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June 10, 11, 13, 14, 2021

*Reminder that everything stated below is based off of tarot cards and intuition and is NOT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY. It’s all unsubstantiated claims until proven otherwise. Entertainment purposes only.*

*I’m gonna repeat this one more time for the crazy fans in the back - using my tarot cards and intuition is basically akin to guessing so don’t be spreading any of these “educated” guesses on those crazy gossip sites/blogs and claiming my tarot cards as gospel truth. I’m reiterating this statement because part 2 is mostly about his love life/ relationships and I KNOW you guys go cray cray for that shit. SO CALM THE F DOWN, TAKE A DEEP BREATH, ADMIRE THE GOOD LOOKS GOD GAVE THIS MAN, AND MOVE ON. 

AND SO IT BEGINS….

What does CE’s dating life look like at the moment?

TLDR: officially it’s a bit of a grey area. He seems to consider himself single but I see him talking to at least 1 person if not multiple; not serious. I don’t see dating/physical contact more like online communication. Too busy with work.

Look, I know a good number of you are from the US and things aren't amazing there either, but my country is literally on the brink of collapse. So I'd love it if we could talk about that for a minute.

If you can't do anything else, please just read and reblog.

So I had wine and I am very tired and so I am a bit tipsy but I saw the Tarzan movie so I thought I’d give my honest review.

Excuse typos because you know, wines.

Ok so I don’t know what the plot is or who is in it other than Alexander Skarsgard and Alexander Skarsgard’s magnificent holy abs. I don’t know what the dialogue or acting is like or whatever.

But like 1/3 of the way in Alexander Skarsgard is going to fight a gorilla for some reason and he takes off his shirt and OMG LIKE I ACTUALLY GROANED LOUDLY.

He does not put his shirt back on for the whole movie.

And like The V. sweet mother Mary the V I am telling you. The v is worth $15. The V is worth so much I wanted to see the movie again straight afterward.

Did I say that he doesn’t put his shirt back on?

This is why I can’t tell you what the movie is about. Samuel l Jackson at one point is talking about something really important and it’s just white noise because Alexander Skarsgard has the best body that ever existed.

I am basically exhausted from being in a constant state of arousal for the rest of the 2/3 of the film.

When he swings on stuff it’s slow mo and there are like all these long shorts of his muscles.

And like at one point he is wet. Like so wet. And I was like to my friend OMG and we were both like HE IS SO WET. And glistening with his chest and his abs and his arms and he’s all dirty and the V. THe V I am telling you.

Some stuff happens I don’t know. But the important thing to know is that he doesn’t put his shirt back on and he’s really wearing those pants.

And his eyes. He has such puppy dog eyes. If I was with Alexander Skarsgard I would be like what’s wrong Alexander Skarsgard because he always looks so sad. And then he would say – nothing because you’re my wife. And then we would bang.

There are many close ups of his sad eyes.

There is one sex scene that stops before anything properly happens which made me so angry I intend to write to the director to give him a pieces of my mind.

I mean why the fuck is this movie pg13. What mum is going to watch this movie with her kid. Nobody wants to sit with their teenage son while they’re imagining Alexander Skarsgard diving into their lady parts.

I am furious.

But also very grateful. For this wonderful movie. That gave us Alexander Skarsgard. He is a gift to the world. And I bet he is so nice.

And he is SO TALL.

Like this movie really shows his tallness.

Like so tall. That at one point he comes up behind whoever the actress was and I let out this like guttural noise like I was dying and the guy next to me gave me a filth look and I was like fuck you what are you even doing here.

Alexander Skarsgard is Tarzan and he belongs to the women of the world.

I am an atheist but there is the point where he swings onto this other thing and catches his like “wife” (this is not a spoiler you’re not watching the movie for the plot ok) and like his muscles and his v and he’s so strong and tall and I actually like think I saw God?

So in short, definite Oscar worthy movie with just like amazing arms and imagine if your job was to put the dirt and blood on his arms? Imagine if that was your job. To just touch Alexander Skarsgard all day. And he would flirt with you but not be gross. He would just be a total gentlemen and maybe you’d drop your make up brush and you’d both reach down and get it and he’d look at you with his sad eyes and you would be dead.

That would be it.

You would actually die.

But it would be worth it.

This has been a review by Emily after two maybe three wines on very little sleep. Thank you and good night.

9oS/Devil/Star (Also QoC popped out and I was like ok, I see you.)

