D E L I C A T E

Oh please you probably have a LONG list of girls who have you on that ‘would marry’ list. I’ve seen that face. I’ve seen it.

Girl, if you’re trying to woo me, it’s working.

I hope that, by the end of the trip, you did something other than staying in your room?

If not, I’m going to insist that Serena take us back to Miami so we can fix that.

I did!!! Serena got me busy.

Why?  You’d be famous and wealthy as fuck.  Who the fuck cares? ‘Aw shucks’ isn’t a good look for you, Abrams.

Not nearly enough if you haven’t fucked a supermodel while in a hot tub on a south beach rooftop.

I don’t wanna turn into some kinda unlikable asshole.

I mean this alone puts you in my top 5 ‘would marry’ list so there’s that.

I. Feel. HONORED.

I’m more concerned with the idea of you getting around safely. Have you managed okay so far?

Uh, does so far basically staying in my room count as safe?

However, I’d imagine traveling through private, executive airports a la Opa Locka and Teterboro make it a bit easier, yea?  Amp up that YouTube fame and you’ll get to experience it even more.

Good.  Because it’s going to happen.  You’re overdue for some life experiences, Abrams.

Pretty sure all being famous would do is make me feel more humiliated about not being able to do shit... but maybe that’s just me. I like to try and do it all for myself.

i… read this so differently lmaooooo

when bae puts “use me” and “easy af” in the same sentence but it’s not about banging. rip me.

All I got from this is that I’m bae.

Tsk, tsk.  Already thinking about our departure, Abrams?  We’ve only just arrived!

And by the way, I have decided to make it my personal Miami mission to give you the full Miami VIP club experience.  If you don’t end up in a hot tub with at least two half naked women on each arm by the time this trip has ended, I will consider myself a failure.

Listen, traveling is hella stress for us nonfast easy walkers.

As your roommate for the week, don’t I get first dibs on this?

You’re gonna have to woo me, girl.

Favorite reddit thread- go. No pressure but you are completely being judged by whatever your answer might be.

/r/doesanybodyelse is a hella fav. Buuuut /r/memeeconomy is a MUST read erry day, bro.

you are the perfect prom date. i hope they saved all the taylor for my crowning or i will riot. you look good tonight, btw. total roller-babe. 

Girl, you’re cray. If someone woulda told me someday I’d get to take the flyest chick in the world to prom I’da rolled them over with my chair. If they didn’t, I’ll sue. Alsooooo I miiiight have brought an extra crown, just in case they’re stupid and don’t give you one.

*sexy bitch by david guetta ft akon plays in the background*

YOU FLATTER ME, SO

getwilde: every move you make everything you say is right today was a fairytale~~

I could dance to this beat forevermore. :P

↳ INSTAGRAM: @arinotgrande uploaded a new photo.

@awildecard made my dreams come true tonight and i didn’t run over her feet with my chair or hit her with one of my crutches, so prom was a #success

Duh, but just bc something’s a given doesn’t mean you shouldn’t like remind me, Ari. 

So, like… did you want to maybe roll me around and show me your moves at the dance tomorrow night?

I’ll make a better point to remind you, fo sho.