his face. Afterwards, he feels like the worst person in the world as you crawl into bed and snuggle close despite everything. 

He hadn’t been able to sleep without you by his side. Tonight there’s a chance he’ll find rest 

A stillness settles, and he forgets you know him better than he’s allowed anyone else. All his rhymes and rhythms, ticks and tells. Enough so that, try as he might, you know he’s not asleep. The clock hasn’t even struck eight. It’s early even for him. Without you here, there had been nothing else to do but attempt to fall asleep. 

You tuck your nose into his back. He smells good, freshly showered with almond goat milk soap. You’ve missed his proximity so much that you wouldn’t care if he continued to pretend. 

You remember Tommy telling you how Joel would’ve came for you if nothing stood in his way. You think about how tenderly he cared for you upon your returned, how much gentleness was packed within such strong, capable hands. 

The hair on his arms raise when you drape an arm over him from behind and feel under his shirt. His stomach jumps at the lightness of your touch gracing along his waistband. His breath catches when your hand ventures over the front of his pants to feel the heavy warmth of him just beneath. The need for connection masquerades itself as embers of desire flickering in your chest, and this is the easiest way you can think to ease the ache. 

Joel hips shift when you toy with the drawstring of his sweatpants. 

He gently pushes your hand away so he can sit upright and turn the lamp on. It’s a repeat of the other night except now, when he meets your gaze, there’s no frustration, no blame. Before he can say anything, you wrap your arms around him. It’s an awkward angle, but neither of you can bring yourselves to mind. Joel rests his chin on the top of your head. You smell like fresh air. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, pressing a kiss to his throat. Then another. 

Joel holds you, and for a moment, you worry that silence has prevailed again. He chases it away with a heavy exhale. 

“I love you.” His words come out thick and gruff. “So much it scares me sometimes.” It feels like there’s cotton in his chest, his throat. That was true of every time he revealed a fraction of his heart. Almost as if his body was trying to create a buffer to protect itself from the aftermath.  

He sniffs away what can only be unshed tears.

“Thought I was gonna lose you.” He swallows thickly. “I can’t lose you.” 

Joel loosens his hold so you can look up at him. His dark eyes are shiny and imploring like he’s been cracked open somewhere inside. “Promise me you’ll never do that again.” 

“I promise.”

His lips meet the top of your head in a kiss that lingers. He shifts thereafter, eyebrows furrowing in a restrained wince. You frown as you pull away.   

“Is it your back?” you ask softly.  

Joel offers a reluctant hum. 

“Lemme help.” You briefly cup his cheek. “Take off your shirt.” 

He only hesitates for a second.

By the time you reemerge from the bathroom with a small container of arnica balm, he sits with his legs over the side of the bed, shirt draped across the nightstand. You don’t need to tell him to reposition onto his stomach. 

Carefully, you straddle his rear. “Is this alright?” 

He nods, eyelashes fluttering as you spread the balm over the broad expanse of his back. His skin is peppered with scars, freckles, moles here and there. Years worth of stories gathered in one place. Joel tucks his nose into the pillow with a throaty sound when you dig your thumbs into the base of his spine, applying pressure as you run them upwards along either side. You do that several steady times, then, as if kneading dough, push the heels of your palms into his low back and rub outwards towards his sides. 

You eventually scoot a little higher up his body, rubbing more balm over his shoulders. Your hands settle on his trap muscles as you work your thumbs upwards towards his neck. A full-chested hum rumbles through him. 

“Feels good?”

“Yeah,” he rasps. 

You lean down to press a gentle kiss to the shell of his ear. 

It isn’t much longer before he drifts asleep. 

•••

A blue haze outside the window. Fresh snowfall. The freckle on Joel’s tricep is more interesting. You trace your finger over it as sleep still has its hold on him. Both his hands are tucked under his pillow. Ellie’s laughter sounds from downstairs, followed by Dina’s. They don’t hang around for long. Soon, the walls vibrate as they head out the front door to whatever adventure awaits. Joel’s eyelashes twitch, and you pause your tracing.

“Good morning,” you murmur. 

“Mornin’.” His eyes flutter open, voice smoky with sleep. Last night comes back to him as he studies the fondness in your eyes. 

“Knocked you out pretty good, huh?” 