9oS here suggests that at the beginning of their relationship he’s going to be quite obsessed (especially with the Devil here). 9oS suggests sleepless nights/constantly thinking about something or someone. What I am getting is that he’s going to be physically and emotionally attracted to her. Here’s exactly how I read the QoC & Star combination - he will literally think she’s a gift sent from above. The perfect woman, everything he’s ever hoped for and dreamed of. In fact he’s already subconsciously fallen in love with her because she’s so dreamy. The QoC is someone who believes they were made for someone specifically, and they’ve went through trials and tribulations to make their way to their true loves kiss. Best way to describe a QoC? Gisselle from Enchanted 😂

Chris is a person who loves his personal space. After meeting her and making it official, intuitively I see that going out the window. I see a lot of his old ways just disappearing, and a lot of his old ideas just vanishing into thin air. He will have a new outlook on what he wants in a relationship. I see him wanting to be around her more often than apart because she makes him feel like he’s home (4oW) If he goes to Home Depot for something he’s gonna ask her if she wants to go. The energy that I’m feeling, and the best way to describe it, is if you’ve been on a trip for the longest time and you go home to see your family/friends and they make you feel at home and peace. There’s nothing like it. You’re comfortable and for him, this feeling is new in a relationship because he’s never felt this spiritually or emotionally. Usually for him with a girlfriend it’s like “see ya in three months!” Calls to check in every week. With this one it’s a different level of commitment. I think he will be possessive, clingy, and almost kind of addicted and he’s going to be that annoying boyfriend/husband that texts “Where you at?” When he hasn’t seen her in a few hours. He’s just going to feel like he’s found his best friend wrapped up into his girlfriend/wife. When something exciting or unsettling happens for him, she’ll be the first one he thinks of to call instead of his mother or closest friends. That will be new for him and something he will gladly accept with a smile. I think they will hold hands a lot in public, because I keep getting that flash in my head. For once CE will feel comfortable and won’t look as if he’s some little boy forced to kiss his auntie.

I’m fairly good with energy! I can sometimes sense these things. As soon as I’m in touch with someone else’s energy I can tell what they like/don’t like most of the time. I don’t claim that it’s 100% facts (It’s entertainment purposes and my own intuition) but I’m confident that some things are on point. Like one girl continues to message me on different usernames asking for a personal reading, because she believes deep down she’s CE’s FS. She’ll give her Moon/ascending/or rising. As soon as I began reading the new username I picked up on the same girl and never messaged her back (hey girl that’s why you’re left on read). So to wrap that up CE and his spouses energy is very intertwined! I also get in my head that some of their family members might even share the same birthdays that’s how crazy and intertwined this relationship is (6oC/10oP) every time I read on them something pops up with their family members. It just feels like one huge family will come together and it’ll be something like My Big Fat Greek Wedding. So many loud folks into one place at the same time! I can sense both of their mothers are very very opinionated, and that will clash at some point (QoW & Empress) her mom comes off very fact based. Needs to know all the details, gives her details and opinion when it’s not necessary even if it brings the other person down (Judgement & 4oC) it’s as if Lisa has met her match. Can’t wait for this :)

5oW/7oW/Death

With these cards I can see that CE isn’t going to allow others to put down someone he cares about. He’s going to be so protective of her that he’s not going to care what anyone thinks if he’s rude. I think there’s going to be a lot of conflict at first, and people aren’t going to be happy. They won’t understand this is a new beginning for him and he’s worked long and hard for this new chapter in his life. In the end it will work out and everything will fall into place (10oP)

What is FS connection to birds?

QoP/AoP/QoC

I loved this question. Absolutely loved it. I was wondering myself! It’s her spirit animal. Birds are usually a symbol for a messengers sent from the universe. It depends on the bird and if you’re open enough to accept that message with your intuition. If your spirit animal totem is a blue bird (which I see quite frequently with her) it means you are truly a joyful person and bring happiness to those around you. I believe she is an all around warm and kind animal lover. She’s the type that if a dog is walking on the street it would come over to her willingly.

Other stuff I pulled about CE:

Magician/Lovers/10oC

I think he is manifesting his true hearts desire. When I read this just for fun I wasn’t expecting the answer. In a way, I sensed that he was reading tarot readings for himself (PoS) and he’s learning to not make the same mistakes as he did before. Sometimes people will read the Lovers card as someone who needs to love both sides of themselves before they can move forward in life - self love/healing. I am reading it as this for CE! I think Chris needs to ground himself and realize that there is someone out there who will love all of his crazy little quirks that drive most people crazy (10oC) and he’s almost to the finish line. The waiting game is over. Just because you’re older than your friends, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Good things take time.

Sorry it took so long guys! I’ve been having awful headaches. It’s hard to read and get a good answer with the pain but I really wanted to get this to you!

So I saw another tarot posting about CE having kids soon and just wanted to check with my cards and see if that was correct and this is what I got….