Joel smiles shyly as you lean in to kiss his freckle. 

“Guess what the girls made.” 

Joel hums in question, watching you roll over to reach for your nightstand. He gives your waist an affectionate squeeze. When you resettle, he can’t believe what’s in your grasp. 

“It was Dina’s idea.” You hand him a beaded bracelet that says forever. “Mine says always.” 

Warmth stirs in his chest. Then he notices a third and reaches for it. Old timer. When his expression flattens, you break into the sweetest laughter. Joel pretends he’s unimpressed, but he’s touched by all of it. Dina’s thoughtfulness. The bracelets. You. A quick pinch to his hip is all it takes for that smile you love to stretch across his face.   

Satisfied, you comb a hand through his silvering hair. Joel presses into your touch like he knows he will for the rest of his days. 

-

Thanks for much for reading! All likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated. I promise I see them all! 

JOEL MASTERLIST 

KISS KISS BANG BANG - no outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader (bank robbers AU)

Summary: Joel and you live a life full of risk, thrill and danger. Every day can be your last, so you savour every kiss and enjoy each other to the fullest. Can you survive this journey to your dreams?

PERFECT STRANGERS - no outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: What would you do if you met a perfect stranger? Someone who understands what you've hidden deep inside your soul. The attraction is instant. It's perfect. What if you don't want to be strangers anymore?

One Shots

✨Fade Into You Jackson!Joel x fem!reader

‘Mysterious girl’ — that’s what people in Jackson call you because of your amnesia. All your memories lost, alone in the world, you’d probably be miserable and lonely if it wasn’t for your saviour, Joel Miller— a man who filled a hole in your heart with love and became your friend, your lover, your family. He makes you happy and you accept him with all his flaws. During a heated argument Joel reveals a shocking truth about your past and you come face to face with a dilemma — can you trust the person who became your whole world?

✨ Winter-kissed Jackson!Joel x fem!reader

Joel returns home from patrol and you help him get warm with your body.

✨Blast From The Past ex husband Joel x f!reader

To your dismay you run into your hot ex husband at a supermarket parking lot. At first glance it seems that Joel just wants to chat but as you two are sharing memories of the past life together, you realize that talking isn’t the only thing on his mind.

Sleep Over QZ Joel x fem!reader

After an exhausting work day in the Boston QZ you come home, dreaming about one thing - sleep. You get into bed but soon your rest is interrupted by Joel, who’s having a bad night and really needs you to stay up.

Doll People dark Joel Miller x f!reader / dark Tommy Miller x f!reader

Your life is perfect. Every day you wake up next to your loving boyfriend Joel, who's your whole world and you can't be happier, but when his brother Tommy comes to visit, your dream life crumbles into pieces in just one night.

Moanin’ and Bitchin’ Jackson Joel x fem!reader

Joel and you are good friends but after you complain to him about your love life, he surprises you with an unexpected suggestion.

Spitroasting Tommy Miller x f!reader x Joel Miller

Spitroasting you together with Joel goes a little wrong for Tommy

Good Girl Professor Joel Miller x f!reader

You get caught in the rain on your way to Professor Miller’s house and your lesson gets derailed.

Good Girl extra

Why Not? Part 1

step brother Joel helps you out when your vibe dies

Why Don’t We? Part 2

step brother Joel x f!reader x step brother Tommy

When Tommy comes home for the spring break, you keep the promise given to Joel and spend a night with both of your stepbrothers

The need Part 1

Joel gets you ready to take him

Insatiable Part 2

Joel finally gives you what you want but you crave more smut

Trapped written with @milla-frenchy Joel x f!reader x Tommy dddne, non con

Lucky you Joel x you x Clint smut, mfm

a usual evening with your boyfriend Clint and his friend Joel turns into a night full of lust and ecstasy

Be my guest Joel x hotel housekeeper f!reader smut, fluff

working as a hotel housekeeper, you meet a handsome guest under quite unexpected circumstances. An awkward conversation leads to a friendly relationship that grows into something none of you expects.

Winter Heat Joel warms you up after a patrol smut, fluff

Joel helps you to get warm after a patrol.

Hot shower pwp

Strawberries and cream DDLG

Sweet remedy DDLG

A Villain’s Monologue - serial killer!Joel Miller x f!reader dark fic

The Helping Hand - QZ Joel Miller somno

Keep On Your Mean Side - post-outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader (written with @milla-frenchy) dark fic

Birthday Surprise - no outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader x Tommy Miller mfm

Jacket -no outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader fluff

The Burglary - burglar!Joel Miller x f!reader x burglar!Tommy Miller (written with @milla-frenchy) dddne, non-con

Flasher - flasher!Joel Miller x f!reader exhibitionism

Flower - post outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader dead dove, dark fic

Bad Girl - Joel Miller x f!reader x Tommy Miller (written with @milla-frenchy) dubcon

Morning Bliss - post outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader smut, fluff

Cockwarming Joel - blurb

His - dark!Joel x f!reader x dark!Tommy x m!OCs DDDNE NON CON

Always and Forever - post outbreak Joel x f!reader angst

Ribbon - Joel x f!reader pwp

American Beauty -best friend’s dad Joel x f!reader part 2 Please, Sir

Take Me smut, angst

Swallow blurb, smut

Joel Miller x f!reader x Dave York mfm

Pt 1 Table for three Pt 2 Who’s your daddy? drabble Get a Taste

I know better than to call you mine fluff, smut

Sweet Cherry virginity loss

In His Arms QZ Joel

Hot for You - drabble

Going Down - Joel x reader, Frankie Morales x reader

Wallet Photo - dbf Joel

The Other Brother - twin AU Johnny Miller x reader, Joel x reader

Craving You - Halloween writing challenge fic

His Star - smut, angst

Joel drabble - degradation, sub/dom

The Funeral - Joel fucks you at a funeral / drabble

Your Boys - you’re about to spend the night with the Miller brothers feat Tommy Miller

Harder Than You Think - Boss!Joel x f!reader- written with @milla-frenchy Non con, dead dove

Borrowed Time - Joel and you are enjoying an ideal vacation together. Smut, angst, fluff

Joel’s twin x you - pwp, drabble

Naughty Thoughts - Professor Joel

Perfect - daddy! Joel comforts you while you’re on your period.

Other Pedro Characters

CLINT FLOOD Masterlist

LUCIEN DE LEON Masterlist

REED RICHARDS Masterlist

EZRA PROSPECT Masterlist

DAVE YORK Masterlist

FRANKIE MORALES Masterlist

JAVIER PEÑA Masterlist

DIETER BRAVO Masterlist

MAX PHILLIPS Masterlist

MARCUS ACACIUS

Destinies Intertwined - General Marcus Acacius x f!reader x Lucilla mff

HARRY CASTILLO

✨Flowers

Harry meets the love of his life

Non Pedro characters

TOMMY MILLER

✨Wild Ride 1,7k

A Taste Of You

Pool Party Tommy Miller x f!reader blurb

SUPERMAN 2025

✨Choke Me Clark Kent x f!reader

You ask Clark to choke you. He does. Kind of.

✨Love Bound Superman x f!reader

It’s only Superman and you in a glass prison cell.

Sunset - boyfriend Billy (Skeleton Twins) x f!reader Boyd Holbrook character, smut

AO3 /not all fics are there

Joel Miller pencil drawing

Javier Peña pencil drawing

Pedro Pascal pencil drawing

I saved her the last of us 2 edit

If I ever were to lose you Joel and Ellie tlou 2

Joel takes you out to dinner - moodboard

Reed Richards edit lockscreen

Lucien de Leon edit lockscreen

Pedro Pascal lockscreens 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

The Mandalorian lockscreen

Kyle Gallner The Demon lockscreen

Joel and Ellie lockscreen

dean winchester masterlist

sam winchester masterlist

castiel novak masterlist

MOODBOARDS/VISUALS

camera roll if you traveled with the winchesters

Winchester!reader

Angel!reader

Demon!reader

British Men Of Letters!reader

Vlogger!reader

living on the road with the winchesters

MISC.