Will CE ever have kids? WOW!!!!!!! First off it’s like I got an electric shock from my deck when shuffling. Seriously, I’m trying to type this and I have to keep shaking my hands bc there is this really powerful “zinging” sensation in them. Kind of like when you hit your funny bone and you can feel the vibration all the way to your fingertips - like that but less painful. Basically that means the cards were like screaming YES!!!!! I also got a flash in my mind of the number 3 and wouldn’t you know it - 3oC fell out while shuffling. I expect to CE to have 3 kids in the future. 

Outside the deck - 4oS/9oC/Lovers = right now things are not moving in the children making department. 4oS is a non-movement card, it’s about resting and recovering, inactivity, being calm and meditating, taking a break, however there may still be this one key issue on your mind. 9oC tells me yes he will have children in the future, getting his dreams and desires, wishes coming true. But I don’t expect to see any movement in this area until he meets his “Lover” ie wifey. 

Main spread - (Tower/KnoC/4oC/6oP/Death/8oC)

Children will happen suddenly and out of the blue but will be very much welcomed news nevertheless. (Tower/KnoC) Children will not occur until after CE has his cycle change and begins a new phase of his life (which is set to occur in 2021) (Death in the past). It’s possible that having children could require medical help (IVF) 6oP - it’s mostly about charity, giving and receiving of wealth, generosity. It can also show that you are in a stable, balanced situation and are comfortable enough to share this wealth with others. (Not always about money - can be love, knowledge, time, presence, possessions, etc). In a relationship it would be about giving and receiving of love, kindness, generosity. Being very supportive of each other both physically and financially. Being a generous lover, a supportive lover. Sometimes it can represent an unexpected windfall (inheritance, gift). Energy above is 4oC - is a non-movement card, this is about meditating, contemplating, re-evaluating. Clarified with 3oW - planning for the future, foresight, expansion, expanding your horizons. I get the feeling this might be about time. Like they may be together for close to 3 years before they start to have kids together. I think they might be in the talking phase and maybe getting a place together when oops - Universe hands you a cup of opportunity and surprise - you’re pregnant. 8oC in the near future spot - so walking away, abandonment, leaving behind something that doesn’t give you emotional fulfillment, letting go, searching for truth. No CE won’t abandon baby mama/wifey. This is more or less about being confronted with the moment of transition (all those things you thought would bring you joy and happiness and they didn’t, wasn’t what you thought it was) you leave it all behind and seek a new journey of self discovery into the unknown. We are seeking self-improvement, self-growth, a higher purpose, something that’s more emotionally fulfilling. Parenthood. *(But there is some sadness to this card too so I’m still getting the strong feeling this first baby is unplanned. I think the baby makes them shift gears and change their plans around. Which looks like it will be a good thing down the road. It’s just a surprise and unplanned but they’re still happy bc they were headed for babies anyways - just planned it for a little later down the road.)

Rest of the cards - (PoC/WoF/3oS/PoS)

Yes, CE will have children. (PoC) Most likely will be a pleasant surprise. Spontaneous. This is all part of the Universe’s plan for him, karmic destiny, and could possibly usher in a new cycle change for him (fatherhood). (WoF). 3oS in hopes/fears - this is about being upset, sad, loss, grief, heartbreak, sorrow, tears. Which makes no sense to me bc CE has always said he wants kids so clarified with Hermit/5oW/PoW. I think he may worry about losing the baby and/or all the other worries that come with facing parenthood for the first time. I also think that him and baby mama may not quite see eye to eye on how to raise kids/ their approach to parenthood. I also get the sense that CE may not think he’s wise enough, mature enough, may possibly even withdrawal into himself in search of introspection. The Hermit is all about being alone, solitude, introspection, self reflection, searching for wisdom and higher meaning in life. *(I wonder if these two might be separated somehow during the pregnancy and that would explain the 3oS - heartbreak. Why they are arguing and at odds with each other - 5oW.) This whole hopes/fear line (3oS/Hermit/5oW/PoW) is weird. Ends with PoS - communication, being talkative, mentally restless, energetic, could allude to public announcement/statement, news/gossip. 

Do you think this whole Lily thing is just PR and that Chris really was being truthful when he said he was single on Bill Maher without even being asked? Or do you think they are actually a real couple?

I don’t know if it was ALL PR. I think there may have been a bit of honest date-ness to the scenario. I think a mutual acquaintance set them up to see if something would happen and a third party person set them up with the paps. 

After reading on both - I believe Lily was looking to have some fun after the Matt debacle (which is still in a weird on/off limbo state that’s really messing with her head). And Chris is sooooo lonely single I believe he would’ve enjoyed the company of a pineapple if it would’ve talked back to him. It just so happened that this pineapple was a lovely young woman, who is full of life, engaging, fun, spontaneous, and helped break up the boringness that is quarantine. I believe he’s so sick of being single that he was trying to make something happen, a spark between them, far more than she was. 

So is he single? …..