what life would look like dating crowley macleod

★ THE LAST OF US ★

| ONE SHOTS |

| ★ - Home | Joel Miller x f!reader

You and Joel have been in a relationship, but only in private, for multiple months. After you spot him with another woman whilst roaming Jackson, scepticism ensues. The trials and errors of Joel Millers emotions. | ☽, ❀ |

| ★ - I Saw You In A Dream | Joel Miller x f!reader

After being ambushed by a group of raiders, you are gravely injured, testing the limits of your life. In torment, it’s dauntingly proven to Joel that without you, his light, he doesn't know how to cope. | ☽, ❀ |

| ★ - Noisy Sunday | Joel Miller x f!reader

You've entered a mindset you're unsure how to come back from, your own emotions drowning you in a pool of despondency. Joel is there, trying to help you pull away from it. | ✎, ☽, ❀ |

| ★ - My Love Mine All Mine | Joel Miller x f!reader

Subconsciously, you do know exactly where you stand with someone of such brooding nature when braced with the problematic consequences of getting involved with Joel Miller. Though, luckily, hope blurs the lines just enough to be blinded by it. | ✎, ☽, ❥ |

| ★ - Aphrodite, Sweet Angel | Mechanic!Joel Miller x f!reader

You used to be assured in your sensuality, and how you pursued it. Now with your boss, Joel Miller, it feels as though the reigns are continuously twisted, baring to you the stark reality of who you're facing. Just once, you wish to challenge his command. Joel has objections. | ❥ |

| ★ - Goodnight N' Go | Joel Miller x f!reader

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to come over, find shared comfort in the tangle of limbs and the softness of bedsheets, and then go home- that's the extent of it. So why is he bringing coffee into your work each morning, letting his dark gaze linger for beats longer than he should, a softness infiltrating the space between you? And more crucially, why do you not want him to stop? | ❀, ❥ |

| ★ - The Little Things | Joel Miller x reader

You've been travelling with Joel for a few months now. The man acts like he can't stand your presence half of the time, and yet a question lingers on your mind like a swaying pendulum. You ask Joel if he'll kiss you. | ❀ |

| ★ - Gainin' Control | Old Man!Joel Miller x f!reader

Joel is always in command, both in and out of the bedroom, and you always surrender willingly to it. But just once, you want to see what it's like to gain that control over him instead. | ❥ |

| ★ - Mrs Miller | Joel Miller x f!wife!reader

You and Joel Miller have known each other for ten years, have been together for nine, and married for six. You live together on a peaceful ranch outside of Jackson, your life peaceful and free- but maybe, in this freedom, it's time to consider expanding the Miller name. | ❀, ❥ |

| SERIES |

| ★ - Gilded Robin | Joel Miller x f!oc | currently discontinued

Having found security and comfort within the confines of Jackson, Ophelia “Robin” Robinette begins to forget of the outside world and life before she had gained this solace, until her past comes ushering back at full force. A lovers, to enemies, then back to lovers story. | ☽, ✎, ❥, ❀ |

| HARRY CASTILLO | MATERIALISTS |

| ★ - Invest In Me | Harry Castillo x f!reader

Your life has always been structured, dependable. You don’t stray, and it’s gifted you affluence. When you rashly decide to go on a blind date and they don’t show, you’re left with another fruitless, lone night of solitary. Until one equally lonely Harry Castillo invites himself to your dinner table and offers you a partnership just maybe worth investing in. | ❀, ❥ |

| COLLAGES / MOODBOARDS / DRABBLES |

| ★ - Joel Miller

| ★ - Agent Whiskey

| ★ - Cowboy!Joel Miller x f!reader | ❥ |

Good Girl* - Joel x Fem!Reader

When The Leaves Turn - Jackson!Joel x Fem!Teacher Reader

The Glasses Stay On* - Old Man!Joel x Fem!Reader

Mine To Keep* - Jackson!Joel x Wife!Reader

Sunset On The Fenceline* - Husband!Joel x Wife!Reader

Need You Now*- Jackson!Joel x Fem!Reader

Requests ⤦

Quiet Hurt

Notes in the Dark

No Fixin' Needed

Bed Rest

Birthday Boy*

Page Turner*

What's Left Of Us

Ours

Ain't Leavin'

Quiet Sanctuary

Joel isn't faring much better. Every sound you make has him on edge, staring up at the ceiling, listening with clenched teeth and tightly balled hands to try and stay on that god damned couch. He wants to climb in that bed with you so damn bad, to hold you, to touch you—to hear the words I love you.

But he won't. He can't. He promised himself he would give you your space—as much as it kills him. Time slips like water of stones and you barely see him, unless you need the restroom. You know he’s been in your room because every time your eyes open, there's more water, fresh bandages. The swelling around your eye begins to lessen, and the throb within your temples isn't so great.

You only know you've slept because you are groggy when you wake. Leg throbbing, you grit your teeth and shift, licking at your chapped lips when you hear it. Wood creaking, whining under the weight of movement. Before you're fully awake, strong arms scoop you up, and you’re cradled against Joel’s chest, your face pressed into his shirt, his chin resting on top of your head as he holds you so tightly there's not even a millimeter between your bodies.

His hands are shaking and he's murmuring something, his voice low but desperate.

"Just me baby. My girl. My girl."

You want to fight him. You want to shove him off, scream at him, demand he take you home, but you are so tired, and in so much pain. You let him hold you, let him turn and sit on the edge of the bed, rocking gently, a hand cupping your jaw as your cheek is pressed into his chest. Taking a deep breath, you resist a shudder because he still smells like your Joel. The Joel that would make you pancakes in the morning and had dirt on the knees of his denim.

You miss that Joel.

He rocks you back and forth slowly, his hand rubbing your back, the other still cradling the back of your head, his face buried in your hair.

"I just wanted it to be perfect," he murmurs, and he sounds like a desperate man. "This other world that I created. For you and me."

You shiver at his words and your head is throbbing as you let out a small groan of discomfort.

“‘M hot,” you murmur, and he shifts you so he can put a hand to your brow. He frowns when he feels your forehead—you're burning up, your skin clammy.

"God damn it," he mutters, gently laying you down again—the mattress creaking softly as your back hits the bed. Joel tucks the blankets over you, trying not to disturb your injured leg too much.

"Fever," he mutters, running a hand over his face. "You got a goddamn fever."

You feel sluggish, slow, and your eyes flutter heavily, but still you try to push at him. Joel grabs your wrists easily, and shoves you arms down before picking you up bridal style.

He carries you to the restroom, setting you down on the lip of the tub, his grey eyes finding yours. “You need a bath. The water will help. Now I can bathe you or you can try yourself.”

Your head is pounding but you scowl at him, your jaw tight. “Don’t touch me.”

His jaw clenches at your words, but he doesn't argue—just stands back, and crosses his arms. You're feverish and injured, and he won't push you any more when you're this weak.

"You gonna be able to do it alone?" he asks, his voice gruff, and his eyes linger over your injured leg.

“I’d rather be dirty than have you undress me.” You snap, hoping your words hurt. His expression darkens and his eyes harden. He looks like he wants to reach out for you, but he holds himself back—his hands dropping to his sides.

“That ain't how I love, you know that." he shoots back, and you have to swallow down a laugh at his audacity.

“No?” You hiss. “No, you just break bones when things don’t go your way. Safe? This isn’t safe, Joel. This house is so broken down I’m surprised it didn’t collapse when the snow came.”

“Course it didn’t. I redid the beams.”

You tug on your sock on the uninjured leg, yanking them off and ignoring the throbbing in your other leg before stilling and looking up at him.

“You reinforced the beams.” You whisper. Joel nods, and you feel a little sick. You try to stand, try to pull yourself up but fail and he helps you, straightens you until you can stand on your own, your spine leaning against the sink.

You hold his eyes as you pull down your shorts, shimmying out of them, and they pool to the floor. He wants you, and you are determined to show no more fear, and you grind your jaw before tugging at the hem of your shirt up and over your head.

Joel has to stop himself as you pull your shirt off—his fingers itches to touch you, to feel the bare skin of your stomach and your shoulders, but he stands, hands at his sides, and stares at you like you're the most precious thing in the world.

His eyes rove over your body, his breath hitching in his throat as his lips part. "You're so goddamn beautiful.”

You heart flutters in your chest and you frown at your own reaction. “So you what, redid the beams. Furnished the house, made it all nice and neat so that when you locked me away it would be ready?”

His nostrils flare but he doesn't turn away—his eyes roaming over your body, and for the first time, you can see something that seems like doubt flickering in his gaze.

"You were supposed to like it here. You were supposed to be…happy."

You stare at him before slowly dropping your eyes to your leg, and then flicking back up to his gaze.

“Right. Happy,” you mutter, then scoff as you limp to the tub, turning the shower faucet on. “Because anyone would be happy with having their ankle snapped and being tricked into leaving their home.”

His hands are shaking as you step into the water, his gaze lingering down the length of your body before he has to drag it back up to your face. It's like he just can't help himself, and the heat that's building under his skin makes him grip the doorframe tightly to ground himself. He tries to keep his voice steady, but it still comes out low and rough, like he's barely, barely holding on.

"I thought you would understand.”

You slip, and you clutch at the wall, barely balancing yourself before you stand upright again. The water spray is cold as ice, but you ignore it, feeling hot under Joel’s gaze burning holes into your back.

“No you didn’t,” you whisper, and your teeth are already chattering as you begin to wash your skin. “You just want to keep me all to yourself.”

He's nearly panting now, his eyes glued to your body as the water runs down your skin, and he makes a noise that's somewhere between a growl and a groan. His voice is low and rough, and he's barely holding himself back when he says, "Hell yes, I want you all to myself. I don't give a damn if that's selfish, I ain't ever sharing you."

You snap your head to glare at him and the expression on his face nearly breaks your facade.

He looks hungry.

You turn away, grinding your teeth as the water clings to your skin and your stomach twists. There’s a new bar of soap, smooth and polished on the edge of the tub, and you bend to grab it. You wobble, and you feel the air leave your lungs as you tilt too far. Warm hands are on your forearms before you realize, holding you up, and when your eyes meet Joel’s, you instantly remember the way he tastes. He gazes at you, half in the shower and his other foot still on the bathroom floor, and water splashes onto his jeans, his hands, sprinkles his shirt. One of his hands loosens, his thumb running up and down the inside of your arm and you try to suppress a shiver.

"Can I…can I wash your hair?" His hand on your arm is trembling, his fingers stroking your skin like he's desperate to touch more of you. His voice is thick, low, and rough when he finally speaks, watching your expression.

You hate him. Or you should. But then you find yourself nodding yes, and find that you hate yourself more. Joel steps away, tearing off his clothes and leaving them in a heap on the floor before stepping back inside the shower, his eyes on your face, hands coming up to cradle your jaw.

His hands move down to your shoulders and then he's turning you around, careful of your leg. He's pressed up behind you, his chest against your back, like he can't get enough contact with your skin. His hands are trembling slightly as they move over your shoulders, moving down slowly to spread the soap across your back.

His breath fans against your ear as he asks gently, "Can you lift your arms, baby?"

You do so without speaking, and he runs the soap over your skin, his hand pausing at the curve of your breast, and you flinch.

“S’okay sweet girl,” he murmurs, his nose pressing into the side of your head. “It’s just me.”

“I know,” you whisper, and his fingers ghost over the bud of your breast and you shiver, hating how you respond to him. “That’s what’s terrifying.”

He breathes out, and he nuzzles his face in your hair, trying to control the rush of desire that's flooding through him. Joel slowly rubs the soap down to your abdomen before moving his arms to circle you, both of his palms pressed flat over your belly. He's so close that you can feel the heat of his body against your back—every bit of skin that's touching yours is fire, and he takes a shuddering breath. His lips move to your shoulder, and he kisses the water off your skin, his teeth nipping at your throat.

"You don't know how much I missed this." he murmurs against your skin. You let out a small whimper, shifting and it makes pain radiate up your leg, bringing you back to exactly what you’re doing.

“Stop,” you snap, pulling away, sending a glare over your shoulder. “I said you could wash my hair. I didn’t say you could-“

"Yeah." A beat of silence where he doesn’t move an inch except to slowly lower himself to kneel in front of you under the spray, arms braced on either side of your thighs like some kind of sinner at confession. For a second, he looks wounded before his expression shutters completely again. "...Tell me how you want it then."

“I-” you flush, hyper aware of how close he is to where you’ve been neglected. “What?”

Joel squeezes your thighs lightly, his eyes blown black. “I know I hurt ya. Let me make you feel good again.”

You feel dizzy, a dull ache thrumming between your legs and you chew at your lip, moving back from him slowly even though part of you wants to hook your leg over his shoulder and let him taste you with a tongue you know is incredibly skilled. He's breathing hard, his fingers digging into your thighs as he watches you move back and his eyes darken even more, his gaze dropping to the junction of your legs, his tongue running over his bottom lip instinctively.

“Don’t.” His words are icy, clipped. You frown, taking in the way the water slips down his naked chest and into the divots of his collarbones. You keep your eyes above his waist.

“Don’t what?” You ask, defiant as always, and grind your jaw. “I think I’m done with my shower anyways.”

His fingers dig harder into your skin, holding you in place and not letting you step out of the shower, his face tilted up to look at you. He’s much taller than you, yet seeing him kneel and look up at you is unexpectedly overwhelming.

"Stay put."

You still, your leg aching as Joel rises to his full height. Eyes dropping you find him hard and attention, and while you’ve seen him naked before it’s been months, and your stomach tightens.

“Joel-“

“Don’t.” He says again, and stepping out of the shower he grabs a towel from beneath the sink, holding one out to you. You take it, wrapping around your middle as Joel ties his own around his waist, his erection barely covered.

“Who knows where we are?” You ask, trying to ignore the ache in your gut as you wobble out of the shower.

He catches you as you stumble, his arms slipping out to wrap around your waist to keep you steady. The heat of his body against yours is like a furnace, and with a groan he presses his face into your hair.

"Nobody." His voice is a low growl as his hands move over your skin. "Nobody knows where we are."

There’s a battle of desire, anger and resentment coursing within you and you scowl.

“I can’t believe you,” you whisper, and his thumbs press harder into your shoulder blades. You try not to wince. “T-that you’d…”

"I had to." His voice is raw—full of all the frustration and desire no one but you seems to invoke from him. He turns his face, nuzzling the column of your neck, and his lips are burning now, tracing hot kisses on your skin.

You let out a small gasp, hands flying to his shoulders for balance as he leans your ass against the sink. “Had to?”

His hands are sliding down your body, gripping your hips as he crowds you against the countertop—his lips still sucking on your neck. He's panting, his voice ragged as he murmurs, "You don't understand."

“Don’t…” you whisper, but you only half mean it, and when his palm slides over your breast you whimper, muscles tightening. Joel pulls back his head, stares at you for a moment before crushing his mouth to yours in one singular kiss before moving down your jaw, whispering words of endearment into your skin.

He groans when you whimper, his mouth trailing down your throat to the hollow of it before he nips at the sensitive skin there. His hands are everywhere—on your waist, sliding up under the towel still wrapped around you—and suddenly you're being lifted onto that cold countertop without warning.

Joel doesn't even hesitate as he presses between your thighs with a deep hum, "Tell me no."

“I-I,” you gulp, and when his fingers glide up your slit he’s met with no resistance.

“Fuckin’ soaked.” He mutters, his face tight as he studies you, parting you with his fingers and slipping one inside. You gasp, head angeled back slightly. Your leg is throbbing but as Joel rubs at you slowly, pleasure coils its way down your limbs.

“Joel.” You whisper, and you hate him. You hate him, and you hate how much you don’t really hate him at all.

He lets out a guttural moan, burying his face in your neck as he adds a second finger to the first as he stretches you out. "My perfect girl..."

He's panting now, his body shaking like he can barely control himself, and his voice is thick with need as he grits out, "I can't take that long without touching you. Need you so God damn bad, baby girl. Never going so long without you again. No matter what...need you... need you to... need you”

You gasp again, clutch at him with a whimper, his babbling running over your skin like oil, slick and warm.

“Please,” you hum, and you’ve thrown all the insanely bright red flags to the wind because this is Joel. Your Joel. “Please, please.”

“Mm?” He hums, nips at your skin, the wet sound between your thighs bouncing around in your head.

“P-please.” You repeat and you don’t know what you’re asking, you just know you need more, you need to forget where you are, and what he’s done.

He doesn't need to be told twice. Joel drops his towel and lifts your leg with one hand—careful of the injured one—and presses himself in you with one rough, claiming thrust. His groan is filthy as he bottoms out inside you, his forehead dropping to yours while his other hand grips your hip hard enough to bruise.

"Fuck—fuckin' perfect, just like this. My perfect girl." His hips jerk forward instinctively before stilling again, letting you adjust around him despite how badly he's shaking with restraint.

You wince, not because of the feeling but because of his words, his possessiveness. It scares you, makes your chest tight and yet you find yourself still spreading your legs for him, opening your jaw so he’ll lick inside your mouth. He moans, burying himself in you harder, a hand moving to hitch your leg even higher while the other grips your chin, his mouth brutal and hot on yours. He's panting into you, his tongue taking, taking whatever you'll give him as he pulls out.

Arms around his neck, you burrow your face into his collarbone and sob, pleasure coursing through the lower half of your frame. Your vision is blurred as you moan, looking over his shoulder through the open door, into the bedroom. The snow is stark outside, visible through the window, and it stretches for miles and miles, and it dawns on you how truly alone you are.

“I…I think…” you start to say but gasp as Joel’s hand moves between your legs, pulling more pleasure from you until you’re shaking, biting into the meat of his shoulder.

Joel moves faster now, his hands roaming over your body, his arms like a cage that you have no chance of breaking free from. He's muttering again, nonsense words falling so fast you know it's not something he meant for you to hear.

 "My girl... My sweet girl, baby... My everything…"

You come hard, tears slipping down your face as your hands dig into his skin. His hips roll before his palm slides to your lower back, and as his thrusts get sloppy you realize he isn’t planning on pulling out.

You don’t even bother trying to stop him.

Joel groans into your neck as he pumps you full, and your tears come faster but quiet, your lips bruised and chest heaving as he leans against you. He holds you like that—forehead pressed to your shoulder, his breath ragged as he slowly softens inside you. His hands are still trembling where they grip your hips, and for a moment all he does is breathe against you.

“I love you." It's not an apology—it’s a promise wrapped in something too close to worship as his thumb brushes over the fresh bruise on your thigh. "...you love me.”

You blink before he steps away, and you can feel his spend leaking from you. It’s unbearable.

He cleans you up wordlessly before picking you up, settling you naked on the bed. Dressing quickly, he then pulls your clothes on, and murmurs. “Want to see the rest of the house?”

You say nothing, and his knees creak when he picks you up again, walking out of the bedroom. In a low voice he gives you a mockery of a tour of the small home, nodding at fixtures and adjustments he made. There’s a small fire going, the flames heating the room, and cleaned clothing is drying on a rack. As Joel speaks, you look at the clothing, your heart beating hard behind your ribs when you recognize the blue and black plaid jacket. You feel a little sick, and clutch to him harder, needing anything to ground you.

Charlie hadn’t deserved that.

“S’for you baby,” he murmurs. He opens the front door, and there’s a rocking chair, the wood smoothed and polished, and the floor boards creak under his weight as he places you in it. “What do you think?”

You say nothing, staring at the snow that expands for miles, and tears well in your eyes again. Licking your lips, you swallow down a knot in your throat.

“I think,” you whisper, and your eyes slide to his, lock onto the grey irises that have changed so much. “I think I’m going to die in this house.”

For a moment, a flicker crosses his expression, as if he wants to curse but forces himself not to. His face relaxes, and he lowers himself in front of you, steadying himself as he meets your gaze. He studies your face for a long second before quietly saying, “Don’t say that.”

“I think I'm gonna die in this house,” you whisper again, voice hoarse and you barely register his hand pulling back before it comes across your cheek in a hard slap.

Your head whips to the left, making your hair swish over your shoulder but you don’t make a sound. You don’t scream, or yelp in pain. You simply return your gaze to his face, the tears fresh in your eyes and he looks at you with such coated malice, that you know you are right. He freezes—his entire body locking up as if you just struck him instead of the other way around. His hand is still hovering in the air where he hit you, his knuckles red and shaking.

His voice comes out broken. "No."

He stares at you for a long moment before standing shakily, and runs a hand down his face. “I- I'm tryin’,baby. I am. I did all this for you. You see that, don’t you? It's beautiful. Ain’t it?”

You swallow, looking out across the expansion of the snow, the ache in your leg keeping you held in place like hand cuffs. Tilting your neck to him, you let Joel see all the pain etched into your face, and clutch your hands in your lap.

“Yeah Joel,” you whisper, leaning your back to the wood of the rocking chair, a display of your defeat. “It’s beautiful.”

x

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